chapter two

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TRIGGER WARNING FOR ANYONE DEALING WITH EATING DISORDERS PLEASE CLICK OFF IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD MENTAL STATE AND TRY TO GET HELP IF YOUR MENTAL STATE ISN'T GOOD THEN THIS BOOK ISN'T FOR YOU PLEASE CLICK OFF

~a week later~

(Deku pov)

Its been a week and I cant help but think I was the reason I mean why else would he leave Kacchan and him are both perfect

Katchan would always try to comfort me till I feel asleep but I would wake up in the middle of the night to hear him quietly crying he doesn't know that I see him tho, it's obvious he is effected by it aswell but doesn't want me to get worried so he pretends everything is alright

I was wearing one of Kacchan' s hoodie coz his are bigger and they are more comfortable and they smell like him uwu but..then I noticed there was something in the pocket, it was a note 'I am not going to read it, it's Kacchan's privacy' I thought to myself

After a while curiosity got the best of me so I decided to read it coz 'Kacchan always tells me everything so I might as well read it now coz I am sure he will tell me later anyways we don't have any secrets between us' I thought to myself

I opened the note and started reading it and I became very confused

"Dear katsuki baku

Please take care of yourself and Izuku, I promise I will be back for you, you already know what's going on and I don't want to tell deku coz he would be worried for no reason, don't worry me and Momo are trying to come up with a plan hopefully we will see each other some day and I can tell you the details.i love you guys.

-shouto todoroki "

What's happening?
Is Kacchan gonna leave me aswell?see I knew it
What's thier "plan"?
Is there something I need to worry about?
Momo as the actor that is dating jiro the singer?
What if Kacchan and todoroki are planning to live without me?
Am I not good enough?

'Yes your not good enough'a voice said inside my head
'They will both leave you,
Your too fat just look at yourself'

That was true recently I had gained alot of weight weeping and lazying around so maybe that's why shouto left

'No it is why shouto left not just maybe, Kacchan will leave you aswell if you stay this fat and ugly '

Maybe I really am not good enough but how can I be good enough when everything is so out of control? Control! I need to control myself but how!?

'Its simple just follow my words' the voice said

I didn't know if it was wise to listen But could it hurt to try?
I mean anything and when I say anything I mean anything to get shouto and Kacchan love....

It started easy such as skipping snacks
Then skipping meals
Then skipping two meals
Then skipping all the meals

I felt so in control, in control of myself, I don't know being in control felt so good

Sometimes I would eat dinner with Kacchan and I hated it, it felt so out of control but I didn't deserve to eat and lose control so I had to gain back the control I didn't know how so I did what the voice told me

'Throw it all up'

Yet, I was still gaining weight, I wounder why? I just need to control myself more, yea that's right!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(A,n)
I did not like writing this chapter but I mean it had to be done for the plot lol besides sometimes it's good let everything out I just hope no body finds it triggering I would be devastated if someone got triggered by it so pls I you are triggerd click of this book and tell me what triggerd you so I can remove it <3

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