Chapter Twelve

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CHAPTER TWELVE


I closed the door behind me and froze. The whole night was a disaster, I was a disaster. I had such high hopes and in one night they were shattered, all because I couldn't get out of my own head. How could I face Noah knowing I ruined the beautiful night he had planned? How could he look at me?

Cameron came running down the stairs, ready to hear how my date went. He stopped in his tracks when his eyes landed on me. "What did he do?"

"Nothing, it was me." My voice caught in my throat and I buried my face in my hands. My crutches crashed to the ground and Cameron wrapped his arms around me.

"It's going to be okay." His hand rubbed up and down my back, as he tried his best to comfort me.

"How?" I whispered, my voice muffled in his chest.

"What happened Sammy?" Cameron leaned back and brushed my tears away with his sleeve. I looked off into space, reliving the whole night, every brutal minute.

"I happened," I took a deep breath. "Noah was a gentleman, he had this whole amazing night planned and I ruined it. I couldn't get past how anxious I felt. I yelled at him. And then the food." I bit my lip as it quivered. "I hate myself."

"Hey don't go there." Cameron planted his hands on my shoulders.

"I'm not, it's just Noah... He probably hates me." I muttered.

"I swear he doesn't. I'll talk to him." He offered.

I shook my head. "I should explain. It should come from me."

"Okay, the offer still stands though," Cameron assured me and squeezed my shoulder. "Why don't you sleep on it? Talk to him tomorrow when you have a clear head."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Thanks, Cammy." I forced a smile and wiped my eyes, heading towards the stairs. A voice in the back of my head kept saying that it wasn't going to be okay. If I were him, I'd be running for the hills. I shut my bedroom door behind me and let my whole body slump down on the bed.

Every bone in my body wished I could apologize to Noah right then. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but they felt like excuses for my behavior and there was no excuse for the way I acted. I just knew I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I got it off of my chest.

My phone felt heavy as the screen lit up my dark room. My previous conversations with Noah brought tears to my eyes and I began to type.

Hey Noah, can you come over tomorrow? My thumb hovered over the send button, but with each second that passed, more and more doubts clouded my mind. There were so many what-ifs: what if he said no, what if he no longer wanted to be with me? I erased the message and threw my phone down into the sheets.

Tears blurred my eyes and fell down my face, making a puddle on my pillow. Every time I thought I was about to take a step forward, I was pulled ten steps backward. I ruined everything, it just a fact of life for me. Although I could never get used to the feeling of failure. It was like a sucker punch to the heart.

--

I pried my eyes open, my lashes glued together from the remnants of tears and rolled onto my back. The ceiling was painted a bright yellow from the reflection of the sun. My phone vibrated against my leg and I reached out of the covers, the chilly air nipping at my arm as I searched the bed.

The screen lit up, Noah's name flashing across the screen.

Noah Wayland

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