(Chapter 19) Jamais Vu

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Here we go.


You ready?

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Jungkook

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Having a soulmate was both convenient and inconvenient.

Once he was fully healed from the bruising, he felt in better shape than ever.

He was even faster, even sharper, even stronger than before.


It was convenient when his whole body was aching and his feet hurt from dancing and all of Bangtan needed time to rest, yet if she sat with him and their arms leaned together, all his pain would vanish.


It was inconvenient when she wasn't around and everyone else only needed a granola bar for some energy but he had nothing.


He had mixed feelings about the whole works of it.


He didn't really like that he depended on her for his well-being. Not only because it made him uncomfortable to need someone, but also because it made him feel self-aware.

He wondered if it made him weak, to rely on someone else.

He wondered if she thought he was weak.


But then there was also the other voice in his brain though, that did seem to take some sick pride in the fact that this was a two-way deal.

That it meant in return, she needed him.

And that was entirely different.

That made him feel good.


But then he would wonder why about that too.

Why did he like her needing him?

It felt like maybe if he went down that road, he'd come to the same place where he was asking why he seemed to get so mad at Jimin and Taehyung whenever they spoke to Soulmate and made her giggle, or made her tell them something she'd never told Jungkook before.

He didn't have an answer for that either.


He wasn't used to this, having a whole swirl of emotions he couldn't understand.

He had never had an entire swathe of thoughts in his brain that all jumbled together and he couldn't even begin to figure out.

He stopped trying to go to that place altogether, because it just made him strangely upset with Jimin and Taehyung.

And himself.


Mostly himself.


Besides, the more pressing matter was how he had to deal with the sudden pangs of thirst, or what felt like thirst, whenever she was away from him for too long.

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