𝐓𝐇𝐔𝐆 𝐋𝐔𝐕. || 𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐜 𝐬.

33. Guilty

August 11th, 1993

Emoni,

I was at my house laying in bed curled soundly in a ball, thinking about all of the things that I've been through these past months. The more I thought the more envious I became of the unborn. They would never know this pain. To have someone right in front of you one day saying I love you and then the next, they won't even speak to you.

My eyes closed soaking my pillow with tears. My tears flowed down like streams forming into puddles underneath me but I was far too upset to care. You don't know how bad that hurt me, for him to just stand there and not speak to me.

But it's my fault...

I made him feel the way that he does. Even if I said the right things by going with my gut. My truth still hurt somebody, so I can't expect him to look at me the same after I said what I said. No matter how much that hurts...

I caused it. So I just have to deal with it. No matter how much it hurts me...

I decided to get up and stop pouting like a big baby. This is my wrong and right doing and I don't feel like I have the right to mope around like this. I have to toughen up. So with that being said I got up from my bed and went into the bathroom. I took a long shower since I didn't take one last night or this morning so I stayed in for two hours.

I got out and wrapped myself in my hot pink towel. I walked back into my bedroom dropping my towel behind me. A low sigh escaped my lips as I started to search through my clothes. After a brief search, I found my outfit for tonight, it was simple but cute.

It has me written all over it.

I got dressed and styled my hair. It was straight so I combed the front into a side bang and wore the rest down. I curled the ends giving it a bit of a boost. Once I was finished I grabbed my black wallet off the dresser and made my way down the stairs. I went outside making sure to lock the door behind me before starting on my way to the bus stop.

Club night here I come...

Club Glory