Day At The Office, by YvonneKindle

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The arson investigator stared at me. "So, you're saying that you and Bob were having an innocent conversation about lunch when some kind of portal opened and out popped some little green men? And, that's when the fire started?"

"No, they weren't little green men. They were big blue ones. And, again, no, that is not when the fire started." I sighed. I swear, this investigator is as dumb as a post.

"So, tell me again what happened."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Okay..."

~~~

"So, what did you think of the sandwich, Bob?"

"Oh, man, you were totally right! Out of this world. Look, I even bought a snack." Bob, a good-natured, rather rotund man, held up a white paper bag. It already had a spot of grease on it; the sandwich shop wasn't skimpy on their homemade sandwich oil.

"Glad you liked it." I spun around in my seat, going back to my screen. I was currently working in a very colorful, yet very boring, excel spreadsheet, desperately wishing something interesting would happen on a Friday afternoon.

In the background, I heard the familiar sound of the swoosh-squeak-door-noise of a door on the Enterprise NCC 1701.

Wait. What?

I turned around only to see three armed blue men, all in red uniforms, emerging from a yellow rimmed portal of some kind. They pointed their weapons at Bob, who was beginning to take a bite of his snack, dripping oil all over his desk.

"Step away from the sandwich!" one of the blue men shouted. I supposed that he had some kind of translator on him.

Bob froze, sandwich raised halfway to his mouth. Drip, drip, drip.

"I said, step away!" He stepped toward Bob menacingly.

Bob did the only thing he could... he dropped the sandwich and ran toward me.

I'd expected the blue men to track Bob with their weapons, but they didn't. Instead, they were much more interested in the sandwich. Surely, they hadn't punched an interdimensional hole in order to come get a sandwich. I mean, the place was good, but, really?

Besides, if they wanted one, why bully Bob for his?

"We've got the sandwich isolated," I heard another of the red-clad men say.

"You've got the go ahead. Destroy it."

~~~

"So, they blasted the sandwich and the damned thing caught on fire. Nothing they did put out that oil. But, honestly, we didn't realize there was real trouble until the blue men caught on fire and started to melt. That's when we ran."

"So, you're saying the blue goo with red fibers we found is actually melted aliens?"

"That's what I'm sayin'."

"And, that's how the fire started?"

"That's how the fire started."

The arson investigator stared at me for a heartbeat. "That's the dumbest story I've ever heard. Everyone knows not to send an entire away team in red to go do anything," the investigator said before motioning to one of the officers. "Arrest this man for arson."

"But, I didn't start the fire!"

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