The Silence Between Us ✓

[32] Everything Goes Away

The next few days were much of the same – eating, sleeping, trying to convince myself I did the right thing. My mum had definitely realised I wasn't ill by this point, but I think she still thought this was some kind of disastrous hangover from my father's visit. I kept it that way – I didn't care why she was letting me stay home, I was just happy she was. I couldn't face the idea of going back to school and seeing everyone in it. They were probably all having a field day right about now; having lovely gossip sessions about me and how ridiculous it is that that photo existed, especially Mackenzie. God Mackenzie was definitely having the time of her life by this point. More reasons why I didn't want to go back to school.

I just wanted to stay here forever – to never have to go back, never have to deal with everything that had now gone so wrong. I blamed myself for everything, of course I did. If I hadn't ever tried to make friends with Noah or Katie then I wouldn't have just lost them right now, I wouldn't become so distracted and Elliot would still be replying to my messages. Of course, my father wasn't my fault but at the same time it was in his eyes. What if he was right? I didn't want to explore the possibility, and pushed the thoughts away every time my brain got too close. Thinking about that would be like ripping a plaster off too early – you don't know what's going to seep out of the wound.

"VIA!" My brother's voice rung through the house and I furrowed my brows. What was he shouting me for? I let out a long sigh as I heaved myself upright and creeped out of bed. I undoubtedly looked like a mess; my hair hadn't been washed for what felt like forever and I was still in my mismatched pyjamas. I yawned, making my way down the stairs despite the excess of sleep that I'd gotten and that's when I saw my brother by the door, a twinkle in his eye that always meant trouble.

What's going on? I asked him, rubbing my eyes. I felt like a cave dweller that had just been dragged out into the daylight. To be fair, the comparison wasn't too far from the truth

He laughed, ruffling his hair. He was still in his school uniform – it was barely four o'clock and he was too lazy to change. What could he possibly want now? I just wanted to go back to bed to avoid my problems again. That was easy. Where's mum?

"Still at work," He said it obviously and I sighed again. I wasn't in the mood for his games! Why was he doing this to me? "Ok guess what?"

Theo I can't be bothered with this! What's happening?

"Ok drama queen!" He shook his head and I folded my arms, a faint smile tugging on my lips. If anyone could make me feel marginally better, it'd be Theo. "Now, what I was going to tell you – before mum might I add just to make you feel special – is that... Phoebe asked me out and I said yes!"

He immediately bursts out laughing, and I couldn't help but at least smile. My life might be a complete and utter mess at the moment but at least his is going well. That's all you can hope for right?

"Well say something then!" He prompted me but it felt like all of the words I could use would be wrong and sound stupid. I couldn't figure out if this was just a side effect of spending so long alone in my bedroom or just that I couldn't find the same happiness he possessed. It was all so complicated and my brain brought on the familiar stabbing feeling of a headache.

Well done? I presented him with the common phrase. It was a bad attempt at a congratulation and fell flat almost immediately, leaving me regretting it. So wait she asked you out?

"EXACTLY!" It wasn't awkward again because I didn't have to reply. I didn't have to physically run the risk of saying the wrong thing and sabotaging this whole relationship just like I had with every other one out there. I tried not to digress on the whole subject of myself to avoid my blatant narcissism but my mind circled the topic like a goldfish trapped in a bowl. I couldn't escape it no matter how hard I tried. "So it was break right and she just came up to me randomly and..."