Melt My Frozen Heart - 20

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We stood there for what felt like hours. I felt the huge lump in my throat swell up even more, making me feel like I was suffocating. I mutely tugged on his hand that still held my own as i lead him to my room, closing and locking the door behind me before I released his hand, going over to my bed to sit down at the edge of the mattress. He followed suit, taking a seat next to me. 

He absently picked my hand up and placed it on his lap, letting his finger doodle on the palm of my hand. "Why?" he repeated his question. 

I shook my head, looking down at the ground as I felt little pricks on my eyes. "It...hurted. To see them together. It hurt to see him break his promise. It hurt to see him kiss her...hug her...laugh with her...It just hurt."

He was silent, not saying a word as he continued drawing on my hand. "So you turned to cutting yourself?"

I shrugged, not letting myself speak. But his eyebrow squished together, his face slowly gaining a red color. 

"How could you be so stupid?" He exploded, turning on me to glare at me. I turned my glare right back at him, ignoring the sharp stab of pain in my chest. 

"What the hell do you mean?" I asked him, venom dripping off my words. 

"Why would you cut yourself, huh? You had all of us. You had me. You had Colt. Hell, you even had Dylan, Hayley, Kaipo and Brayden. Why the hell didn't you talk to us or say anything?"

"Because i didn't want to!" I shouted at him, tears starting to form at my eyes. "I've been giving you guys all crap since I arrived. Why would I want to burden you guys even more with my damn depressing thoughts. Hell, look at where Ryder is now. He used to be one of your guy's best friends. And now he's ignoring you guys because you all refuse to stop talking to me when he said that he thought it would be best to go our separate ways so that you all could go back to how it was before I came around."

"Don't you get it Rose?" he asked, his voice dropping to a low tone. "We stayed with you because we wanted to. We wanted to be your friends. And friends want to help each other out, no matter how stupid or depressing or whatever. We just want to help you." 

I gave a harsh laugh. "So now I'm stupid for being depressed?"

He growled. "Not what I meant."

"Too bad!" I shouted, crossing my arms over my chest. "You can't take back what you fucking said. Just like how Ryder can't take back what he promised me or what he did to me."

He stared at me with a blank look before he laughed darkly. "You're such a selfish person, Rose. This whole time, you've been thinking only about yourself. Have you ever thought about what we feel, huh? How it hurts us to see you like this? How it hurts us to see you ignore us because of what Ryder did to you? How it-"

"Shut up! I know I'm just a selfish bitch. I don't get why you insist on being friends with a selfish, stupid, depressed girl. If you don't want to be my friend, then just fucking leave!" 

I panted a bit, anger still coursing through my veins as we glared at each other. 

"Fine," he whispered harshly, standing up and leaving the room quickly, slamming the front door shut behind him. I quickly felt my anger dissipate as regret and sorrow start to fill me. I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it, sobbing hysterically as I realized just exactly what I've done.

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