Different reasons.

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He's to the end of a great book or what it seems to be. Trust me there's more stories to come already have many in my works.
I also had some inspiration to this chapter so shoutout to you for helping you know who you are.


I sat at my desk. I knew it was time to go, I've said that to myself over a million times, but this time I knew for sure it was real. I'm tired, I'm just so very tired. My parents pissed me off, like today wasn't bad enough. I went to go get the rope, because I was just that desperate to leave. I'm ready, I guess I thought about it as some game. The first one dead is the one that wins. No ones home. Like always.... It's the perfect time I'm ready, if I don't do it now I'm just going to look down on myself even more forever. I'm going to hate myself even more. No one knows, no one will know, until later on. Instead of getting a paper and a pen, I got the video camera along with a chair... in standing on the chair now I will be gone instantly and there will be no noise. One side of the rope is tied to the top of my fan, while the other is already around my neck. I'm in tears and I know it's for real this time, I can feel it... I turn on the video camera and stare at that red light blinking upon my eyes. I start to mumble out a few words.

"Mom and dad, I'm sorry I don't know why but I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore. I-i don't even know who I am anymore. I've lost myself, and it seems that I'm not able to find my way back. Please don't blame yourself please. I love you both. Please tell Joey the same. Stay strong and stay safe. I'll see you all soon. I'm sorry, Emily, Rylee, Grace, even Sage. I'm sorry I won't be there even when you need me the most. I'm sorry, aaron. For leading you on even though I did like you, just not when you liked me back. I'm sorry Nash. Your the best boyfriend I could ever ask for and I hope you find someone, better than I was. Which seems pretty easy. And I'm sorry, to myself, for not being strong anymore. I'm sorry for breaking down. I'm sorry for putting you guys threw so much pain in your life." I stare once again at that red light blinking upon my eyes. One foot is off the chair now. As I begin to mouth out the word 'Goodbye' I have the remote in my right hand to turn off the camera. My pointer finger on the off button already. I click that button, and as soon as I see that red light go off. I go off. Both feet are now off the chair, that chair is on the floor. The room is filled with silence. I'm dead. I'm gone, there's no going back, everything is over. I don't have to live in pain anymore, but everyone else will. What are my parents going to think? What about my older brother? What are they going to do? I'm gone, I'm dead. There's no going back. I ended my life.

My parents are home now. They call my name telling me they're home. Something's different, I don't answer. They don't hear my voice. They get worried, I always answer. They come upstairs, thinking I'm sleeping or showering. My mom opens my bedroom door and screams at the top of her lungs. She Instantly passes out. Joey hears her and comes up after her. He screams, "DAD HELP!" He runs over hitting my leg begging me to wake up. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! PLEASE STOP! WAKE UP!" But I don't answer, I'm not waking up I'm gone I'm dead there's no waking up! There's no going back! My dad comes running up the stairs and all he can do is stare. He's watches his baby girl swing back and forth on a rope. He sees the video camera and he sees the chair but he doesn't move. He's stiff as a board. He crys. And my dad never crys. He picks up the phone and calls 911.

"My Daughter committed suicide." were the words that came out his mouth. He's in tears. Joey stares at our dad. He hangs up and joey went and hugged him. Crying harder than ever. Everything is over, the cops finally arrive. They take my mom out of my room, they push dad and Joey out. And now they're sitting in the living room. They take my body off the rope and lay it on the stretcher. The cover my body and out I go. Just like that. In a blink of an eye everything happened and everything was over. I'm gone I'm dead there's no going back nothing is the same.



Two months have passed and my mom stares out the window more and more every day. Joey still hasn't done anything and my dad was forced to go to work to pay off all the bill for my wake my Funeral. Eventually they found the strength to go back into my room. My door hasn't been opened. The rope is still laying on the floor the same place the cops put it. And the video camera is still sitting on the table. They don't even dare to watch that video. It will never be seen..... They slowly pick up the rope and throw it in the garbage. Joey runs up spying. They brush off my bed making it neat like they used to do every morning after I went to school. My desk was empty it didn't have those little sticky notes I used to leave before I ran to the bus saying

'Have a good day mom remember to smile. '


'Have fun at work dad:)'

I pretended to be so happy. I even tricked my self my bed was made and my room was clean. They shut the door and it remained shut. My school is still in distressed. I thought no one cared I thought no one noticed me. That girl that said not to bring my lab partner, yeah she cuts every single night now because she thinks it's her fault that you died. And that boy that tripped me by accident looked at me and just didn't say sorry. Yeah he's in suicidal therapy five day a week in the hospital because he feels a smile could have saved my life and he didn't give that to me. I'm gone. I'm dead. There's no going back.



Four years have passed now. Nash is in college now. He started a club. It's in my school dedicated to me. 'Secrets' is what he calls it. The club is formed for kids to speak their hearts and not be judged. They could say anything they wanted to and talk about anything they needed too. If they were suicidal they always had someone to talk to.

Rylee is engaged to Shawn with their four year old daughter Lacey. Rylee teaches as a day care teacher when she can watch over her daughter 24/7.

Grace move back to her home town in Louisiana to be with her crush since 5th grade.

Emily is now dating Hayes. And even though he's still younger than her he loves the fact that he can still be a child.

Joey got engaged to some local girl name mahogany.

Sage moved onto bigger and better things becoming a movie star and teaches other how to open up and talk.

That was my problem. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I had everything bottled inside of me. I acted as if I were the happiest kid on the planet and I acted as if I had the perfect life. I played that happy charter, so well. That even I started to believe it. I would be so happy all day and as soon as I laid in bed that night the thoughts came back. I little fight between my parents and I could have set me off. But with everything inside of my bottled inside for years I just hit my limits. I'm gone. I'm dead. There's no going back. My room will never be occupied. My mom still cries every single night. My dad isn't as strong as he used to be. Joey will never grow up with me by his side supporting him. My best friends are still torn up. They needed me. Nash is a mess. He can't sleep at night. He needs me and I left. My parents needed me. My school now has a club dedicated to me so teens will not make the same mistake as I did. My life was precious and I took it away in the blink of an eye. All I needed was a smile. That's all I needed to show me that everything will be alright. But since I'm gone just know people care. People always have cared and people always will care. I was just way to upset to see that back then. I was just too caught up in the fact that I thought no one cared. When the truth was more people cared about me than I I ever thought they would. And you know what sucks. It sucks that I see that now that I'm gone. And I didn't see that when I was still here. My town will never be the same. A girl is gone. A special girl a girl who thought no one cared everyone cared. But now. I promise everyone cared. They always have cared and they always will care they loved me and no matter what they will still always love me. But than again I'm gone. I'm dead. there's no going back.





Stay Nashty


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