Crazier [a text talk novel]

88

Ara
iMessage

hi can i rant
when i say u want the pain to be over, i mean it ara
i mean it like right now kasi wala na kong mabigay pero patuloy parin akong inuubos at sinasagad
you know i dont give up on people easily
just because i want them to be sure that they'll be fine without me for the rest of their lives
pag ako ang napagod, i wont think thrice to try again. im not that stupid and marupok
nireject at tinakbuhan na nga hahabulin pa
i only love once
and when i do, i give them my all
pero siguro yun yung mali ko?
i love without limits
nakakalimutan kong mahalin din dapat ang sarili ko
i was willing to stay
but he didnt believe i could so he didnt attempt to keep me
ouch my heart like mamon
di ko alam kung anong napakahirap sa pag harap sakin at pagsasabi ng nararamdaman
okay lang naman sakin kung di totoo eh
pero yung di nanaman ako kausapin after saying the magic word, nakakatanga
okay na ko eh
ata
kinakaya ko na yung setup na tingin tingin lang
tas puta ayan bigla ko nanaman syang nakita ulit
at ang masama pa, sinabi na nya yung gusto kong mabasa pero di nya kayang sabihin sakin para marinig at maramdaman ko man lang kung totoo o hindi
kasi ako, di naman ako kailangan takasan
kung ayaw mo sakin at napilitan ka lang na sabihin para manahimik ako, sana sinabi nalang
hindi na yung pinapakapa nanaman ako sa dilim at uncertainty nya
alam ko naman ara kung anong pinasok ko
alam kong suntok sa buwan tong lahat ng to
and to think na i actually did it, yung to get him to love me, feel ko nagsucceed na ko sa life goal na to
pero parang may mali
parang di ko sya maramdaman
bakit nung sinabi ko sa kanya diretso na gusto ko sya mas lumayo sya
eh samantalang prior to that lantaran ko narin namang sinasabi sa kanya at sa twitter ko na gusto ko sya
sana inexplain nalang nya kung bakit
ang hirap maiwan sa ere habang mataas na sana yung lipad namin
good god pagod na pagod na ko
gusto ko lang din naman marinig in person para din malaman ko kung totoo
kasi putangina 😞
AYUN NA OH
LUMIPAD NA KAMI
FLYING NA
tas nicrash nya nanaman kami 😞
nagegets ko naman na alam nyang takot ako
pero 😞 gusto ko naman subukan kasi simula palang di ko naman sya sinukuan eh 😞 ang tagal ko na nga oh???? jusko 21 na ko
eh 15 palang gusto ko na sya ah????
hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahah :(
sobrang dami kong pinalampas sa anim na taon na yon
even gab who's sooooooo willing to buy me tickets to ricci's game every single time 😖✊🏻
i want to stop ranting 😞 im so tired 😞😞😞😞😞

why is this happening
what did he do?

he ran away after saying he loves me
baka nadala ng emotions just so i'd stop nagging him 🥺 HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

maybe he really does love you
its just that the circumstances are just...
not right again
maybe it'll never be right
ghad when will your stars align 😔

it was aligned
for a minute it was 🥺
hay
im tired ara
i really am

titigil ka na?
ada 😞 babalik na si cci sa uaap in a few weeks
its staring na nga eh
mawawalan sya ng cheerleader? 🥺

ang hirap pag ako ang napagod ara
di na ko sumusubok uli
di na ko nacoconvince na hindi na mangyayari ulit yon
wala nang anything
i dont know about third chances
pero kung sa kanya kaya ko din naman siguro magbigay ng considerations sKSKSNSZKEBSJSNS 😭
im gonna rest indefinitely
i'll still watch uaap games
but depende na sa mood

kaya mo?
bAKIT DEPENDE NA SA MOOD
ALWAYS KA NAMAN NASA MOOD EH DIBAAAA

oo? yata
pag nagyaya nalang si gab manuod
or oag may free tickets
ara im so tired
ramdam mo ba ko hahaha
dami kong regrets
sana hindi ko nalang sinabi sa kanya
sana hindi nalang ako nagtapat at nagpaka kampante
sana di nalang di nalang di nalang lahat 😖
gago ng mundo
di nya pa sinasagot tawag ko
ano kayang nagawa ko
why did he have to do this
to leave me hanging sushuabajsbwis
whats going on 😭
sana di ko nalang sinabi para wala sanang nagbago
kala ko walang magbabago kasi i felt the same way
i want to know why things are changing
wag naman sanang laging ganito hehe 😬
hindi nga ako agad sumusuko sa tao
pero gusto ko talagang malaman kung bakit ako, mabilis lang sukuan at iwanan
eh binibigay ko naman lahat eh 😭
i want us against the world
pero di nangyayari eh
fear overcame affection
when we should be talking about it instead of skipping and ignoring it
and leaving and ghosting
which is why its a total disaster
tama na to
ive always been marupok sa kanya
and ive been bashed and told i should stop being a martyr
now i think i will 😇
its been a long day
i think its about time that i rest 😬
it took alot for me to come to this point
and if he thinks i'll still be the same after this
hahahahahaahhaa

i think he's really too much for me to handle
maybe another person can do the handling for me 😂
if he doesnt want to hear what im about to say sa call then okay
im resting my case
but
6 years.... 😔 hahahahaha
my ricci babes will always be my ricci babes
magpapahinga lang
hindi magpapahinga na
babalik ako
siguro
try ko

heal
youre way too bruised
im so proud of you for loving despite the pain
for not letting your emotions cloud your decisions
stop calling
wait for his call instead
if he doesnt call within today
anong oras na ba

12 am

basta within today
tatawag yan kung ayaw nyang mawala ka
if he calls take that as a sign to return
okay?

and if he doesnt call?

then take that as a sign parin
to rest indefinitely nga lang
balik ka pag kaya mo na
no pressure love
if he meant he loves you di hahanap ng iba yan
lowkey ka na uli ha?
when the time is right, di mo mamamalayan nala bounce back ka na

na okay na kami?

na okay ka na
ikaw
ikaw naman muna adaline
please
di kami mawawala ni gab dito lang kami
sasamahan ka namin
just please prioritize yourself muna okay?
kung kayo, kayo.
stop forcing things to fall into place
they will, voluntarily
okay?

okay, i get you

you do?
baka mamaya balik sa dati nanaman ha
di kailangan magkamali ng magkamali para matuto
minsan once is enough

i know
tsaka no ah
i really get it
i promise i get it 😉
now lang nagsink in

okay gooood
hehe
good night na adalineeeee
samgyup tayo later! my treat 😉 g?

yessssss okay huhu much needed
i need many cheese
HEHEHE HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

sleep ka na ada

magwait ako for 30 more minutes
hahahahahahaaha
malay mo naman tumawag hahahaha
good night arabels
i love you
i meant it
i wont run away
hehe

love you ada! always here ❤️
call or text gab
he's worried din

okay i will! thanks ara

okaaaay 😊

okay 😌

¿❤️?
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gANDA KA BA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
mamimiss mo ko
wala nang makulit
bahala ka ikaw din
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