𝑨 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑻𝒐 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑽𝒐𝒊𝒅 [ 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑑 ]

𝐷𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑆𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑀𝑒

You need to know that there are times when I wouldn't be in my usual self and there would be times when I just want to sit there, on that cold pavement, in a deafening silence. You need to know that sometimes I would be really messy and very hard to deal with. And sometimes, I just want to wander and get lost in this world. I just want to sit in my car and run across a highway without knowing where it leads. I just want to swim into the deepest ocean and would even wish that it would be nicer if I'll have feet cramps. I just want to stay in a forest, me, being surrounded with tall trees while listening to the sounds of the insects around me. Sometimes, I just want to erase all the connections that I have. And darling, sometimes I just want to be isolated from this world. I just want to trudge in a cosmic storm without you pulling me back. I just want to disappear like a bubble. I have this urge to just disappear into thin air because perhaps, that's when I can finally breathe. Perhaps, that's when I can finally sing a lullaby. If I'll disappear, perhaps I can now smile genuinely.

So if the hour would come and you'd know that my soul is missing, please don't search for my orbs. Please just lay on your bed, don't mind me and don't act as if you're Superman. Don't look for me. Don't save me, because being lost makes me happy. Singing in the eye of a storm makes me giddy. If one day, you'll realise that I'm gone, don't find me because I will be up there on the moon, dancing with my demons. I will be up there, hopping on top of the stars. I will be up there watching and counting constellations. I will be up there feeling the love that I hadn't felt. I will be up there, writing a poem about how I fought against the dullness of the world. So if I'll be missing, consider me dead, lying on a million rainbow-colored marshmallows.