CHAPTER 9 Updates For Sanity

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copyright 2017 Chris Smith  All rights reserved.

"Where I go now

you cannot follow

where I go now

there is no compass."


Dad came home for dinner and maybe to sleep the night. He was distracted giving me the latest updates.

"I had lunch with Derek," Dad said.

"Oh cool. How's he doing?" I asked.

"He's doing good. He's back up here living with a friend temporarily. He's most concerned with how we're doing," Dad said.

"Yeah. That's nice of him," I said.

"The Hospital called as we were finishing our lunch. So I had to rush back," Dad said.

"What happened?" I asked.

"They were having problems with Mom. She keeps taking her I.V.s out. I walked into her room and there was blood everywhere. It was all over her bed, her gown, and her. The nurse is standing over by her wondering what the fuck to do. Mom was pissed. I guess she didn't like the nurse at all," Dad said.

"Oh my God!" I said.

It must have looked like a scene right out of a horror movie. Too bad no one was filming. Where the fuck were the cameras when you needed 'em.

"So I walk in and said, 'My God' and Mom looks at me and says 'Hi Sweetheart' with a big smile on her face. And she's covered in blood," Dad said.

"Jesus," I said.

"Yeah. I helped calm her down so they could put the I.V.s back in. But she did not like this one nurse at all. The other nurse, the battle ax one, has been around the horn and seen all kinds of shit. She doesn't think Mom's a big deal. But Mom doesn't like being there, and she sure doesn't like the Doctors. When she doesn't want to do something, she's not going to do it. I seem to be the only one who can persuade her," Dad said.

"Well no kidding," I said.

"So, the nurses are like 'Quick. Go call Joseph and get him back here,' " Dad said.

I was laughing. It was a little funny. I knew my Mom and she was no picnic. But she loved Dad fiercely and trusted him. He was it for her. I think she tolerated me. I knew she loved me. But I wasn't the sun to her and never would be.

It would probably be a tossup if I could actually convince her to do anything. She had this look she'd give ya, as if she was weighing your words, trying to decide if she would let you pass in peace, or she was going to eat you alive in one single gulp. I never did master the art of standing there in the moment, with a big smile on my face, trying to look all innocent and non-edible. But I sure did try to a lot. I surely did.

When she gave you that look, you knew whatever words came next out of your mouth, Mom would be scanning for lies. Though at that point anything you said would be suspect. She was in that place where she didn't trust anyone. She acted like people were out to get her or something.

"The Doctors sent me home. They want me to start sleeping at home again. They said I need all the strength I can get, and it's not going to help me, help her, if I'm not taking care of myself," Dad said.

"That's true Dad," I said.

"They said they'll call me if they need me. All she wants to do is leave. I hate to see her down there all by herself. Poor honey-punkin," Dad said.

"I don't blame her. I'd want to leave too," I said.

"She's got all these Doctors working on her and coming in trying to talk to her. It's funny. She ignores them when they try and talk to her. Doesn't want to have anything to do with them. Some of them don't realize her situation when they come in and try talking with her. I sit back and watch them, with a big grin on my face like 'Okay hotshot. Let's see how you do with this,' " Dad said.

I laughed at the image.

"After a while they realize they're not getting anywhere and then they start talking to me," Dad said.

"That's funny Daddy," I said.

"It is pretty funny. Though they still haven't figured what's going on with her," Dad said.



The biopsy (via needle on the enlarged lymph nodes in her pelvis) didn't get enough of a sample. So they took fluid from the lungs to help try and figure what's going on. If that doesn't work, then they will go in for a sample via the traditional way, a la knife.

Still having issues with eating (desire to eat). They started giving her Ensure® shakes, 3 yesterday. Dad was able to get some bites of food down her, but not enough to sustain her body.

They started her on a drug to help stimulate her desire to eat. The Neurologist says the body tells the brain when it needs food and for some unknown reason, Mom's body has a disconnect. It's telling her she's NOT hungry and she doesn't need food (not good..and this is what my Dad & I have been dealing with for 5 months with Mom). They said this drug is going to help make Mom want food, really badly. The woman hasn't had an entire day's normal food intake in 5 months.

She's finally holding & increasing her blood count, which they attribute to the Ensure drinks. That's great because otherwise they'd have to give her another blood transfusion (she got the first one on admittance to the ER a week ago).

She still has mood swings where she gets mean as a mule and completely uncompliant. Poor Dad. He's down there dealing with it, getting his butt kicked numerous times a day. Dad tried to get her to take a shower with him 3 times yesterday. And Mom said, "No" very emphatically. Now our issue is she's remembering she said NO (before we'd wait a little bit..and try to reintroduce the request again..sort of a reset button). I told him to try M&Ms next time...Lol.

Dad said it's a fracking reality-comedy show down there. Mom is doing some pretty funny tuft (stuff)...and then she'll go dark (mean) without warning. She's fluctuating between really fun & cute to really dark and foreboding.

The nurses say she's really not that bad (mean wise). They have some seriously mean patients down there. And they're still using the M&Ms to bribe Mom. Dad told one of them last night, to always hold back a little on the M&Ms. Lol

And the saga continues...for now, we return you to your regular scheduled programming.........

May the LIGHT keep all of you and your house,


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