Primal.

Chapter 21 - All planned out.

"Sure we can"

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You weren't sure what was wrong with you. This was the best time of your life, you were engaged, you were so happy with Nikki, but you felt this immense sadness hanging around you all the time. You guessed it was because you had nothing to fill your music void.

Nikki opened the door and closed it behind him. He shot you a smile. The toothy smirk that you could never resist and you stopped attempting to. He crawled on the bed and up you, he kissed you deeply before rolling to the side of you.

"Talk to doom and gloom. He knows all about doom..and gloom actually" You chuckled and rolled on your side so you faced him. He rubbed your cheek with his knuckle.

"I feel useless Nikki." You murmured. "Music gave me confidence, it gave me a purpose. I felt like a fucking badass. Now I'm a shell of myself"

"I promised you we would figure out the next step. I kinda neglected it and I'm sorry. But we're gonna figure it out, right now" He sat up and rested against the headboard.

"It's my responsibility you shouldn't be sorry.." He hushed you and handed you your notebook.

"If you're not in a band, you should be writing songs. You're a writer." Nikki said and you laughed until you realised he was serious.

"You helped us, you helped..those guys" He said rolling his eyes. "I think you should write for the big names."

"In the meantime..Mick wants your help. He's got a vision, but wants you to help him" Nikki moved some hair out your face.

"Are you just saying that? Does Mick actually need my help? I mean it's Mick" You asked and Nikki chuckled.

"Mick gets there in the end, but he feels with you, you can help speed up his creative process. He's listened to some bands you suggested and wants to do a grungey heavier song." Nikki explained.

"I can do that" You said with a nod. "I can help."

"One more thing, before you try and take advantage of me and we end up having sex rather than talking.." Nikki said flashing you a grin. "Why are you so uncomfortable with yourself?"

"I'm not uncomfortable with myself. But I'm very aware of who I am and who you are" You stated with a shrug.

"And who are we then?"

"You're Nikki Sixx. You've been with pornstars, groupies, dancers, actresses. You've seen and experienced it all. You are larger than life. I was with a guy for ten years and he left me for someone who's very normal very plain. So if he can do that, what's stopping you from leaving me for someone who gets the spotlight, who is as big as you? Stars get with other stars. That's how it works baby" You explained sadly. Nikki looked at you, hurt written across his face.

"You are larger than life..I hate to break it to you babe, but you're a star. And you are the most beautiful, sexy, intelligent woman I have ever been with. You're out of this world. Do you think that all those girls you listed I ever spent more than a couple weeks with at a time?" He said staring at you.

"Do you think I put time into chasing them around for weeks, months, begging for their attention?" He laughed sadly. "You're the only person who sees me for me. You don't shy away when I'm being an asshole, or bitch at me if I'm unhappy. You are the only person I can stand to be around."