Emotionless

im sorry

I got up and went down stairs to see zayn in the kitchen making breakfast. i didnt really want to talk about last night to much so i avoided the topic and sat down at the island.zayn set a plate full of pankakes in front of me followed by a smile. i gratefully smiled at him.

'how are you' he asked obviously talking about last night.

'fine a little tired but-'

'thats not what i meant'

'im fine...i mean its a little upsetting that i didnt get to eat my food last night but' he nodded obviouly getting the hint that i didnt want to open up about it.

'lucas wants to get back together with me' i casually said

'really?! and your thinking about getting back with that jerk'

'yes no i dont even know these days, my life is just one big complication.............well i have to go pick up the twins from my mums house' he nodded as i slipped on my uggs.

'be careful ' he said before i stepped out the door. i arrived at my mums house and two little terrors attacked me. oh and the boys convined the twins to call them uncles'

'can we go see uncle louis and liam today' jojo asked

'and uncle zayny and niall' jordan said too i tensed up a little when she said niall. i just nodded and lead them back to the house.

zayn was still there when i got back. he was face flat on the floor

'zayn? zayn!!?' i shook him awake.

'hmmm' he mumbled

'why are you on the floor?'

'well i tripped and fell on the floor but then i was to comfortable to get up, then i fell alseep'

'you are one wacko kid' i said stepping over him. he laughed and i turned on the tv. nalls face appeared on the screen

'one directions niall horan has been seen hanging a round with his ex girfriend kelsy jones' the news lady said 'could nial be cheating or is the budding romance between emma Jackson and niall horan gone, more info after this' i clicked the tv off refusing to watch anymoree of the garbage. i could feel tears forming in my eyes. i looked around the room to see 3 pairs of eyes looking directly at me.

'are you gonna cry?' jojo asked putting her hand on mine. i put my free hand on top of hers.

'no sweetie im fine' i said sniffing. zayn took them upstairs then sat down on the couch with me. we sat their in silence before he crashed his lips onto mine. i pushed him away.

'zayn!?' i said looking at him in shock. he looked shocked 'go home to perrie!' i demanded beofre i left the room. i heard a door slam from downstairs and when i looked out the window, he wasnt there. i need some wise old woman wisdom. i pulled out my phone and dialed.

'hello?'

'mum!?'

'emma! hi whats wrong!'

'can i come over??' i asked almost on the verge of tears.

'yes! of course!' i hung up and went to the kids room. they were cuddled on the floor alseep. i slowly picked them up being careful not to wake them up. i quietly buckled them in and drove to my mums.

i pounded on the door with my foot. my mum answered the door with a smile. i gave hher a weak smile. she took the kids upstairs while i prepared tea. we always have tea when we talk. she came back down stairs and took to the tea quietly sitting down at the island. she looked at me with sympathy.

'is it niall dear?' she asked. i nodded refusing to let the tears out. she rubbed my shoulder.

'but thats not it mum! zayn kissed me!'

'WHAT!' she yelled shooting up spilling her tea. i caught her cup before it could fall. mean while mum didnt bother to clean up her mess, she just stared at me in horror. i went to wipe up the mess but she caught my arm and dragged me to the couch.

'tell me everything!' she said like a teenage girl.

'well we were just sitting there saying nothing and he just kissed me randomly, i pushed him off and told him to go to perrie. '

--nialls pov--

i heard zayn went to emmas and i really need to talk to zayn, but i stopped in my tracks when i saw emma and zayn snogging on the couch. i spun around on my heel and ran. i couldnt believe zayn would do this to me. and emma! how could she, i thought she loved me. cant she see behind the lies. behind the phony smiles. i tense up every time kelsy touches me. and she still doesnt notice. i cant believe her! i hate her! im never talking to her again!

--zayns pov--

i know i shouldnt have kissed her but at that moment she looked so perfect and i couldnt help it, i guess some part of me was hoping that she would kiss me back. how do i explain this to perrie. shes going to be so mad at me. i love perrie, with all my heart, and i really dont want to hurt her. when she is sad. the whole world is sad. she is my world. i dont have feelings for emma. iwas just missing perrie. suddenly all my feelings for emma washed away. im such a jerk. but im no liar, im gonna tell perrie the truth and wether she leaves me or not is her choice. i walked up to the house and slowly turned the knob.,.............