Insomnia.

Dark, neon and pastel green

I came into the living room well aware that Minho would follow me. But now I'm more awake. Thanks twins of hell. To be honest I totally don't want to have that conversation. I'm well aware what Minho would think of me. So I'll do everything I can to stall the talk. Even if I need to get him mad. Sounds drastic,... I know.

I placed myself in front of the Tv and put it on. Oh guess what's playing. A serie about someone who can't sleep. Surprise surprise. It's like the tv is mocking me.

I was getting myself comfortable on the couch. When I heard those 2 children bicker once again. God damnit are they serious right now. My headache was getting worse and worse. I was getting to the point of just packing my bag for the day and leaving the dorm. Right when I was gonna go through with this plan I heard Changbin yell at them to shut up. I need to remind myself that i have to thank Changbin later. I'm curious for how long they're gonna be able to stop there antics.

Looking up at the clock I noticed we still have a few hours left before we have to leave. I know I have to fiks a few things before schedules and I need to make sure the kids are ready with everything.

I let myself fall down on the couch and tried to get comfortable again, so I could relax for a bit. This is not something I normally do. It's really out of the ordinary.

After a few minutes or so I'm not sure about how much time has past, the door that connects the kitchen with the living room opens.

Of course it's Minho, who else would it have been. I forgot he was worried about me. Now I have to think of a lie. A believable lie because he is like a god and he knows everything, especially when I lie.
His skills are amazing, everytime I'm surprised if he figures out a lie. People actually trust him because off this reason. He's an amazing listener and an his solutions actually work compared to mine. I try but I don't think my solutions actually work. I really think Minho or Changbin would be a better leader. Minho is a better listener, a better comfort person, a better problem solver. While Changbin could actually lead the group, have the kids listen to his instructions, rise them to the top. Who is he to be the leader...

To deep into my thoughts I didn't notice Minho coming closer till he sat down and I felt the couch dip. I didn't look at him. I kept staring of into the distance. My sight was getting glassy and blurry. I know it looks kinda bad and I should act like my bubbly self. I just couldn't even if I tried to, my brain wasn't catching up with things that quickly. Probably due to the lack of sleep that I got in the past few months. It's just getting harder and harder to function. Maybe the lack of nutritions was catching up with him as well.

"Channie Hyung, hey are you okay mate?" Minho announced his presence while touching my head. Probably to feel if I have a fever or not. I still couldn't find the energy to react. I just blinked trying to get the fogginess out of my head. I must be pathetic to not be able to react to such an easy question. I really need to find an incredible excuse,  the best lie I have ever told anyone.

I felt him touching my forehead and my cheeks once again. Trying to feel for a fever. He wouldn't find one I'm just exhausted I think. My eyes flutter shut for a second. I should probably get up, start writing or preparing new music or even just help cleaning up the kitchen. But I really can't find the energy. I feel really useless at the moment. I just want to sleep, to feel energized or to sleep forever. The last one sounds so appealing. Not numb or floating like right now.

I suddenly felt someone take both of my wrist into his hands. Looking down at the point where my wrist and the hands connected I saw red raised lines. Luckily just surface damage nothing to worrisome, no blood, no gaping wounds. I didn't even notice I had been scratching my wrist.

"-an Hyung Chan Hyung, hey can you hear me" my eyes followed the hands up holding my wrist. Soft sweater arms, comfy looking shoulders, lips that were moving, eyes filled with something, scrunched up brows, oh wait the lips were moving. My eyes focused once again on his lips trying to decipher what they were saying.

"-an Hyung, hey are you with me" The lips said. I blinked "Hey Channie, you're safe come back to me" While I tried to focus on what the lips were saying I heard the door open up. A bunch of noise that I couldn't decipher came through. Suddenly the lips weren't focused on me anymore "-uys can you go back to your rooms. Chan Hyung and I are discussing something important." I heard the lips announce. One of my hands was released while the person who the lips belongs to waved the noise makers away. I didn't hear the replies and the questions from the ones who're making the noise but the next thing I know they're gone.

How can't I remember having an important discussion. I barely have the energy to blink. Am I really that stupid that I can't even remember having a conversation with someone. I feel myself slipping deeper into the void. My free hand traveled up to my neck, my fingers curled up and I planted my nails deeply into my neck. Scratching and putting my nails deeper and deeper. It helped, it helped clearing up the void in his brain. I felt something liquidish under my nails. But I could care less. I just want the void to go away.

Suddenly I heard the lips curse "Fuck, Channie Hyung don't do that." The lips spoke worried I saw his hands reach up quickly to snatch my hand away from my neck. "Oh" I replied stupidly I looked up right in the eyes of this person. Oh right the lips are connected to a face and the face belongs to Minho. I tried to move to get my hands free but Minho didn't release my hands again. Not wanting to make the same mistake like a few minutes ago.

"-an Hyung don't, don't do that." I blinked at him. Finally the void and the numb feeling was disappearing. I nodded slowly. "You back with me Chan Hyung" I heard Minho say with hope and worry. I nodded once again this time it was easier. I hear Minho sigh in relieve. The burning and pain became now clear. I whined silently.