Growing feelings - (Bertholdt x Reader) College AU

Are we going to talk about that

Bertholdt's pv

I couldn't sleep well that night, so right before dawn I got up and went outside. I stayed near the lake, just staring at the mountains far ahead.

I noticed someone was aproaching me, it was Reiner. He stopped beside me.

- You're awake so early today - he said, calmly - Was it that nightmare again?

- No, it wasn't that... I just didn't feel like staying in bed.

- I see... same as me.

We stood in silence for a while, feeling the soft breeze of the wind and looking beyond the lake, waiting for the first rays of sunlight.

- Bertholdt... I want to apologize for yesterday.

I didn't look at him and waited for him to continue.

- I said I wouldn't middle but I couldn't keep my word.

- Well at least you got to dance with her, so it was worth it, right. - I replied in an hostile way.

He looked at me, noticing my annoyed expression.

- No, wait... I think there's a misunderstanding here. I didn't invite her to dance cause I wanted to dance with her like that, I was doing it for your sake-

- Aah, I see. For my sake you had to shove your face as close as possible to hers. And grab her waist and move your body against hers, yes, I can totally understand.

Reiner had his mouth slightly open without knowing what to answer. Was he really that surprised that what he did bothered me?

- Look, I saw that Jean was clearly using her to his own advantage, I had to do something. And I knew you were too meek to do anything about it!

- Using her?? - Suddenly my biterness towards Jean got worse than yesterday.

- Yes, besides, after that I was trying to get her to admit that she likes you. I just don't get it... it's been months now and you guys keep avoiding each other for whatever reason. Just be straight with her and tell her your feelings directly.

- Like you're the one to talk...

- Hey that's different-

- And I was straight with her. I tried to kiss her and she rejected me. Is there a more straight way than this?

I sighed and felt a knot on my throat. Admiting it out loud made me remember on how awful it feels like.

- You... you tried to kiss her?

- Yes... back at the festival. During the fireworks... I thought it was the right time... that she felt the same... but I was wrong!

I was fighting back my tears. I didn't want to break like a little child again. Since then, I've come to terms with it and accepted that we can only be friends. I know how things are. So why is it that... that it hurts so much.

- I didn't know... I'm sorry to hear that...

The first rays of sunlight started to peek over the mountains. As time passed by, I started to feel relief for letting it out of my chest. It's been a while since I've wanted to tell him what had happened but didn't get the chance. Now he would understand why me and (y/n) weren't together. 

- There's something else... I wanted to apologize for.

- What is it?

- The kiss... back at the festival... our kiss.

I was took by surprise when he brough that up. I thought for sure we internally agreed never to mention it and pretend it didn't happen. Or that he was too drunk to remember!