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After opening the stall and seeing Kenna on the other side, looking absolutely shocked, I did the only thing I could do

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After opening the stall and seeing Kenna on the other side, looking absolutely shocked, I did the only thing I could do.

I ran.

"Wait, Nevaeh!" She tried calling after me, horrified. I kept my head down and completely ignored her. I had to get out of here.

...fat...

...ugly...

...insecure...

Alexia's words circled my head and I fought back tears.

...stupid...

...fat...

...ugly...

My backpack kept on hitting my back as I ran, but I relished the pain. I deserved it, didn't I? I was ugly and stupid. I'd never be good enough.

I raced through the school, no destination in mind, and disregarded the looks from other people at my school. I faintly heard a teacher yelling 'no running in the hallways' but I wasn't sure. My mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

Finally, I made it out of the building and stopped my movements. I was now outside, at the front entrance. 

Immediately, I felt a sense of light-headedness from the sun. I squinted my eyes, willing myself to calm down a faction.

From the sudden exercise I had just done, my feet sway from under me. I hadn't eaten anything since my binge episode, which was almost a week ago, and I hadn't had the energy to run anymore either. I was out of shape, my to my unhappiness.

Alexia's words kept on swirling in my head and I sighed. She was right in a way. I was stupid and insecure and fat and ugly and everything else. She had just said the truth. 

As I stood there, trying to sort out my thoughts, the pounding in my head slowly got ten times worse. I rested my fingers on my forehead, in an attempt to calm the pain down, but it didn't work. The harsh summer sun beating down on me wasn't helping, but I had nowhere to go. My brain felt like it was about to split apart.

Deep breaths, I told myself. In and out.

Much to my displeasure, though, my breathing couldn't be tamed. My lungs were gasping for air and my legs were getting weak. My head hurt and my brain was screaming. It was too much.

My body felt hot and all I could see was a blinding light. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to try to relieve it, but it didn't do anything. My insides were burning up and the white flashes in my vision were still there. 

A nap sounds really good right now, I thought. Laying down, closing my eyes, and sleeping for the rest of eternity sounded really good right now.

If only...I could...juussttt...slleeeppp— 



I'm really sorry for the short update! I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post chapters until my summer break (beginning of June) because finals at my school are in a few weeks and I'm currently doing everything I can not to lose my shit. 

(It's not going very well, homework and studying and school is making me go crazy.)

Hope you enjoyed the chapter, nevertheless!

On a different note, whO WATCHED ENDGAME??? I watched it almost two weeks ago and I'm still not over it lol. 

Love you 3,000, lillipads! <3

Love you 3,000, lillipads! <3

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