Chapter 43

264 11 4

Chapter 43- Nora's POV

I never expected Daniel to stay with me as long as he did. At first, we just slept on my bed for a couple of hours, my back to him and his left arm wrapped around my waist. After that he made me some more black tea downstairs and we watched TV. I was anticipating the part when he would just get up from the couch abruptly and tell me that he had to leave but that moment never came. He stayed with me until around six o'clock in the evening when I got a call from my mom on the house phone saying that she would be home to make dinner tonight.

I find myself struggling to hold back another massive wave of tears as I walk him to the front door. Please don't go, I feel like saying. I never want you to leave my side. I don't say this of course, out of the fear that I might sound completely desperate, therefore, turning him off. Instead I say, "Thank you for staying with me today."

"Of course," he replies, touching my arm affectionately.

If I don't tell him to leave now I swear I'll have another mental breakdown, I think to myself.

"I guess I'll see you later then?" I ask him, faking a smile.

"Yeah, I'll try to come and see you tomorrow evening after I get off work. How does that sound?"

"That would be great," I answer, once again feigning enthusiasm.

"Goodnight Nora," he whispers, leaning into me and I'm immediately surrounded by his warm arms and the sweet, distinctive smell of his cologne. He kisses me on the lips. "I love you," he says sincerely.

"I love you too," I say, my voice cracking on the last word. Jesus, get yourself together, Nora!

"Goodnight," he smiles one mor time before heading out the front door. I step outside, my feet on the welcome mat, as I wave to him once he's on the sidewalk. He salutes me back before taking out his phone and pressing it to his ear, probably calling a friend to pick him up.

I turn around and head back inside my house. Once the door is shut behind me, I lean up against the wall and take a deep breath. Normally this would've helped calm me down but not this time.

I hadn't even fully acknowledged the fact that Daniel had saved my life up until now. I try to clear my mind for a second but the silence consuming the empty house is so deafening that it almost frightens me and I plunge back into familiar feelings of despair and loneliness. I wander aimlessly down the hallway towards my bedroom, staying close to the wall, for I feel I can't walk completely upright without sending myself into a dizzying spell. My mother is bound to come home any minute now and I'm not even prepared to see her let alone eat dinner with her and pretend that everything's okay. Because everything is not okay. I am so far from feeling okay that I can't even see a little golden glint of hope at the end of this dark endless tunnel I've been walking through.

It's amazing how one minute I was feeling completely fine and safe in the arms of Daniel but the minute he leaves I'm back to feeling as empty and as isolated as the bottom of the ocean floor. I need my relief. I need to get myself out of this depression. This thought pounds itself relentlessly into my exhausted brain until my fingers physically start tingling with anticipation along with a hint of anxiety and paranoia.

I still remember staring right through that empty plastic bag Friday afternoon, my mind scattered into pieces and my body set into full panic mode upon discovering that I had run out of my supply. I remember letting out a scream of frustration and rage as I threw the empty bag away and proceeded to trash my room; kicking over books, chucking jewelry boxes, photographs, souvenirs, and school papers across my dresser and onto the floor. But wrecking my bedroom wasn't enough. I needed more of a catharsis than that. Screaming and crying didn't seem to help either so I impulsively decided to go outside, retrieve my bicycle, and ride it over to Daniel's apartment.

Deadly AttractionRead this story for FREE!