Chapter One

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I knew that I needed to calm down as I pulled into the Teller Morrow lot, but my blood was boiling. I had seen my father once in the last decade and that was only because I had been in hospital and they called him, that reunion had not gone well to say the least. So now six months later it came as a shock that some ATF bitch had showed up to at my garage talking all kinds of bullshit about my dad and the Sons, but the bitch crossed the line when she started bringing up my son and child services. After I had shut the bitch down I knew that even after all these years I had to go back to Charming and see my dad.

Taking a deep breath I turned off the car and opened the door. I looked around and realised that even though it had been a decade nothing much had changed around the lot. I had barely walked ten steps when I saw my father walking towards me with a surprised look on his face at seeing me. He sped up his steps til he was standing in front of me, he made to hug me but I held up my hand and took a step back before I spat ‘wanna explain to me why some ATF cunt has been sniffing around me and my son Tig, talking all kinds of shit about my relationship with you and all this?’

‘What the fuck you talking about Luce, why don’t we go into the club house and talk and catch up?’

‘I’m not really in the catching up mood dad, I just drove straight from the airport after a six hour flight from Boston, I just want to know why the hell I’m being dragged into whatever the fuck is going on after not seeing any of you in a fucking decade?’ I knew I was shouting by the end and drawing attention but I really didn't give a fuck at this point. I quickly cast my eyes towards the garage and I could see Jax, Opie, Gemma and Chibs looking at me with matching shocked expressions but again I couldn’t seem to make myself care.

‘Luce please why don’t we go get a beer and you can tell me exactly what happened ok?’

‘Fine, but I’m gonna need something a lot fucking stronger than a beer dad. I’m here for one night then I’m getting the hell outta this place, got it.’

He just nodded at me and we both walked towards the club house but I knew within minutes the others would follow them. Even after all these years I knew nothing happened around here in private. As I walked in I stopped dead in my tracks and looked around at the room where I had spent most of my time growing up and I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that it hadn’t changed at all. I knew my dad was looking at me but I held myself poker straight determined not to let any emotion other than anger show on my face. I walked towards the bar and told the man behind it I wanted a whiskey straight, he looked between me and Tig and opened his mouth but before he could utter a word Tig said ‘unless the next words outta your mouth are yes ma'am Juice I will make you eat your teeth’ he growled as he reached over the bar and grabbed a beer. Juice looked stunned before turning quickly and pouring four fingers of whiskey into a clean glass and gently putting it in front of me before daring to glance at Tig and walking quickly out of the club house but before the door could close behind him the others walked in just as I thought.  Whilst I hadn’t let my dad hug me I didn’t really have much of a chance to stop Opie as he picked me up and swung me like I  was five all over again.

‘Fucks sake Opie put me down you fucking overgrown child!’ I shouted as he finally put me back on my feet.

‘What I missed ya?’ he simply said before grabbing a beer. Jax was next pulling me into his arms and whispering to me that he had missed me too. I honestly didn’t think that coming back here after all these years would evoke such a strong reaction from me but I could feel my eyes moisten as I was suddenly pulled out of Jax's arms and into Chibs. He didn’t say anything just held me before kissing my hair and then walking back towards the dorms. I turned and looked at Gemma who simply raised an eyebrow at me and I almost threw myself at Gemma and clung to her. I knew that if I didn’t release Gemma that I was going to lose the control I  had over my emotions so I pulled back walked over to the bar and downed the drink that had been poured for me, Opie just raised an eyebrow at me before pouring more into my glass.

‘Right, someone want to tell me why I got a visit from the ATF two days ago?’ I asked as I went to sit on the couch that was next to the pool table. Everyone looked at each before Gemma said ‘Lucy the others should be back within the hour so why don’t we wait until then to talk about everything.’

‘Fine, but I want the truth Gemma, she threatened my kid when she was spouting her bullshit.’

‘I know Luce’ Gemma replied as they all came and sat down, Chibs walked back out from the dorms and grabbed a beer before joining us.

I didn’t really know what to say to any of them, it had been so long since I had been around any of them apart from my dad who came to see me briefly after the accident.

After a few minutes of strained silence it was Jax who asked ‘so you kept the kid then’ and I couldn’t help but smirk as Gemma, Opie and Tig all groaned in unison as Chibs slapped him on the back of the head.

‘Yeah I did, he turned ten last week and believe me Alex keeps me on my toes’. I hadn’t realised what I had said til Tig spat his beer all over Jax who was sitting opposite him, after he had finished choking he looked at me and I could see he had tears in his eyes and I honestly didn’t know whether it was from choking or the fact that despite everything that had happened when I told him that I was pregnant I had still named him after him. He suddenly stood up and walked straight out of the club house slamming the door so hard that I could see the hole in the wall from across the room.

‘Oh shit’ I said downing my drink again and standing up to follow him outside when Gemma touched my hand ‘Maybe you should give him a minute Luce?’

‘Nah, Gemma, this is ten years in the making, I think its time we had this out once and for all’. She just nodded at me and I knew that there would likely follow to watch and keep an eye out for us. We were far too similar for this to turn out anything other than a screaming match.

I walked out of the club house and saw my dad sitting on top of one of the picnic tables with his head in one hand and a smoke in the other, I stopped a few feet from him and simply stood there looking at him not really knowing how to start this. When he came to the hospital months ago we had ended up arguing which resulted in him being escorted out by security and me refusing to see him again so I was shocked when his head shot up and he looked at me with tears in his eyes.

‘Dad’ I started but he cut me off before I could say more.

‘No Lucy let me just say this ok, I am so sorry for how I reacted when you told me you where pregnant, I said some really shitty things to you. Christ it was the first time I had ever hit you. I am just so fucking sorry about everything and then I find out that you did it all alone after you left here. After everything you have been through. FUCK!’

‘Jesus dad, I was never scared of you even when you slapped me it was all the shit you said about mom that made me stop in my tracks. I questioned everything we had been through when you started spewing all that shit about me being a whore just like her.’ I knew my voice was steadily getting louder as I paced in front of him but I knew that the only way for us to ever be able to move forward was to have it out and scream at each like we did when I was a teenager.

‘Fuck dad I was already through with my second year of college and you dismissed everything I had done because I made one mistake, after all the times I forgave you for fucking up with me when I was a kid and you treated me like I was a fucking crow eater. Then you had the nerve to say I was fucking uncle Koz and that he had knocked me up. Jesus Christ I love him like I love you, we fucking moved in with him when I came to live here. He helped raise me cause you certainly had no fucking clue what to do with a daughter, and then you treat him like shit for the next decade cause he called you out on your shit!’ I screamed at him and at the mention of Koz his head snapped to me. ‘Yeah I’m still in touch with uncle Koz and we speak every few weeks even when he couldn’t take your shit anymore and transferred charters, he came to Boston last week for Alex’s birthday and I swear to god you give him anymore shit for it and I will fucking kill you. He is the only one who ever tried to reach out to me. You all just fucking let me go, do you have any idea how fucking scared I was at nineteen, pregnant and being disowned by the one person who was meant to love me unconditionally. I told the father that I was pregnant and he simply gave me money and told me to deal with it. I never told you who it was cause I didn’t want to cause a rift between you and a brother. So fuck you and your sorry. Alex is the best thing that ever happened to me and whilst it wasn’t the best time or under the best circumstances my life revolves around that boy. Want to know why I named him after you dad because even after you treated me the way you did you were still my fucking hero. You took on a four year girl who you didn’t even know existed and changed your whole world around to try and give me a better life'. I hadn’t realised that the others had pulled up and were sitting on their bikes staring at me with shocked looks on their faces til I felt a hand on my shoulder and was turned around to come face to face with uncle Koz and seeing him there willing to stand by me once again I burst into tears and threw my arms around him. I felt him pick me up and start to walk before a door slammed and he sat down still with me in his arms like he used to when I was a kid. He never said a word just held me tight and let me cry against him.

Tig slumped back down on the bench and held his head in his hands as the others got off their bikes and came out of the doorway of the club house, it was Gemma who came to sit beside him and simply put her hand on his knee as he silently cried. He never meant to say all the things he did all those years ago but he had been so damn angry when she told him, she was the one thing in his life he always thought he had done right by and her getting pregnant at nineteen hadn’t been part of the plan. He had reacted out of anger never thinking that she was simply scared and all she needed was her dad to comfort her and make everything better. Someone, he wasn’t sure who passed a joint in front of his face which he took without even looking up. After taking a few hits he raised his head, looked between his brothers and was on his feet instantly when he heard Happy say ‘I honestly thought she had an abortion’

‘What the fuck did you just say?’ he screamed as Jax, Opie and Chibs held him back.

‘Shit brother I am sorry, it was one night and when she told me I gave her the money to deal with it, it wasn’t til I came back here months later that I found out what happened and that she had took off. I swear I didn’t’

‘Jesus Christ Hap.’ Clay muttered as Tig was still struggling to get free from the arms that where holding him back. At this point Clay was standing directly in front of Tig and put hands on his shoulders ‘Tig I know you’re pissed off as am I but you can’t kill him, he is still your brother but we settle this like anything else that happens in the family that cant be settled around the table, we take it to the ring brother.’

Tig felt himself deflate somewhat knowing Clay was right and he couldn’t shoot his brother in the head as much as he wanted to. ‘Yeah ok your right we take it to the ring but I can’t be held responsible if I kill him in there but at least I wont shoot him.’ At this the others let him go and he took off his kutte and laid it on the bench before taking his shirt and rings off and walking over to the ring. Clay then turned to Happy and said ‘he deserves to get a few good punches in before you fight back brother’, all Happy did was nod once and put his rings and kutte next to Tig’s and walked over to the ring with the others following him knowing that a few of them were gonna have to step in eventually and pull them apart.

Gemma watched them walk towards the ring before turning on her heel and walking back into the club house to grab the bottle of whiskey, a glass and a joint from her bag. She then walked towards the office to see Lucy and Kozik. She had always known they were close but she didn’t really understand the depth of their bond til she saw him practically jump off his bike before he had turned the engine off to get to Lucy. Even though she was pissed he had never told anyone that he was still in regular contact with her she understood why, when Lucy left Tig was a wreck and refused to speak her name for years and that is why she hadn’t tried to contact her. Clay had warned her that it was between the two of them and that she had to stay out of it.

She quietly opened the door to see Kozik sitting on the sofa in the corner of her office with Lucy curled up asleep on his lap like she used to when she was little and she couldn’t help the smile that came over her face as she gently shut the door closed, sat in her office chair and turned it to  face the two of them. After opening the bottle of whiskey and taking a hit straight from the bottle she passed it over to him silently. After he had a drink he handed it back to her and said ‘I take it from the shouting I just heard that Tig finally knows it wasn’t me.’

‘Yeah, Happy just owned up and they are about to go into the ring cause Clay wouldn’t let him shoot Hap in the head’. All he did was nod as Gemma lit up the joint and took a big draw ‘how long after she left did she contact you Koz?’

‘About two weeks, she went straight to Boston cause her friend Matt from school had moved their for a job, I already knew she was pregnant cause she told me before anyone else. I went up there a few weeks later to go to the hospital with her and she finally told me who the dad was but made me swear to never tell anyone or where she was, so I didn’t. The minute he was born even if she hadn’t told me it would have been obvious, the kid is the mini version of Hap Gem. The only thing he got from her is one blue eye.’

‘Really?’ Gemma asked.

‘Yeah, he has that thing where his eyes are different colours, one nearly black like Hap and one bright blue like her’s and the asshole outside.’ He said carefully reaching into the inside pocket of his kutte and pulling out a photo and handing it to Gemma.

‘Fuck, he really does look like Hap, doesn’t he. His eyes are beautiful though’ she said looking at the picture, it was taken last week when he gone to Boston for Alex’s birthday.

‘It’s called Heterochromia Iridium’ I said as I  lifted my head off Kozik’s chest and stood up before taking seat beside him ‘it’s a rare condition. When he was born both eyes were blue but by the time he was a few moths old only one went dark.’ Gemma just nodded at me and handed the picture back to Koz, he put it back in his pocket and stood up ‘You gonna be ok here with Gemma while I go see your old man and Happy fighting it out in the ring?’

I looked at him horrified that they were fighting but I knew it had to happen for them both to be able to get past it so I just nodded and he walked out the door leaving us both in awkward silence before I looked at Gemma and said ‘Come on then Gem I know you have something to say so you might as spit it out whilst its just us two but first pass me that bottle.’

Gemma just smirked at me as she passed the bottle ‘well I can honestly say that for the first time in years I am not quite sure what to say baby. Part of me wants to choke the shit outta you for walking away and leaving us all, cause even after the blow out we are still your family and the other part of me wants to hug you cause you did what you always do and put family first. It’s why you never told anyone here who the dad was and why you walked away, cause you put your son first as any good mother should. After all these years I can’t believe that Piney was right, he always said that the two of you should just fuck and get it out of your system, that’s why you two were always insulting each other whenever he rolled into town. Wait til the old bastard hears about this.’

I couldn’t help but laugh cause Gemma was right about Piney, he really will have a field day with the news when he finds out. I was taking a drink straight from the bottle when Gemma spoke causing me to nearly choke ‘now that the cat is out of the bag what are the chances of me meeting that gorgeous son of yours?’

Once I had stopped coughing I managed to speak ‘Gem as much as love you all and I do, it all depends on how Happy is gonna be about it cause there is no way in hell I am subjecting Alex to meeting someone who is going to break his heart, he knows all about you all though. The pictures I had in my apartment here are up in the house we have in Boston and when he was old enough to ask and understand I told him the truth that we are all family but sometime families argue over shit and don’t speak to each other again. He loves his uncle Koz more than anyone will ever know, he has been one of the few constant people in his life from the day he was born, his middle name is Herman much to Koz’s horror when I told him’ I sniggered and took another drink before passing it to Gemma.

‘He knows about us all?’ she asked in amazement.

‘Of course, just because I moved away and we didn’t speak for a decade doesn’t mean I still don’t love you all even the asshole who is currently kicking Hap’s ass. You were all the one constant I had in my life for fifteen years Gemma, that doesn’t go away just because I put my boy first.’

‘Yeah I know what you mean, but I am telling you now that even if Happy doesn’t want to know Alex you can bet your ass that I will get on a plane and fly to Boston to meet him cause now that I know I have another grand baby out there I have ten years to make up for.’

Neither one of them had heard the door open so both jumped when Clay said ‘how much is that going to cost me Gemma?’ They both just looked at him then each other before busting out in laughter. After closing the door he took a seat next to me, wrapped one arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him as he planted a kiss on my hair. After a few minutes he said ‘I hear you had a run in with the cunt from ATF sweetie.’

‘Yeah I did, turned up at the garage I own and started asking loads of questions about SAMCRO but after I told her that I knew fuck all she tried to get to me through Alex, hence I'm here uncle Clay. The minute that bitch threatened my son I knew that as much as I didn’t want to, I had to come home and let you know, she only knew about me cause dad came to see me when I had my accident. But she is a sly one I’m telling you that bitch is ruthless. Matt had to physically take the wrench outta my hand when she brought up Alex cause I was seconds away from bashing her skull in with it.’

‘Thanks sweetie, I know is wasn’t easy for you to come here after everything that happened all those years ago and what you said to Tig when he flew to Boston, but this proves that even though you refused to see him when he came to the hospital the minute you thought that we were in trouble you didn’t hesitate to jump and a plane. Now before you say it was for the kid only we both know that even if the gash hadn’t mentioned him you would still be sitting here. Despite everything we are still your family sweetheart’ he didn’t give me a chance to respond before he dropped a kiss on my head and walked out the door.

I was still looking at the door when Gemma spoke ‘Did you forget just how well he can read people?’

‘Obviously’ I laughed ‘come on Gemma, lets get this over with before I change my mind’ I said getting up and walking towards the door. They both made their way over to the picnic benches where Chibs was busy stitching up a wicked looking cut on Happy’s cheek and the kid that had poured me my first drink was handing my dad bags of ice for his knuckles. Kozik came and stood beside me as I watched them both get patched up, once Chibs had finished the stitches Happy stood and walked straight up to me glaring at me before growling ‘we need to have a chat’.

My back went poker straight and the anger that I had came bubbling to the surface ‘listen here Lowman, remember that I am not some damn crow eater you are talking to, I gave you the option ten years ago and you made your opinion crystal fucking clear, so don’t you fucking dare take out the shit between you and my dad out on me cause believe me I will get in that damn car and go straight back to Boston. Now do you want to talk about this like fucking adults or not?’ He was still glaring at me but just nodded and walked into the club house. I followed him knowing that he would be going to his dorm but I made a detour to the bar to grab us both a couple of beers, knowing I wasn’t going to get through this with another drink but as I hadn’t eaten since this morning I knew more whiskey wasn’t the best idea. He was sitting on the end of his bed with his forehead in both palms as I shut the bedroom door and walked over to the small desk in the corner and turned the chair around to face him.

‘I brought you a beer’ I said after we had sat in silence for a few minutes.

‘Thanks’ was all I got as he looked up at me finally before getting up and started pacing before sitting back on his bed.

‘Before you say anything Hap I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you, if I hadn’t had the run in with agent cunt we both know I would never have come back here. I have been doing just fine by myself for the last decade and I don’t see that changing’ I said and the next words out of his mouth stopped me in my tracks.

‘Can I meet my son Lucy?’

I was literally speechless, I had expected him to scream and shout at me, berate me for not doing what he pretty much ordered me to do ten years ago. After a few minutes of me looking at him like I had seen a ghost he spoke again ‘Jesus Lucy say something, Kozik showed me the picture of him, I am sorry about how I handled it ten years ago but please let me meet him.’

I mentally shook myself before speaking ‘yeah you can but I am warning you Hap this has to happen on my terms, I will not have you meeting him only to decide you don’t actually want a kid, cause I swear to god I will gut you if you hurt my baby. I am staying til tomorrow so you need to have a good long think about it, you can let me know then and we can arrange it if it’s still something you want. Are we clear?’

He smirked at me before replying ‘ok mama bear, I ain’t gonna hurt your cub but you’re right I will think about it ok.’

I stood up and stood over him ‘Hap he knows who you are cause I have pictures of you all in the house but he hasn’t asked about you in years, so even if you still want to tomorrow I need to talk to him about it too ok?’

‘Yeah I get that Lucy.’

‘I will leave you the beer as I feel ya gonna need it but I gotta go talk to my dad some more before I go back to my hotel’ I said as I walked out the dorm and quietly shut the door behind me.

I waked back out to the bar area and everyone but my dad and Kozik were sitting around talking but all went silent as I walked in ‘what?’ I asked.

‘Do we need to go remove the body?’ Clay asked with a straight face.

‘What the fuck are you all talking about?’ I asked puzzled.

It was Opie who said ‘you do realise that we have never seen anyone talk to him like that when he has the murder look on his face right?’

After I finished laughing at their expressions I said ‘what you all fail to realise that I have been dealing with that exact look for the last ten years but its usually about teeth brushing and homework.’

‘Holy shit there are two of them now’ Clay muttered causing me to start laughing again.

‘Gemma want to see some pictures of Alex when he was little and gave the same look, its hilarious on a eight month old.’

‘Oh hell yeah I do.’

‘Just let me get my laptop outta the car then’ I said walking towards the door.

‘Just give the prospect your keys and he will get your bags, there is already a dorm set up for you’ Clay said giving me the look he used to when I was a bratty teenager and was about to argue with him. I simply nodded and went and sat opposite both him and Gemma next to Jax.
The prospect had just handed me my back pack and was taking my duffel to my dorm when I saw Bobby walk out of the kitchen. He stood there with an apron on and pot holders on his hands when he said ‘erm Lucy, since I am making you food how about you come here and hug me’ I just smiled at him as I walked over and threw my arms around him as he squeezed me back.

As I was pulling my laptop outta my bag I asked where my dad and Koz were and Jax informed me that they had gone for a ride together but had both said that they would be back soon. I knew that as pissed as my dad was about Koz not mentioning it he also knew I was serious about what I had said too.

I quickly found my file with all the photos on, handed my laptop to Gemma as Jax got up to sit on the arm of the sofa. Opie walked to stand next to Jax and they started looking through them.

After about thirty minutes Bobby started to come out of the kitchen carrying platters of food and it wasn’t til I got a whiff of the food that I realised just how hungry I was, but just as I was about get to up and help I heard the Skype app on my laptop ring. Gemma handed me my laptop back and when I answered it Alex face appeared on the screen grinning at me.

‘Hi baby, how was school?’ I asked knowing that by the clock on my laptop it was just after two pm here so it was just after five there and Matt had picked him up, then taken him to his kickboxing class.

‘It was good mom, but kick boxing was awesome, plus Matt said we can have something super unhealthy for dinner cause he is in charge and you cant say shit about it.’ he cackled causing the four people opposite me to burst out laughing as well as me.

‘Sounds like uncle Matt. Hey baby speaking of uncles, how would you like to see some more?’

‘Are they there mom?’ he asked as his eyes lit up with excitement as I nodded and turned the laptop around then put it on the table before standing up and walking to sit on the arm next to Clay.

‘Hey baby I would like you to meet..’ was all I managed before Alex started talking over me.

‘You’re Clay, you’re Gemma, you’re Jax and you’re Opie’ he said pointing to them causing us all to laugh. ‘My mom was right Opie you’re really tall. Is it true that when you were little you used to roll around in manure and that’s why your so fucking massive?’

All five of us lost it then even though Opie was trying to glare at me through his laughter.

‘Mom is my granddad there?’ he asked biting his bottom lip. I was not sure how to reply when Clay spoke ‘sorry little man he and your uncle Koz had to do a job for me but should be back soon. How about you go eat your unhealthy shit and your mom can call you later when the both of them get back. How does that sound?’

‘That would be awesome uncle Clay thanks. Right Mom I’m gonna go eat my weight it crap but I will call back in a few hours, love ya.’ Before I could even reply he had hung up.

‘Well I gotta say Luce for all he looks like Hap he definitely talks more.’ Opie said walking towards the bar before asking ‘who wants a beer?’ as Bobby came once again out of the kitchen putting another platter of food down and declaring that we could dig in as he was finished.

We were all still sitting around laughing and eating when Tig and Koz walked into the club house  laughing at something. Koz headed straight for the food but Tig came over to me and asked if we could go outside and talk some more. We were sitting facing each other at the same bench he was sitting on earlier when I started to speak ‘dad listen, I know we need to talk more about everything but can we try and do it without screaming at each this time?’

‘Yeah baby I think that is a good idea cause after twenty five minutes in the ring earlier with Hap my head is killing me.’ he smirked at me ‘I want you to know Lucy just how fucking  sorry I am about all the shit I said to you all those years ago. I know I keep saying  it but Christ I really am. I know I’m an asshole but I really want you back in my life, Alex too.’

‘Yeah I agree and I’m sorry too dad.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry about, this is all on me. I get why you took off the way you did but next time I’m that much of a dick try and talk to me cause I'm damned if I’m gonna lose anymore time with you ok?’

I couldn’t help the tears that ran down my face as he quickly stood up and pulled me to him, giving me the comfort that I had so desperately missed these last ten years. We simply stood there hugging but parted when the club house doors opened and Chibs told dad that Clay had called for church in five minutes. Once he went inside to join the others Gemma came out with a plate of food for me and sat opposite me on the bench.

‘So tell me’ she asked ‘is there anyone special Lucy? Kozik mentioned uncle Matt again. Are you his old lady?’

‘Not at all Gemma, we met in college even though he was a few years ahead of me. When I decided to leave Charming I called him and asked him if I could crash with him for a few days. Well, a few days turned into years and he helped me so much in the beginning. I managed to transfer to a college up there but deferred the first semester of my third year to look after Alex. We lived together til I graduated and by that point I had already managed to save some money from the custom bike business I had started. So, I bought a house and within a year we had opened the garage together with him concentrating on the car side of it and me the bikes. Who knew growing up in a garage would come in so handy?’ I couldn’t help but smirk at her.

‘I always knew you were too smart to be just a grease monkey, but I’m so proud of everything you have done. Now back to the main reason I wanted to talk without all them listening’ she said gesturing to the club house behind her. ‘What did Happy say?’

‘Well he wants to meet Alex but I told him to really think about it before I leave tomorrow cause I will not have him playing with his emotions. Alex knows that he is his dad but that he has never seen him since I left when I was pregnant. Although he is smart and mature for his age I didn’t tell him about the money he gave me to get an abortion. He doesn’t ever need to know about that. I simply told him that me and dad argued and I felt it was best that I moved away to start again with just him and me.’

‘Yeah that is something he doesn’t need to know, how did ya talk with Tig go, have both realised you are both far to stubborn?’

‘Pretty much Gemma, I have been angry for so long but I didn’t realise just how much I have missed you all til I arrived today.’ 

‘I can understand  that sweetheart, but hopefully now that you and Tig have talked we can start to be a family again. When does  summer vacation start for Alex?’

‘Two weeks, but Gemma I am not making any promises til I have talked to him about it, as much as I want him to meet you all he has to be ok with everything, especially Happy’

‘I get that’ she said just as Tig and the other’s came out of the club house and sat around us on the remaining bench’s. Happy sat the furthest away from me and never said anything but I could feel his eyes on me when I was talking to the others.

About an hour later I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out to see I had a message from Alex asking if I could Skype him again and would Tig be there too. I passed my phone to Tig who after reading it stood up and said we could go into his dorm room and do it from there.

I put my laptop on the small table in the corner and sat on the chair whilst Tig went into the bathroom and came out with a small stool then sat down bedside me but a little off to my left as I opened the app.

It only rang once before Alex’s face appeared on the screen. ‘Hi mom, I am so full, I ate a whole pizza to myself’ I could see him rubbing his tummy as he laughed.

‘I bet you are sweetie, are you in bed?’ I asked

‘Yeah uncle Matt is just sorting out the brood before they come in here to sleep.’

‘Well I have someone here who would like to say hello to you if you are awake enough’ I asked as he straight up in bed and grinned at me. I moved the laptop a little so he could see Tig sitting there.

‘Hey, you’re Tig, my granddad, I’m Alex.’

‘Hey, yeah I am.’

‘Mom said that I could call you Tig but to use Grandad when you are trying to impress the ladies so that you look creepy’ he said causing me and Tig to laugh.

‘Hey sweetie' I said getting his attention, ‘I’m just gonna be outside whilst you talk to Tig here but when it’s time for bed he will bring the laptop to me so we can say goodnight. That ok with you?’

‘Yeah mom’ he said as he looked at Tig and rolled his eyes.

As I closed the dorm room behind me I noticed Happy standing there ‘hey Hap you ok?’

‘Not really sure to be honest Luce. My whole life just changed.’

‘I get that but remember what I said earlier, you have to be sure. I won’t hold it against you if you decide against it. I mean you went ten years not knowing about him’

‘Yeah but I know now and the way I handled things when you told me was really shitty.’

‘You can’t live with regret Hap, trust me I know. When I go home to Boston tomorrow I will talk to him about it. He knew that when I came here today that it was Tig I was coming to talk to. Koz told me that you were here but I never mentioned that to him as I didn’t know how you were going to react about it from being angry, so I didn’t want to get his hopes up,’

‘Yeah I can understand that. I have a personal cell that I use for my mom but I will give you the number before you leave so you can get in contact with me after you talk to him.’

‘Sounds like a plan Hap. I’m not sure about you but after a day like today and with me being child free for the night I am going to get myself a drink.’

He smirked at me walked back to his dorm and went inside. After getting myself a drink I went outside to sit with the others. After a few minutes Tig came outside carrying my laptop. When it was on the table everyone crowded round me so there could see Alex again.

It was Chibs who said ‘Jesus is that a fucking wolf behind you’ causing Alex to snort out a laugh

‘No’ I said ‘that’s Buster and he is a English Mastiff we rescued two years ago, Alex turn your tablet round and show them the rest of your brood.’ He did slowly as he was still laughing about Chib’s comment. Now they could see the two pit bulls and a Great Dane we had all lying in a pile at the bottom of his bed.

‘Christ how big is his fucking bed?’ Opie asked.

I laughed this time and Alex said ‘Mom got me a new king size when we rescued Darcy cause she is still only a puppy and hasn’t finished growing yet.’

‘Right baby, its time for you to have your reading hour. What book have you decided on now?’

‘I haven’t decided yet but I think I am gonna start one of the ones uncle Koz bought me’ he said looking at said uncle and grinning.

‘Ok, well you have a good night and I will be there tomorrow night ok? Love you.’

‘I love you too mom, night everyone.’

After a chorus of goodnights from everyone I turned to Kozik. ‘Should I even ask how many books you loaded onto that kindle you gave him.’

‘I have no idea what your talking about.’ Was all he said as he turned and walked into the clubhouse.  We sat around talking for a few more hours but by nine when Gemma and Clay said that they were heading home I decided that I needed so sleep after the day I’d had. So, after giving everyone hugs and Gemma promising me that she would be here earlier in the morning to help make breakfast with Bobby. I crawled into bed after showering still not sure how I felt about being back in Charming after all these years.

After Lucy had decided to call it a night I went back into my dorm room after grabbing a bottle of Jack from the bar. I sat myself on the end of my bed with the bottle between my feet as I simply stared at the wall in front of me. I knew I fucked up ten years ago screaming at her the way I did especially slapping her but I was honest when he told her that she was the best thing I had ever done with my life, I loved my other daughters I really did but I had never bonded with them like I did with Lucy. It had been a shock when I was told that I had a four year daughter I knew nothing about and that if I wasn’t willing to take her that she would go into the system for the next fourteen years. I did it without hesitation even though I didn’t have a clue how to raise a kid never mind a girl. Kozik had immediately said that we could move into his house with him as it was bigger than my shitty one bedroom apartment. He really was my best friend with us both patching over together to the mother charter at the same time from Tacoma. After I had met Colleen and got her pregnant with the twins we had tried for a year to be a family, even with the two of us moving into her house just before the twins were born, but that lasted about eleven months before she decided that she couldn’t deal with the club and the life of being an old lady. She took off during the night leaving just me and Lucy again when she was nine years old. Lucy had never really liked Colleen and had loved her little sisters however, she was over the moon after we had moved back in with Kozik again telling me that it was great to have her real family back together under one roof.

Seeing her again today had very nearly taken me off my feet as she stepped out of the car ranting about the ATF gash. I had seen her once in ten years when the hospital had rang me to say that she had been in an serious car crash and that it didn’t look good for her. Without a thought I had booked the first flight out I could to Boston. Once I reached the hospital I was told that she had come out of the coma herself and that it was likely that she would make a full recovery. I watched her sleep for twelve hours and met her friend Matt before she opened her eyes and looked directly at me. It seemed to take her a few minutes to realise who she was actually looking at before she told me clearly to get the fuck out of her room and go back to Charming before closing her eyes again. Matt suggested that I get a hotel room that was across from the hospital and come back tomorrow and try and talk to her again. I simply nodded my head and walked out of the room. Still in complete shock that I was seeing her again after a decade. The next day when I went back into her hospital room was when I was pretty sure that I would never see my daughter again after having to be physically remove from her room by security.


When he walked down the hall towards her room and stopped at the door he could see she was awake properly this time and sitting up in bed before he walked in.

He walked in and she simply looked at him for a few seconds before saying ‘what the hell Tig? I thought you would back in Charming and be balls deep in some skank by now, I told you yesterday that I didn’t want you here!’

‘Jesus Christ Lucy I got a call not forty eight hours ago saying that you might not live through the night of course I would be here’.

She simply scoffed and rolled her eyes before clutching a hand to her bandaged head. ‘Really dad is that all it takes for you to want to see me again, well fuck you. I have been perfectly fine these last ten years without you so please do us both a favour and go home to your real family. I don’t want you here’

He couldn’t help the rage that over came him at being scared out of his mind that he would never get to apologise to her for all the shit he said ten years ago. ‘FUCKING HELL LUCY I MADE A MISTAKE, DOESN’T MEAN THAT I DON’T LOVE YOU WE ARE FUCKING FAMILY, OF COURSE I CAME WHEN THEY CALLED, THEY SAID THAT YOU MIGHT NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE FUCKING NIGHT. JESUS CHRIST!’

‘Really Tig family? Abandoning me ten years ago pretty much cut all fucking ties on us being a family. I got the message real quick that they were all your family and not mine. I was just the responsibility that got passed around it whilst I was living in Charming. I have a family here now that doesn’t include you or anyone from there so please just leave.’

A nurse came into the room at this point glaring at Tig before demanding to know what the hell was going on. Neither of them said anything to busy glaring at each other ‘sir I think it would be best for you to leave, she needs to rest and you screaming at her is not conductive with that.’ When he spun back and turned his glare on her she visibly shrunk and took a step back before saying she was calling security and all but scuttled back out of the room.

‘Please Tig my head is killing me, just go home I don’t want you here and you made it perfectly clear all those years ago what you really thought about me. I have made an amazing life for myself here and I think its best if we both just get back to pretending that we don’t know each other anymore.’

What killed him the most about what she said was the fact that she didn’t scream at him like she used to, she wouldn’t even look at him, simply stared at the wall over his shoulder and it was said in such a flat emotionless voice that he picked up the thing nearest to him which happened to be a vase full of flowers and threw it against the wall to his right as four guards came into the room and wrestled him out of it as she continued to look at the wall.

I was brought back out of thinking of her looking so broken lying in a hospital bed by someone knocking on my door.  I never moved just shouted what and wasn’t surprised when it opened and I saw Koz walk in shut the door behind him and come and sit next to my feet of the floor. Neither of us said a word for a good ten minutes just passed the bottle back and forth between us. When Koz had demanded earlier that we go for a ride and we pulled into a clearing ten minutes outside of Charming, Koz had simply sat on his bike as I had got off mine and paced and smoked for thirty minutes before practically pulling him off his bike to give him a hug and saying “thank you brother’ before getting back on my bike. Even after ten years of not talking and throwing insults at each other whenever our paths crossed Koz still knew when I needed to get away from everything for a while to get my head on straight.

It was me who spoke first ‘I meant what I said earlier, thank you.’

‘I didn’t do it for you but you’re welcome. When she left and you were still convinced it was me who knocked her up, she called about two weeks later. She told me where she was but made me promise not to tell not just you but anybody here. I asked Clay for a few days and he agreed cause he was sick of the tension between us. After I got to Boston and saw just what state she was in I knew then that I was going to ask Lee to be patched back into Tacoma to be there for them both but not to have to explain when I was leaving a few times a year. Lee knew that it was something to do with the whole situation but never asked about it even after all these years, would simply state that the family we had was the most important thing. Got to be honest though it still pisses me off that you would think it was me above anyone else. I have always loved her like a daughter, she is probably as close to one as I am ever going to get you asshole’ he finished with a laugh.

‘Should have known that if she was going to contact anyone from here it would have been you. I’m just glad she wasn’t alone, I know she had Matt but I mean someone from here. Shit I have missed so much. I’m such an asshole’ I said pulling a joint from inside my kutte and lighting it.

‘She never said anything after the first few months but I know she missed you, especially when Alex got a little older and started doing stuff that reminded her of you. For all he looks like Hap and is so much like him in a lot of ways he’s like the pair of you both too, especially when it comes to defending and protecting her. Wait til you meet him properly dude and I know you will. The kid is awesome and he is so much like her when she was his age. Remember when she punched that kid who was giving the younger kids shit, he did the exact same thing a few months ago but it was even worse cause he gets the same look on his face as Hap does. His face goes completely blank and he clenches his jaw the same way. Its really freaky when the kid is barely over five feet tall’ he said causing them to both laugh.

‘Right, I’m going to bed cause I have to leave to go back Tacoma in the morning, after I yell at Luce for not calling me about the gash turning up at the garage to give her shit that is’ Koz said as he got up and left the dorm for his own.

I finished my joint and decided to do the same and I simply pulled off my kutte and my boots and fell backwards onto my bed still fully clothed.

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