shawn mendes imagines

fighting

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"You never make time for us anymore!" you angrily roared at your boyfriend Shawn, of two years.

"Really? You're seriously gonna say that?! You know how hard I've been working these past few months, trying to get this album complete! It doesn't help coming back home to you, giving me this shit! You know what, I don't need this". Shawn muttered under his breath followed by a scoff. He thrusted his arms upwards into the air, clearly stating that he was also feeling the same amount of anger and raw emotions as you. He soon began to walk out of the kitchen of your shared condo, heading upstairs to do god knows what.

Leaving you all alone in your emotional and messy state.

Your eyes began forming tears that gradually fell down your cheeks. You instantly swiped the wetness away with your sleeves, feeling the dampness of them as well as seeing the mascara stains it left behind. You ruffled your loose hair back with your hand, eyes closed as you tried to remain calm. Yet all you can really feel is pure anger but at the same time, heart broken.

You felt a sense of loss in the pit of your stomach, as if a hole had been constructed. The missing gap being Shawn, referencing to the loss of love that he no longer shows nor gives you...

The toxic feeling is too difficult to explain. It was just a sickening feeling that messes with your mind crazily to which you no longer can control for a second more.

You were aware that Shawn was a busy person with a never ending schedule, due to his successful career. That was something you had to accept from the beginning of your relationship. He also reminded you of it a lot just so you were completely aware of what you were putting yourself through (by dating a worldwide singer who tours around the world globally). Yet, you didn't think things would get this difficult. You knew he never would intentionally want to make you feel this way by putting you in this shitty situation.

This wasn't the first time you've felt this way but it was testing your patience. You knew at some point you were going to have to let out your steam, implying to Shawn that  you can no longer go on acting like everything is 'okay'. You always held a fake smile every time he asked how you are, being unable to break his heart knowing how you truly felt and that the reason was mostly in fault of his.

You love Shawn so much and you knew he loved you too but you had to face the harsh yet true facts of what this relationship was doing to you. The more you thought about how difficult this relationship was getting for you the more pain you started to feel. It was increasing and worsening which you could no longer hold back anymore.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why?
You mentally kept questioning this dreadful thought yourself, being now sat on the cold ground with your legs crossed and head held in your hands.

The inevitable amount of crying you did (which you tried to control) began taking over your whole body. Suddenly, you felt your eyes becoming heavy and within seconds you laid across the kitchen floor, feeling sleep take over you.

I guess feeling emotionally drained can take a huge affect on your physical state too.

You never were getting much sleep anyway because you would either stay up late at night waiting for Shawn to come home (which resulted in you falling asleep before he arrives because he always comes so late) or you would lie in bed most nights feeling paranoid, making it more difficult for you to fall asleep.

You'd have the worst thoughts of your relationship with Shawn, feeling like it was being held by a loose thread. Maybe not even a thread anymore, the thread now disappearing into thin air. Signalling that your relationship will soon collapse, destroying everything you've shared together by putting an end to everything.