Misfits

nine

I didn't like to admit it, but Asher hadn't been lying about wonderland.

After walking for about half an hour through a forest that seemed to have no end while being recklessly molested by Gill's pointless chattering and endless questions, we finally reached our trip's destination. It was the top of a rather tall hill that easily reached over the ones around us, allowing us a perfect view of the whole valley.

Life seemed peaceful up here, as if time had stopped for a moment, allowing us to just rest and breath. Even though we weren't exactly far away I still felt disconnected from what waited for me down there. No family members I didn't know how to address. No friends that got to keep the life I had enjoyed living for the past sixteen years while my new one was dull and confusing.

Just me and a bunch of outcasts.

I was sitting between Asher and Gill while Sam had claimed a more remote spot, closer to the hill's cliff. Tyler was sitting cross-legged on a blanket he had brought but egoistically refused to share.

"These are shit," Gill stated and tossed a bag of sweets back to Asher. "When I told you to bring food, I meant the good stuff. Not this sugar-free crap."

The brown haired boy shrugged and reached into the bag. "It's all we had at home. Mom's on another diet, don't blame me."

Gill sighed as her gaze drifted over to me. "What about you, Kiri?" she asked. "Did you bring anything?"

I shook my head, causing her to let out another dramatic sigh and fall backwards so the back of her head met the dry grass.

"You're all disappointments," she stated listlessly.

I copied her and laid down with my arms crossed behind my head. Asher followed me shortly after so we were all laying next to each other, staring up at the sky and watching the different shapes the clouds up there turned into.

"So you guys do this often?" I asked in an attempt to strike up a conversation since silence had once again threatened to take over.

"You mean go outside?" Asher replied.

I rolled my eyes. "Climb random hills and lay awfully close to cliffs."

"This is home," he said simply, and for a second I was jealous of how certain he sounded.

"I thought it's a feeling, not a place," I replied. "You contradict yourself."

He turned his head just a little so he could eye me. "I'm feeling it when I'm here, so this is home."

"I think an ant just crawled into my shirt," Gill mumbled from beside me, but I didn't pay her any attention. Instead I turned my head to properly look at Asher.

All of a sudden I felt anger rise inside me. This boy seemed to have everything, from a caring friend group, athletic skills and good looks to a place he could truly call his own home – how was that even fair? How could one person have so much when others had a mom that didn't even want them to be around?

"I don't think I like that look," he said slowly, eyeing me carefully. I grit my teeth and sat up, realizing I had unintentionally clenched my fists.

Shit. Not the right time to throw a fit.

So instead I did what I always did: I locked away the anger behind a nonchalant façade. It wouldn't get me anywhere to openly express what I was feeling. I had slipped once, last Friday on the soccer field, and that was a mistake I couldn't take back.

But it wouldn't happen again.

"And I don't like ants," I stated. "Nor the snacks you brought. You suck, Asher."