normally, i wouldn't even consider doing this.
no it wasn't crazy, it wouldn't get me in any trouble..as far as i was concerned. i was just, nervous to say the least. i felt like this swimsuit looked all wrong on me, normally, i'd ask someone for some peace of mind but they always said something along the lines of "oh my god you look amazing"
which bothered me because i wanted to believe it, and I'm sure if i didn't have this face i would probably look fucking amazing. i sighed to myself before fixing my hair, i pulled jaeden's hoodie on and i slid on my slides before leaving my room.
i gently closed the door not wanting to wake anyone up. i looked around before walking past everyone's rooms, i carefully stepped down the stairs, my heart nearly falling out of my chest when the last stair creaked. not loudly, but considering how quiet it was it sounded like australia heard it.
i shook my head before going towards the pool room. i slid the glass door open and stepped onto the hard concrete before sliding it closed behind me. i made a slight right turn and kept walking to the hot tub, like i was asked to do. i stood a few feet away from the hot tub, and jaeden sat inside of it, relaxing and from what i could see, looking pretty mellow.
"Hey Y/N." he said softly.
"hi jae." i said smiling and blinking slowly, it was silent for a minute. "so what's up?"
jaeden pushes out a sharp breath "i wanna say i'm sorry." he began. "i hate it when we fight, i hate that i don't wanna listen to you in the moment. you know i love you, more than anything, and i hate not being able to touch you, or talk to you."
i swallowed a lump in my throat and crossed my arms, shifting all my weight onto my right leg. "i hate when i make you feel bad, and i don't know if you miss me, or if you even feel the way about us fighting like me." he was looking down at the water, every now and then furrowing his eyebrows because he was so frustrated, with who or what i didn't know.
"but i hate it, i hate making you mad, i hate everything about it." he looked up at me, his face full of passion and longing. his baby blue eyes burned a hole through me before he continued. "Baby I'm so sorry, please forgive me."
i opened my mouth, but i couldn't find the words. i was scared shitless, and i didn't even know why, i just was.
i kicked my slides to the side and shrugged off jaeden's oversized hoodie and placed it on a chair, and his eyes never left mine as i did so. i slowly got into the bubbling hot water, i floated over to jaeden and placed my hands on the side of his face.
i brought my lips to his and we shared a slow, gentle, kiss. i pulled back and smiled at him as my right hand rested on his neck and i smiled at him. "i'm sorry jae."
he shook his head "i'll try better."
"i will too." i said as his hands moved to my hips. "i've been so easily irritated lately and I'm sorry, i hate it when we fight too, i just miss you so much and-i just" i couldn't even look him in the eye because i was sure i'd kiss him again, but i wanted him to hear me first, even if it burned like a bitch to admit this to him.
"i get it." he said looking into my eyes, then quickly glancing at my lips. "i know this is hard for you."
i bit my lip, i hate saying sorry, but i couldn't bare fighting with jaeden for another minute, i love him too much to put that kind of strain on our relationship. and we were both so damn stubborn that it could go on for days almost weeks at a time. i love him, god knows i do.