rambling rose - (Levi x Reader)

16. decision

"The terms are set then Y/N will sit downstairs, Levi will sit upstairs and Mr. Squid will be placed directly in between them." Erwin read off of a sheet of scrap paper that we had hastily scribbled a contract onto.

Sounds good to me I guess.

"Ok then since both of you seem to be in agreement with these terms I'll have you sign here," he finished off passing the paper to us.

Mr. Squid will choose me anyway because he loves me the mostest!

"Here sign," Levi muttered handing me a pen.

How do I know that pen isn't covered in cat repellent????

"Lawyer pass me the good pen," I demanded opening my hand.

We can't risk getting any nasty germs from Levi hands.

"Here you go Y/N," Hanji handed me a pen we had picked up at the bank earlier.

Ok Levi I agree to your terms time for you to lose.

"Both of you go to the spots we decided on earlier," Erwin said moving to stand in the halfway point with a confused Mr. Squid.

It's ok baby don't be scared.

"You're going down Mr. Windex," I taunted turning on my heel.

You're going the wrong way.

"You're going the wrong way brat," L*evi called after me.

I KNOW THAT SHUT UP.

"NO YOU ARE SHUT UP STINKER," I scoffed turning around my head held high even though I had just screwed up.

Wow a queen who bounces back after she falls? We love that sexy confidence.

"Ok are the two of you ready?" Erwin shouted at the two of us.

YES COME HERE SQUIDDY.

"WAIT!" Levi screamed down the stairs, "I'm thirsty."

IM COMING.

"Y/N he wants water not you."

OH MY GOD ERWIN YOU M I N D READER IM SO.

"Oh."

Wait.

"But if one of you goes up there you could slip him a wet wipe or something that Mr. Squid loves which is cheating- a dirty cheater move." I pointed out looking into the kitchen where Eren was filling up a glass of water.

I wouldn't put it past them.

"You really think I would do that?" Levi called down.

I don't think that you wouldn't not do it.

"Eren just let Mikasa take it up," Erwin groaned.

Much better.

"Wait what if Mikasa laces the water with cat repellent both killing Levi and making it look like Mr. Squid chose her and then Levi died of loneliness." Eren interjected holding the glass of water away from Mikasa.

Dang he's right Mikasa you should do that.

"Then both of you just come up," Levi called down agitation lacing his words.

Sounds good but I can't agree with you just yet.

"Wait if they get up there Eren and Levi can gang up on her because she's siding with me I don't want her to get hurt."

Mikasa can probably fend for herself but I'm being stubborn.

"She could suplex Eren in .5 seconds just let them bring up the water," Levi replied coolly.

"I just don't want her to get hurt she's too precious to me <3"

"Precious my ass."

"Your ass certainly is precious tater tot man."

"Just shut up and bring me water before I die of thirst." He snorted his voice ringing through the house.

Ok fine.

Mikasa and Eren retreated up the stairs with a large glass of water both of them exchanging confused looks.

You young people don't understand but this is a classic way of flirting that has been taught to me by many ancient works of fanfiction I know what I'm doing.

"Thank you for the water it took awhile to get here I WONDER WHY." Levi screamed down the stairs.

OK SHUT UP WE GET IT YOU'RE CRAZY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.

"OK LEVI YOU HAVE YOUR WATER LETS START THIS THING," I shouted back completely ignoring his previous statement.

IM GONNA WIN HA HA HA.

"Sure get ready to lose," he retorted slamming the glass of water down on the banister.

MR SQUID DOESN'T LIKE LOUD NOISES IT'S AN INSTANT WIN BABY.

"nO YOU GET READY TO LOSE YOU LOOSER," I hollered back rolling up my sleeves.

Mr. Squid only likes my loud noises- he makes a big exception.

"Ok you two get ready I'll be releasing him in ten seconds speak now or forever hold your peace," Erwin paused looking at the two of us.

Unlike Levi I don't need water to survive I just need love.

Wow you must be dying right now.

Shut up I still love me.

"Ok I'm setting him down," Erwin shouted his voice echoing through the silent house.

Yes set the baby down so he can come to me.

'I'm ready to go to Y/N!1!!1!11' Mr. Squids soft meows spoke to me as he was set down gently.

And I'm ready for you to come to me babie!

"Mr Squid has entered the arena! On either end are two of his biggest fans- Y/N in the living room and Levi upstairs!!!" Hanji pulled out a rice paddle and started to make a play by play analysis of the situation.

Mr. Squid barely looks in Levi's direction heading directly toward Y/N!

"...Mr. Squid looks around trying to find out where his suitors are!"

IM RIGHT HERE!

"Y/N waves her hand in the air like she just doesn't care, Mr. Squid glances over at her and begins to walk in the other direction! This is a huge upset as Mr. Squid was originally Y/N's cat she'll be absolutely devastated if he chooses Levi who he has only known for ONE DAY over her!"

You know Hanji I really like you but the way you went into detail in that last one makes me question it all.

"Mr. Squid continues to walk away from Y/N leaving her gorgeous self an ugly crying mess," Hanji continued to narrate her descriptions hitting closer and closer to home.

HANJI WHY.

"Hang on ladies and gentlemen I need to get upstairs to get a closer look at what's happening!" Hanji shouted dashing away from me.

Mr. Squid I thought you loved me-

"Levi is holding Mr. Squid- he wins and now has custody over the cat! Y/N how are you feeling?"

This can't be.

I closed my eyes- I was ready to end this all. 

__________________________
LEVI IS A STINKY BUTT
-AI