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"Dr. Larazabal. Can I talk to you?" Donny and I meet each other's gaze at sabay kami tumingin sa kanya.

"Is it urgent or what?" I asked Rivero.

"No. Just personal matters. I just need your opinion on this. Bro, is it okay?" Donny eyed me asking if it's okay with me.

"I'm okay with it. You?" I needed this to figure things right and end this mess finally. I shouldn't just wait for things to fall perfectly. I also have to do something. So tumango ako.

We headed to the basement right away. I don't know where we're going but one thing's for sure, I'm safe when I'm with him. The road looks familiar and when we reached there. Everything went back.

The place where it all started. I moved out long time ago but he is still staying here.

My heart.

It's beating so fast.

I just followed his steps only to see it's heading to my old condo.

"You bought this?" Curiosity filled me.

"Yes." Walang salitang lumabas sa bibig ko.

"I have a question." Aniya na may dalang san mig and a pack of cigarette.

Umupo ako sa labas. Dito kasi lahat nagsimula eh. Dito yun nabuo. Dito kami nag uusap. Dito lahat.

Akala ko wala na, meron pa pala.

"There's this guy who found a girl who he thought he was gonna marry and have a future with her but then few days before their wedding he cancelled it. Is he gago for doing that? He thinks he'd be lying to himself if he'd continue it." Is he referring to himself or?

"Well for me, he is really gago. Why plan for something extravagant only to cancel it last minute? Diba? We're talking about feelings here. But what's the guy's reason for cancelling it?" I saw him drank before he composed himself again.

"Well he has a lot of reasons and one of that is you." Agad ako napatingin sa kanya. I knew it.

"Why, me?" I also need answers.

"You made him fall for you too deep that in every girl he meets, he just wants another you and that's impossible you know that."

"But I fucked it up. He should be seeing the best girl. I wasn't the better one either. All I did is mess around with what he feels for me." I drank the beer he handed me a while ago. I didn't know this was hard, talking to someone who made you feel an all in kind of love. 

"That's the thing. He wants messy. He wants spontaneity. He doesn't settle for less but he realized that he wants to settle with less as long as it's with you." My lacrimal glands is slowly betraying me.

"Why do you want me so bad? Why do you always want to put up with me?" I don't even know if I deserve him after everything I put him through. No one can be tanga like this.

"It's your eyes that lits when you're excited and surprised. It's your nose when you're scratching it while studying. It's your eyebrows that meets when you don't know anything and you're trying to figure things out. It's your lips that smiles when you're happy and everything is just beautiful but most important of all is that it's when you're working your ass off 24/7 studying just to get good grades, it's when you take care of my sick ass, it's when you call me babe and I just want to hear it over and over again, it's when you take my hand and holds it tight when you're nervous, it's how you understand me and who's always there for me without me asking you, it's when your inner responsible self comes in, it's when you make me feel calm and it's when you made me think of marriage and I always think of you at the end of the aisle. It's always you I think. I just want to be successful with you. I hope you consider me, too."

"You're making me speechless." Truth be told.

"I'm not saying I want to be with you right now right away. Heck, I don't even know if you're single. I don't know anything about you now and everything seems new to me, how we matured and how things changed. I just want to tell you that you still got me."

"Will you wait for me?" our eyes met at umiling ito ng dahan dahan.

"I know you hate waiting. Let's just see where everything goes?" I smiled at that. Hanggang ngayon, alam nya pa din.

"Date anyone you meet and I'll do the same. When time comes we'd see each other and we're both mentally and physically okay then let's try again." I muttered.

Hindi naman ako nagmamadali. Ayoko magmamadali lalo na pag alam ko pag ibig ang pinaguusapan at puso ko ang itataya.


The end is near. Baka next chap epilogue na charot lang.

Ricci Rivero, MD Where stories live. Discover now