Chapter 65

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-later on at night-
I was alone tonight. My sister was at a friends house sleeping over leaving me in our room alone. I was scared of Darren coming in and touching me or something and soon my worst fears were true. I hear the door open and keep my eyes closed in case it was Darren. I feel warm hands on me, "Lizzy." It was my boyfriend Alex. My eyes shoot open and widen as I see him standing in front of my closed door, "Alex are you crazy?!" I whisper yell but get up and pull him towards my bed, "Lizzy I'm sorry I just...wanted to see you." He says giving me a small smile. I return it and kiss him, "you can't stay all night okay? If my stepdad sees you he'll kill you." I say to him. He nods as he gets into bed with me and we cuddle and make out for a while. He begins to get on top of me and we begin to kiss more, "Lizzy..." Alex mumbles against my ear as his hands begin to run up my sides and to my breasts where he felt my hardening nipples, "Alex," I whispered with a small gasp. I pull him closer and we begin to kiss each other harder, "Are you a virgin?" He asks me. I shake my head no and he nods as he lifts my shirt slowly. "Lizzy!" I hear my stepdad say from behind the closed door, "what?" I ask him. The door opens and he sees Alex on top of me and his face turns red with anger, "sir, I-it's not-" "get the fuck out of my house." He says to him angrily. Alex gets off me and rushes past Darren and out the door. Once he's out Darren shuts the door and glares at me, "as for you slut, you must be punished." He says angrily as he begins to unbuckle his pants and my eyes widen, "no, please it won't happen again I promise-" "too late for that Lizzy." He says getting on top of me and pushing me onto the bed pulling off my shorts roughly as his hands begin to touch me, "n-no p-please stop..." I plead as he fingers me, "take it and like it cunt, you were about to take it from him you can take it from me." He says as he fingers me. I begin to cry and Darren hits me.
I wake up in panic and tears. Another fucking nightmare. I'm shaking and sobbing. I feel hands on mine and I open my eyes to see Abel looking at me, "it's okay it's okay..." he repeated, "I-I'm sorry I-" "baby it's okay..." he says to me pulling me into a hug. I cry into his shirt and he rubs my back, "You're okay Carmen I promise..." Abel says kissing my forehead as I cry into his chest, "this hasn't happened in a while, are you okay?" He asks me as he rubs my back. I shake my head no and look up to kiss him, "I need you baby, don't leave me." I say to him tears running down my cheeks. He holds me for a bit until I stop crying and we eventually fall asleep together again. When i wake up the next morning I'm alone. I know Abel wouldn't go far so I wasn't too worried. I thought about Abel and thought about what happened with Chase in Sweden and wondered if I should tell him about it. We didn't finish anything or do anything and I felt like I should tell him, I could be having these dreams because I felt a bit guilty about it. I almost slept with him and I felt like shit about it. A feel a slight weight on the bed causing me to jump and turn around to see Abel, "sorry Car I didn't mean to-" "it's okay babe don't worry about it." I say turning to him, "are you feeling better?" He asks me raking his fingers gently through my hair. I nod and look away from him then back to him, "I didn't have anymore dreams..." I say to him, "why do you think you had this one?" He asks me pushing my stray hairs out of my face. I stay quiet for a bit, "Lizzy please fucking tell me..." Abel says. I hesitate again biting my lip, "Chase came with me to Sweden, you must know that by now..." I say to him, "I'm still fucking mad you didn't tell me about that either but whatever." He mumbles, "when we were hanging out Chase came into my room after I took a shower and kissed me, while I was naked, he was dressed but I felt him. Abel all I could think about was you we stopped quickly and didn't go farther than that Abel I'm so sorry I couldn't stop thinking about it." I say to him looking up at Abel slowly, hoping he wouldn't care. Abel was hurt for sure, as if I did have sex with Chase. "Abel I love you." "Then try keeping it in your fucking pants." He tells me as he gets off the bed and goes into the living room, "Abel," I call after him as I get out of bed following him into the living room, "Abel where are you going?" I ask him, "to the fucking studio." He barks at me. I grab his arm pulling him to me, "you're going to fucking stay with me right?" I ask him, "maybe I don't know yet." He says back angrily. I let him go and go back to our room laying in bed. I didn't know what else to do I love him so much I just, I just don't fucking know.
-Around 6-
I wake up once again to hear rattling around in my kitchen. I grab Abel's gun going to the doors to the stairs. I open one of the doors slowly and look through the crack but just see Abel causing me to relax. I put Abel's gun away and get dressed going into the kitchen where Abel was rustling, "Abel what's wrong?" I ask him, "so much is fucking wrong Lizzy, you know that." He slurs out, "Abel?" He pauses and turns to me, "what?!" He yells at me. I look him over and see he's disheveled, his eyes red and his hair and clothes all fucked up, "what did you do?" I say shocked, "same thing you'd do I guess, get fucking wasted." He says angrily at me as I examine my boyfriend's state. He seems high and drunk concerning me. He said he's been off drugs forever, "baby what are you doing?" I ask him worriedly. "Being like you!" He yells, "baby you just- you gave up years of being clean," I say to him, "well at least I forgot for 2 hours that my girlfriend that I've loved for fucking 9 years is still fucking around on me! Lizzy I can't do this anymore!" He yells at me, "Abel please stop-" "I'm not going to fucking stop Lizzy I'm so fucking done!" He yells pushing me onto our bed angrily, "Abel baby stop please..." I beg him as I get up and pull Abel into my arms. He's still tense and hostile but I kiss his neck lovingly trying to show him I cared, "please Abel, I'm not going to do it again I promise." I say, "you're fucking lying! You always fucking lie!" "I promise Abel." I say looking into his eyes, "baby..." I whisper placing my hand on his cheek and pulling him into a kiss, "I love you." I say to him. He looks into my eyes and then pushes me down onto the bed gently and collapses on top of me falling asleep almost immediately. I hold him and soon fall asleep with him. I wake up with Abel and look to him to see he's asleep. I try to pull away from him without waking him up but his arms tighten slightly around me, "Lizzy..." he whimpers. I sigh and relax holding him again. After a while Abel's fully awake, "I'm sorry again babe..." I say to him rubbing his back. I feel Abel nod, "I hope you're telling the truth now Lizzy, I hope you're not going to fuck around anymore." he mumbles kissing my cheek, "I won't I promise." I say to him. He sighs and kisses me.

Carmen | Lana Del Rey x The Weekend |Read this story for FREE!