He didn't look up when I had walked in and he didn't say anything either. It wasn't that I didn't expect him to come and see me at some point, but I didn't expect to come home and see this.
Looking over Ben now as I took a few steps closer to him I could see how ruffled his hair was, as if he spent hours running his fingers through them. He wore a dark blue suit that he knew I always loved on him while his white shirt was slightly unbuttoned and he wore no tie. He was still staring at the light in front of him as if mesmerized, but I could see the strain in his face. I watched as his shoulders moved slightly at each inhale and exhale but other than that, he made no movement. No acknowledgement of me being there, but we both knew that he was aware of me.
After a few more silent moments I took a few more steps towards him and softly called out his name.
"Ben? What's going on?"
I had a feeling that I knew exactly what was going on, but I wanted to be wrong. I so wanted to be wrong in this moment.
"Your doorman called up to let me know when you were on your way up. I wanted to somewhat surprise you."
"Well, I didn't expect this. So, I'd say that I'm definitely surprised." I nodded at the lit candles everywhere.
His head turned towards me and at that moment I could see through him. All the emotions and problems that we had been going through for the last few months were written on his face. There was hurt, hesitancy, but determination. I knew in that moment that he was no longer going to be holding back and tonight he came to claim exactly what he wanted.
"I'm upset with you." He said.
After a few moments of us both studying the other, he stood up and walked toward me so we were only inches apart.
"Before I say anything else, I need you to do me a favor." He didn't ask me if I would give him this favor, but after everything that has happened I couldn't deny him this.
He gently reached for both of my hands holding it in between both of his. "I need you to not respond to my question until after the weekend. I need you to think about everything and think of how your life can be with me. Can you do that? Can you really think about it and picture it, not just put it off like you have been?"
I gulped and my mouth instantaneously felt dry. Even if I wanted to respond I don't think that I would have been able to at this point and so I just gave a slight nod of my head.
Gripping my hands slightly tighter he peered down at me. "I need you to verbalize it, please."
Nodding once more, "Okay, I mean, yes I'll think about it before I say anything."
Searching my eyes to see the confirmation of my words he gave a sharp nod of his head before he let out a deep sigh.
"I've been in love with you almost from the moment you stepped foot into my office and it hasn't changed. Five years later and I'm still madly in love with you and what I feel for you has only grown. I knew from the moment you said that you'd be my girlfriend that one day I would want you to be my wife. I don't want any other woman, I want you and only you. I have for four years and I can tell you now that'll never change. I want it to be the two of us for years to come. I want you to be the mother of my children, I want us to be a family together. God, Mia, we just work together. We really do. You get me, you understand me, and I understand you. I know that at times we fight and we disagree, but I don't want to fight with anyone else. I just want it to be you and me."
I choked back a sob, but I could feel tears pouring out onto my cheeks. This is what every girls dream is. For the man who loves them more than anything to be pouring out his heart and soul to them. To witness this, that even after a horrible awkward pubic fight and disagreement, he would come here and bear his soul, it should have made me happy and it did to a point, but more than anything it made me feel unworthy.
YOU ARE READING
Mia had lived what she deemed a normal life. She had wonderful parents who worked hard and supported her throughout her life. At the age of 25 she received a call stating that her parents had passed away in a car accident. After their death she real...