And I found myself beginning to accept it. I was so scared and confused. The man I hated was what my body wanted.
I forced out a smile. He kissed me on the forehead and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. David was the right man for me. He had to be. Hindi siya katulad ni Axel, hindi niya ako paglalaruan, hindi niya ako sasaktan...
Dinala niya ako sa bahay nila pagkatapos naming mamasyal. We had dinner with his parents and he took me home after that. Hininto niya ang kotse at napabuntong-hininga siya. He leaned over to me to give me a kiss pero mabilis kong iniwas ang mga labi ko. He looked at me a bit confused and shocked.
"I-I'm sorry..." Mahinang sabi ko.
He let out a long exhale as he leaned back down to his chair. "What exactly are we?"
"I just... I think we need to take things slowly." Sabi ko.
"Why are you suddenly cold to me when we just made out yesterday?" He frowned.
"Masyadong mabilis ang mga nangyayari. Ayoko lang magmadali." I said. "Sana maintindihan mo..."
He nodded his head. "Yeah, I completely understand." He let out another sigh. "Well, good night."
Nagpaalam na ako sa kanya bago bumaba sa kotse. I went straight to my room and took a bath. I sighed as the tub reminded me of him. I thought of the night when we sat there with me after he had, I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, fucked me. I quickly got out of the tub and dried myself. Lumabas ako ng banyo at nagbihis ng pantulog. I layed in bed and closed my eyes. But even the bed, I couldn't lie on it without thinking of him. He took a piece of me tha I would never get back. And it didn't mean anything to him at all.
I hadn't seen her face in 11 days. Napabuntong-hininga akong sumandal sa upuan ko. Why was I counting the days and when would it stop? I tried to bury myself with work to stop myself from thinking about her but she kept popping in to my head. She's probably fucking David while I think of her right now. That thought made me feel stupid and vulnerable and I hated feeling this way. I wished I could just turn off my mind even just for one fucking minute. Sumasakit na ang ulo ko kaiisip. I downed another glass of brandy and looked around the club. Tonight, I am going to fuck the first girl I see.
"Hey, look who's back." Nakangiting lumapit sa akin si Wayne. "Kamusta ang bakasyon mo?"
"Good." Matipid at walang ngiting sabi ko.
"Kailan ka pa bumalik galing bakasyon?" Seth sat down beside me.
"Magdadalawang linggo na."
"Kagagaling mo lang ng bakasyon pero mukhang stress na stress ka." Wayne said.
"Naipon kasi ang mga trabahong naiwan ko." I answered.
"How's Val?" Wayne stared at me meaningfully.
"Still a fucking brat." I said, shrugging my shoulders.
I poured myself another drink and chugged it down. Sandali pa kaming nag-usap bago may isang babaeng lumapit sa akin.
"Axel!" She smiled and waved at me. She was pretty, tall and slender, with a tiny waist and a pair of pornstar tits. How fucking convenient was that? I swear, I had seen her before but I couldn't remember when 'and who she was.
"Hey, beautiful." I smiled back at her. I'm fucking you tonight, baby
."Do you still remember me? Chelsea!" She said excitedly as she put her hands on her chest. Nagbaba ang tingin ko sa dibdib niya. Damn! Her cleavage was all out.