Chapter 25: The Answer.
"You became the reason,
of my stay.
You became my attachment,
with each passing day."
The night of Shab-e-Barat rolled on. It was a beautiful and calm night. Yahyah, Yazdan and Zul offered their Isha prayers at the mosque, bid Raeef and a few others they had come to know, a good night before walking back home. Rain had subsided and the sky was clear. The stars glimmered and Yazdan found himself content. He had called his mother that afternoon and talked to her for a good hour. She missed him and so did he. But they knew that Yahyah needed Yazdan with him right now. Perhaps something else toO but he didn't dare state that.
As he set in his room on the dark purple and lavender prayer mat of his, his mind wandered to his decision. Should I do it? He wanted answers but at the same time, he was afraid of the answers. And what if the answers were something he didn't wish? But Allah (S.W.T) is the best of planners! If it is His will, then nothing can stop it and if it isn't, nothing can make it happen. Okay save for Dua.
"Let's do this, Yaz. Now or never" he muttered before he stood up for his Istikhara prayer. He had been delaying it a lot lately and now, he cannot do so anymore. He prayed a two rakaa Istikhara prayer before making Dua.
Oh Allah, please guide me.
Oh Allah, my Imaan is low, please help me.
Oh Allah, you have always been there for me.
Oh Allah, do not let me go astray.
Oh Allah, please tell me if Aanabia is the one. The last one was the whole reason why he was in this position. Supplicating and praying that his lord helps him through this.
Allah, I see her and things go wild in me. It is something..... different. Different and beautiful. I like the feeling. But oh Allah, what would I do if she is not meant to be mine? What if my heart gets attached to what is not meant to be mine? Oh Allah, this is what I pray and ask you, please, please do not let my heart be attached to something that I cannot have.
With a few supplications, he ended his duaa. He smiled into his hands as he felt hot tears running down his face. He didn't even know why he was crying!
"Time to pray for my family" he whispered to himself before standing up to pray Nafil prayers. He hoped he would get an answer soon.
Monday was a beautiful day. Yazdan woke up at around 10am, after having gone to sleep at around 5am after Fajr. He had read Quraan, specifically Surah Rahman and Khaf. He loved the two surah's a lot. He used to read them back at home a lot.
"As salaam alaikum" he smiled at the familiar faces at the breakfast table. By the looks of it, they had woken up just now too. Zul didn't look happy to be up so early though.
"What do you boys want?" said Zaiha, putting the dishes on the table.
"I want sleep. Can I go sleep please?" Zul whined and Zaiha sighed.
YOU ARE READING
The Blueprint of His Heart.Spiritual
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