If I Die Young

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Chapter 43:

Oliver's Point of View

It's Monday morning and I'm sitting in the front seat of my mom's car. I told her I could walk but she insisted on driving me. I guess she's already forgotten why I hate cars so much.

The sky is a cheery blue and the sun is shining but that doesn't help my mood at all. I still decided to wear a black sweatshirt and gray jeans this morning much against the world's wishes. It wants to make me happy, it wants to cheer me up but there is nothing that can cheer me up and everyone is just going to have to get used to it.

I give my mom a kiss on the cheek before grabbing my bag and getting out of the car. I hunch over so I won't have to see anyone and I walk slowly towards the front doors of the school. The minute I reach the door I almost run into a poster with Beckinsile's face on it and the words "Heaven's gained another angel" underneath it.

I feel my tears and I just push through the front doors of the school. There's a group of girls handing out purple string bracelets by the front office. They offer me one; I accept it and move on.

The whole school seems to be decorated in honor of Beckinsile. There are pictures of her on every locker and other various adornments. I walk upstairs to my math class and am immediately greeted by Fiona. She wraps me in a hug and I can feel her shaking with sobs.

I try to comfort her but there's nothing I can do or say so I just stand there and hold her. I let go and we walk to a pair of desks up front. I look around the classroom at the other faces and I feel like I'm being hit with a truck.

Everyone looks pained, like they're trying to hold all their emotions in. I catch sight of Mr. Meyer and my heart sinks. He looks like he hasn't slept in days. His eyes are red and puffy and he moves so slowly that I have to blink a few times to see if he actually moved.

I look over at Fiona and she has her head on her desk, buried in her arms. I rub her shoulder and I feel my throat choke up a little. I can't do this; I need to go home. I need to bury myself in my bed and mope around for the rest of my life.

I'd begged my parents to let me stay home a little longer but they said it'd be good for me to get out of the house and take my mind off Beckinsile. However, nothing that's happened so far today has helped me in any way. I bite my lip and take my hand off Fiona's shoulder. I hear the ringing of the bell and then our principal's voice comes across the intercom.

"Over spring break our community suffered at great loss. One of our own, Beckinsile Williams was in a car crash and did not make it." I feel the tears prick behind my eyes as he continues his speech."There is nothing I can say to make this any easier on her family, her friends and her peers but she will always be remembered in our hearts and in our minds." That's when I lose it.

I stand up forcefully and walk straight out of the classroom. I slam the door shut and take off running down the hallway. I have no idea where I'm going but I keep moving forward anyways. I run down the stairs and collapse at the foot of them. I sit down near the wall and just cry as the speech continues on.

"We are a strong community...We can survive this. Things will never be the same but we have to remember her for what she was. We have to remember her for all of her achievements and the many people that she's touched with her kind and caring spirit. If we do these things then she didn't die in vain. Beckinsile will always be in our memories. May she rest in peace. I dedicate this moment of silence to her, please stand in recognition of Beckinsile Williams." I stand up and place my hand on my heart.

I can feel the whole school go silent. There's not a sound coming from anywhere near where I am. I take in a deep breath as the moment of silence ends. The principal announces that there will be a vigil held on Friday at the soccer game. My mind shudders at the thought of Gabe having to go out and play at the game after what's happened. The principal ends his speech and tells us all to continue on with our morning.

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