That Love ➳ l.t.&e.c.

34. That Death

Eleanor

I switch on the tv, a bright red 'X' taking over, the theme tune starting up. I bit my lip, pondering over whether this was a good idea or not. I haven't seen Louis since we had our big fight, nearly three weeks ago, and since then, he's hardly been in school, due to his back and forthing to London.

I bit my lip as I watch contestant after contestant appear and dissappear from me screen, some sad, walking home with "no"'s, some happy, for the opposite reason. An hour into the ninety minute programme, I was starting to frown, wondering if maybe he had chickened out, when Dermot O'Leary's voice boomed through my speakers, 

"And the next hopeful contestant is about to take on the biggest challenge of his life,"

"What's your name?" Simon asked, as I locked around my bedside table, searching for the remote,

"Louis Tomlinson," the beautiful Doncaster accent I fell for speaks sweetly and softly

I throw me head up, smacking it against the table in the process

A beam spreads across my face as his sweet melodic tone fills my ears, the words of the Plain White T's escaping his parted lips. Tears spring to my eyes, some leaking out, some staying unshed as I fold my lips into my mouth, biting down on them. After he's finished, his four yes's accomplised, he speaks up softly,

"I'd like to dedicate this to the most important person in my life," he whispers

My breathe hitches in my throat, wondering if this is how he will try and win me back, wondering if he'll announce it, dedicate the song to me, and then get a train back and wrap me in his arms,

"Who's that then love?" Cheryl asks, her eyes glossy with tears,

"Mah girlfriend, Hannah," he smiles, his eyes clouded over with adoration

My mouth parts slightly, a small lump forming as I choke out the tears that arise to my emotions. Girlfriend. So glad he's moved on so first,

"That's lovely sweetheart, how long have you been together?"

"Two and a half weeks," he smiles

The statement makes my sobs increase as I chuck the remote and the television screen, a crack spreading across it. I flop myself onto my bed, sobbing desperatley as i lift my left hand to my eye, to wipe away a tear. When my hand won't budge, panic sets in across my body, my breathing becoming edgy and uneven as I begin sobbing faster, trying desperatley to move any part of my body, though the only one that will even move itself slightly is my head, feet and neck. The rest of my body is completely paralysed. I lay on my bed, in my house alone, paralysed, no way of getting out, my window closed

I panic, wondering what to do. They always teach you what to do in an emergency, but never when you can't move in an emergency 

I try and move my body, using my head to tug it over, but only reach a few inches before I am completely breathless. I see my ouse phone lying on my bedside table from where I was talking to Dani earlier. 

I push my head to the side, trying to get myself off the bed, panic setting in as my feet begin to tire. I fail to comprehend how unlikely this is to succeed and continue on, my breaths racing as I finally, afte rten minutes, end up toppling onto the floor, causing my whole body to ache. I subside my sobs momentarily as I smash my head against the bed side table, in hope that the phone will fall off. The part I failed to think through, was the fact the table would fall on me. Which it did. 

I let out a loud wail as the hard wood crimpled my body under its weight, the phone flying off to the side slightly

I sob, letting the hot tears stream down my cheeks as I try and edge to the phone, the drawers still laying on my back. I finally reach it, which helps my sobs subside slightly

I feel my vision clouding as my head starts to blacken dully. Panic aches through my veins as I fail to breathe accordingly. I poke my tongue out, tapping the number 9, 3 times, pressing the diall number

"999 what's your emergency,"

"Help," I croak, my vision slowly growning darker and darker,

"Miss? Miss, where are you?"

"I need he-" that's the last thing I remember before my sight goes black, my heads smashes off the ground, and a red liquid oozes from my school, my body crushing under the hard wood of my table

Louis

Tears dropped down my cheeks as I bit my lip, begging myself not to break down in front of everyone. Funerals weren't my scene, I prefered to grieve in peace, on my own, but that wasn't going to happen today. Normally i skip funerals, but this one was different. This one was hers. More tears threatened to leak through my tear ducts as I inhaled sharply,

"I'm sorry," an old aged woman places her hand on my arm, "I know you were close, you and your g-,"

"Please," I interrupted her, "Please don't,"

Author's Note

Hiya petals x

So I know I haven't been on in ages and I just wanted to talk about a few things? So if you don't want to read my rambling, just skip down to the ***** and thats the end of my rant x

So basically, I have been getting a lot of hate and at first I was going to refrain from saying the name of the person, but there is one person and they only joined wattpad recently, idk if its an old hater with a new account of what but they have been sending me a lot of hate, but not just hating, telling me to kill myself and that i should hurt myself etc. and i just want to say, not just to this person but to everyone who thinks its okay to tell someone that they should terminate themselves: You have no right, absolutely no right to tell me or anyone else that i should end my life. Whatever disgusting, foul human says something like that is an absolute friging disgrace and tbh if you do say that, in any form, you are a killer. People don't seem to be able to comprehend the fact that words can kill. For all you know I could be mentally unstable and you could send me off the edge and I could kill myself, and that would have been your fault, you would have to live with knowing that you ended my life because your an insensitive bastard (scuse me petals x) And I'm not just talking about me, theres loads of people who have it way worse than I do but anyways, the main person who has been giving me hate is @onedirectionismybaes and I wasn't going to name, but I'm sorry I'm not going to protect some troll who has nothing better to do with her time then send me hate so there. 

**********Anyways, I apologise for this rant, I am not back for good but I will try and update next week but it's uncertain. 

I really really love ye petals, and idk what i'd do without ye

Also, follow my instagram, it's my personal it's @/laugh_loud_love_big so if you go check out my instagram, and your one of my wattpad petals, leave a comment on any photo saying "petal x" and i'll know your one of my petals and I'll follow u and spam u bcus i love u guys and yay x

Love ye petals,

Niamh xxx