Virgil/Logan | Sanders Sides [One-Shots]

[114] - Overdue Confession

Warnings: anxiety, uncomfortableness, hurt/comfort? No? Uncomfortable/comfort?

Summary: logan is asexual, virgil doesn't know, and logan clearly should've told him long before now

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Logan was a bit unsure how they had ended up kissing on Virgil's bed. Well, this wasn't the first time they had occupied themselves in such a way, but there was definitely something different about this time, and Logan tired to focus on returning Virgil's kisses and not think too much about where this would most likely lead.

Even if Logan normally loves kissing Virgil he cannot deny the growing unease he is feeling. Normally he loves Virgil's touch, but at the moment he is uncomfortable with the intentions of Virgil's hands as they pull slightly at his shirt.

Logan has definitely realized it is well past the time when he should've told Virgil he's asexual. He should've told him months ago when they first got together, but he hadn't dared to. Maybe it was selfish, but Logan had not wanted to give Virgil a reason to break up with him so soon, not after all the months of him pining over the anxious side.

Sadly it had definitely not gotten any easier to tell him since then, for several reasons. One being the fact that the longer they were together the more scared Logan got of losing him. Virgil was so terribly precious to Logan, he almost felt as if he'd be lost without him despite the fact that they'd only been dating for a couple of months.

Naturally the logical sense in Logan told him that of course Virgil wouldn't be terrible about Logan's sexuality. They were both part of Thomas, and therefore supported the same things as he did. And yet he could not rid himself of his worry, however misguided it was. He was beginning to sympathize a lot with Virgil's anxiety over illogical things.

It was first when Virgil broke the kiss and pulled back that Logan realized he'd grabbed a hold of Virgil's wrists. He hadn't meant to, it'd been a reflex. Logan opened his eyes and met Virgil's worried gaze, letting go of him quickly. His heart was beating uncomfortably hard in his chest.

"Lo?" He said quietly and Logan took a trembling breath. He pushed Virgil away as gently as he could, getting out of bed on slightly too shaky legs. He took several steps away until he found himself leaning against a wall, trying to keep his breathing under control. He definitely should not have let this proceed this far.

"Logan, hey, are you alright?" He heard Virgil's quiet steps as he walked up to Logan, and he turned towards his slightly disheveled boyfriend who was looking more than a little worried now.

"I- uh. Perhaps." Logan pushed his glasses up with a slightly trembling hand, trying to will himself into quit being such a wimp. The last thing he wanted was to heighten Virgil's anxiety in any way.

"Logan, please. Just tell me what's wrong." Virgil pleaded, carefully cupping Logan's face in his hands and staring into his eyes as if he hoped he'd be able to read Logan's mind. There was no way for Logan to get out of telling Virgil he was asexual now.

He didn't want this to happen again. He knew he couldn't lie to Virgil and tell him he was fine, Virgil would see right through him ...and also Logan would feel bad.

"I'm... I am..." Logan started, having kept it pretty much a secret for so long that it was slightly hard to say out loud, though what kept him from speaking was definitely mostly the fact that he didn't want to disappoint or upset Virgil. Logan was well aware of the fact that Virgil would be upset even if he had nothing against his asexuality, he would still be upset that Logan hadn't told him sooner.

"Asexual." He finally said, forcing it out because he was being ridiculous, he knew that. Logan deeply wished he'd told Virgil much sooner, then he wouldn't be in this situation now.