BELLAMY:
Clarke had been staring at the dead body for minutes now, without as much as a word. Her breathing didn't show any signs of slowing down and she stood in complete silence. I wanted to say something. My throut was dry and raspy and I couldn't make out a word. Even if I could, I wouldn't know what to say to her. The image of her as she ruthlessly killed Collin flashed my mind but I rushfully pushed it away as I also knew she did it for me. This is my fault. She killed him because of me. And yes, he was a phsycopath but she killed him because of me. She doesn't move or budge from her spot and I became genuinly worried. I had never seen her like this before. Blood covered her hands, but it wasn't from healing the wounded. Her eyes were emotionless, but it wasn't because she was tired. Her body stood still, but it wasn't because she was scared. It was because she killed someone because of me. Again.
"Clarke?" my voice was almost unaudible, it sounded raspy and weak. I cleared my throut and tried again. This time it came out louder but it still sounded weak and pityful. She didn't turn around to look at me. It didn't even look like she registered my voice at all. She looked rather...shut down. Out of order. Broken.
I steadied myself with my hands and leaned against the dropship wall. It was cold and it sent shivers down my spine, just like the tension in this room did. I tried my feet but they failed and I fell to the ground again.
"Clarke, will you look at me?" I pleaded her. She hadn't moved or said anything in the last 30 minutes or so. Then suddently she moved her body in my direction and smiled a uneasy and insecure smile.
"Are you feeling better?" she said in the sweetest tone possible like she needed to be worried about ME.
"uuhm, yeah.." I replied and narrowed my eyes at her. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, I am fine" she looked at me with no emotion left in her face. Then she looked back at the lifeless body on the cold, bloodstained dropship floor. She sighed loudly and said;
"I'll find someone who can clean up this mess"
She started to walk towards the exit and my heart was booming against my chest. What the fucking hell just happened?
"Clarke!" My feet didn't fail me this time and I stood up against the wall before I slowly made my way towards her. I didn't know what to say. What should I have said? She acted so much colder and heartless than I ever thought she was capable of. She wasn't acting like Clarke anymore. This person was acting like she didn't just stab a guy, and it made me nervous.
"What?" she asked me once I reached her. Her voice was changed. It sounded too sweet. Too innocent.
"Are we gonna pretend like that did not just happened?" I asked her harshly.
"You're right... We should have a moment of silence for him at least. Tonight. We gather everyone in the main square and throw a pity party for the dead" then she turned on her heel and exited the dropship without as much as a glance back at the guy she just killed. I didn't know what to do. I was still stunned by her unhumanly words. A pity party for the dead. That was so not like Clarke. What is happening to her?
Moments later, two guys entered. They looked from me to the dead body behind me.
"Clarke told us what happened...I really didn't see it coming" One of them said with a calm and friendly and almost pityfull voice. Why is he pitying the guy? What did Clarke tell them?
"We were friends...I thought he was doing fine... I mean, it seemed like it" I hear the other guy say at they walked towards the very dead Collin.
"Yeah, it's fucking tragic man... I'm sorry" they comforted each other as I exited the dropship slowly. Clarke stood by Monty and Finn discussing something, it looked like. Both Monty and Clarke were deep in a discussion, but Finn on the other hand, wore a worried expression on his annoying face, observing both Clarke carefully.
