Chapter Thirty-Seven

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Chapter Thirty-Seven

They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers

In hotel rooms, collecting page six lovers

Get me out of my mind, get you out of those clothes

I'm a letter away from getting you into the mood

The sky was dark, sheets of rain pouring down on us as we all walked into the church. We weren't the first ones to arrive, majority of the audience sitting down in the seats as we entered. My eyes instantly drifted towards the alter, the want to cry coming over me in an instant as I saw two coffins. I had to look away, locking my gaze on the side of Niall's face. It didn't take him long to bury his face into my chest though, his body shaking a little as he cried.

Alex's father stood at the alter, his eyes red and cheeks still stained with tears. He greeted us all, thanking us for joining him.

He talked about them both, about how he met Betty, about how he found out he was going to be a dad. He talked about their ups and downs, but the thing that stuck out the most to me was him asking for forgiveness.

As if any of this was his fault...

It wasn't anyone's fault, except for the man who pulled the trigger.

The service was short and simple, no one was really able to keep it together long enough to say more than a few words. Before I knew it, everyone was walking back out into the rain.

Black umbrellas pointed up towards the sky for those who had them, the occasional person preferred the rain over the safety of the umbrellas. Niall was next to me, his hand clasped in mine as we trailed behind Alex's dad and his sister. The coffin that held him was barely visible in front of us, swarmed with black umbrellas and being pelted with rain.

Niall pulled me away for a second, biting his lip as he tried to calm down his crying.

"You're okay." I whispered, pulling him into my arms. He just shook his head, clutching to my shirt as he cried harder.

"I c-can't do t-this." He sobbed out, his body violently shaking now. I tried to calm him down, rubbing his back as people walked past us. We were getting drenched in the rain, the umbrella I had now sitting on the ground as I held him close.

"Deep breaths baby... Take deep breaths." I said softly, kissing the top of his head. Niall wasn't calming down for a few minutes, everyone leaving us alone in the dust as we stood in the rain. I continued what I was doing though, rubbing his back and whispering that he was going to be okay...

I was trying my hardest to stay strong, but even I wanted to break down.

I couldn't though... Niall needed me to be strong.

So therefore that's what I was going to do.

Eventually Niall did calm down a little, small sniffles escaping his mouth as he stopped sobbing. I pulled back a little, giving him a sad smile as he rubbed at his eyes.

"Do you want to go home? We can stop by later and pay our respects..."

"No... I... I need to do this now. If I don't, I probably won't be able to." I nodded, grabbing his hand as we slowly made our way back to the crowd. Everyone in town had shown up, but then again this was a small town where everyone knew what was going on.

My mum even showed up.

A young girl was walking though the crowd, passing out white roses. She handed one to each indivdual, giving a sad smile before moving onto the next person. I clutched mine a little too hard, the thrones pricking the skin of my palm.

The priest said his words, everyone gave their chorus of amen and he asked anyone if they had anything to say.

There were no more words spoken.

Slowly everyone made their way to the coffins, placing a rose on one of them. Niall and I were the last two to reach the coffins... Niall placed his on Alex's before walking away.

He didn't say anything.

I placed mine on Alex's as well, grimacing as there was a spot of red on my rose.

"I never really did thank you..." I whispered. giving a sad smile at the coffin.

"Thank you. You're the reason why I'm where I'm at today, and I'm sorry that I had to hurt you in the process... You taught me so much Alex, and I'm so sorry I never gave you another chance." A small sob finally made it's way out, my moment of being strong finally ending for just a second. I looked away, unable to handle looking at the wooden coffin. My eyes fell on Niall who was standing off with Alex's dad, talking a little as he nodded his head every now and then.

"You saved him when I couldn't, you kept him safe... You loved him, and I took that away from you... and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you never got to find the one who could make you happy Alex... I'm sorry that you died not knowing what it was like to love and be loved by someone... I owe so much to you, and all I can say is thank you." I looked back at the coffin, running my finger across the rain coated wood.

"Thank you."


I guess you guys can consider this as a double update?

This story is almost over and then were moving onto the third (and final book if you don't count the spinoff)

I feel like I should warn you guys now, the third book is going to contain elements of mpreg (or male pregnancy).

So yeah.

Um... I feel like we should probably discuss the Alex thing and why he died and such... I'm going to save that till next chapter though.






Connie xx

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