Depression

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Harry had been feeling low lately. The last few days had been tough. A busy schedule of interviews and photo shoots. He was fed up with it. So when the boys finally had a day off, he decided he was just going to stay in bed.

"Harry...we're having pizza and putting some dvds on...you coming down?" Louis said, as he popped his head around Harry's bedroom door.

Harry didn't respond, he just closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.

Louis sighed and closed the door quietly.

Harry opened his eyes and sighed too. He was too exhausted to even turn over.

It was very quiet, he couldn't even hear the boys, so maybe Louis had told the others to keep the noise down.

The silence had got Harry's mind going into overdrive. He hates it when this happens. He starts thinking about bad things. Like...when his dad left them when he was 3 years old. When he got bullied at school for having long curly hair. When he tried to end his life because he felt like he didn't deserve to be on the earth.

He started crying. He bought his hands up to his face and hid himself, from nobody. His fingers and palms soaked in tears.

His head was aching from thinking too much.

He was thinking about the boys. He thinks they don't like him and would be better if he left the band. So he decided that's what he was going to do.

He managed to lift himself up and dragged himself to his bathroom.

He opened up the cupboard and rummaged through it until he found what he was looking for, a packet of sleeping pills that he'd been prescribed a while ago, when he had trouble sleeping.

He filled a glass with water and walked slowly back to his bed.

Sitting the glass and pills on his bedside table, he opened a drawer underneath, getting out a pen a writing pad.

He wrote two letters putting them into envelopes and sealing them, placing them on the table.

He opened up the pill packet and popped them all out of their covers onto the bed. He counted them slowly. There were twenty eight, a months supply.

He sat there for a while debating whether his life was worth living or not. He decided not. This was it.

He sat back in the bed and put the pills in his lap, picking them up two at a time, placing them on his tongue and washing them down with water. He took twenty before he started to feel sick, from all the water sloshing inside him.

He thought that was enough to work, so he laid down on his pillows, and said goodbye to the world. Not that the world cared anyway!

Downstairs, the boys had been talking about Harry. That they were worried about him being subdued recently, so they decided to have a chat with him. Louis went up to get him to come down and talk to them.

He opened Harry's bedroom door to find him slumped in bed, pale. He started choking.

"Someone call a fucking ambulance quick!" Louis called from the door. He rushed over to Harry and got him to sit up, just as he threw up all the water he just had. Mixed in with the water, were the tiny while pills. Louis was in shock.

Harry was falling into unconsciousness.

"What the fuck have you done Harry?!" He screamed, tears falling down his cheeks. " help me! " he shouted as Liam and Niall burst in the door, seeing Louis trying to get Harry to stand up, while he was vomiting. "Help me get him up! I think he's taken some pills!" Louis cried.

Liam and Niall took over from Louis and walked him around the room. Paramedics had arrived and took over.

---

At the hospital, Harry had been taken away to have his stomach pumped. Louis, Liam and Niall were in a right state. Louis had a panic attack on the way in, which scared the hell out of all of them.

"Could you come with me please?" A nurse asked the boys, they got up and followed her into a room, where a very sick looking Harry was laying.

Louis rushed over, grabbing his hand and holding it against his cheek, he felt cold.

"Hello. I'm doctor Malik. I'm sorry to tell you that Harry attempted to take his own life. We were fortunate you found him in time. He is recovering. He will need to stay in at least overnight and will need to see a counsellor. "

"Thankyou" the boys said as the doctor left.

They sat in silence, apart from sniffles from them crying.

---

Two hours later, Harry started to wake up.

"Harry? Harry? Talk to us please?"  Louis cried.

he slowly opened his eyes. Seeing his friends around him, his bottom lip wobbled, and he started crying. "I wanted to d-die!"

the boys gasped and Louis squeezed his hand tight. "No Harry! Don't say that please don't!" Louis whimpered.

"Why?" Niall asked. Liam shoved him and glared.

" i hate myself" harry whispered.

"But...but we love you Harry! We wouldn't survive without you!" Niall said bawling his eyes out.

"We're going to get the old Harry back! We want you happy!.ok? Harry nodded. The threw themselves at him and hugged for a long time.

---

Louis stayed in the hospital with Harry that night, while Liam and Niall went home to clean up Harry's room.

"Liam....there's some letters here!" Niall said holding them up to show him. "one has our names on and one has Harry's Mum's on it. Should we open them?"

Liam walked over. "I...i don't know Ni. I don't know if i want to read them. Maybe see what Lou says? " Niall nodded and they carried on with the cleaning.

---

Louis Sat next to Harry all night. Harry kept getting pains in his stomach. The doctors said that was likely, because of the pills. He tried being sick, but there was nothing left to throw up, so he gagged and heaved, which made him hurt more.

Louis hates seeing Harry is so much pain. But at least he wasn't dead!

Now they had the hard time ahead...trying to mend their beloved Harry.

Got a bit emotional writing this.

Part two? Or is one enough?

All the love xxx

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