That's why I..

Chapter Seventeen

Lexa POV

I drift off to sleep, wary after my breakdown. Clarke is so good to me, I truly do not deserve her.

The commanders before me speak to me in my sleep, often when they have an important message or peice of incite to give me about how to govern. Usually they are peacful dreams but tonight is different.

Tonight I see Becca Pramheda. I watch her land and try to help the survivors of the bombs. I see her make peace and unite the people in order to survive, much like I did with the coalition. Suddenly I see the men who captured her and tortured her because they thought that she was practising witchcraft. They extracted the chip from her neck and when they saw her blood they burned her at the stake. I feel the heat of the fire burning slowly starting at the soles of my feet and suddenly I am Becca Pramheda. Burning to death physically but trapped inside the flame at the same time, screaming for someone to stop this. Someone does, they pull me out of the flames and I am severely scorched but alive. I look up to see my rescuer. Costia? The man who burned me then appears out of thin air and shoots a gun. "Love is Weakness" he yells "Everyone you have ever loved will die because of you" the face of the man morphs into the face of Titus. Anger fuels the last of my energy and I throw my dagger at him, only it doesn't penetrate him it soars straight through him and embeds itself in whatever is behind him. Titus' figure dissipates and there stands Clarke, knife penetrating her heart. She falls to the ground, dead. I try to get up but I can't move. Suddenly I am transported back in the fire, just like I had never been pulled out in the first place. I suddenly realise something, Becca did die in the fire that night. And so did I.

I bolt awake, sweating and panting with stress. Clarke wakes up as soon as I do this and within seconds she is by my side, calming me down. She manages to slow down my breathing to an acceptable rate so that I can explain but before I can Clarke speaks up "Was it the Commanders again? Speaking to you in your sleep" I forgot that this has happened with Clarke before, just after I created jus drein nou jus daun (blood must not have blood).

"Yes. I saw Becca, her death, and then I was her, dying in a ball of fire. Then I was saved only to watch the only two people I have ever love die in front of me. Then I died in the fire" Tears escape my eyes as I recount my dream. "It is a message. Love may not be weakness but when I love people they die. I can't let you die, Clarke"

"That's not true Lexa and you know it. When you love someone, life is good. They only die because selfish people don't like the fact that nothing bad has happened for a while. It is NOT your fault. And if you think I'm going to go anywhere just because you had some dream that because you love me I am going to die, you are so very wrong because I, Clarke Griffin am never going to leave you Lexa. Not till the day I die." Clarke replies and I cry more.

We lay back down in the same position we were in before and I struggle to fall back asleep. Clarke notices this and starts to play with my hair to calm me. When this still doesn't work she begins to hum a soft and soothing tune. "Ai hod Yu in (I love you)" I whisper up at her just before my eyes close and I fall back asleep.

Writers note: little bit of a shorter chapter sorry guys. I go back to school tomorrow and I'm gonna cry for sure. School sucks!!! In other news, I got my first vote last night. Tbh I have no idea what a vote does but I think it's pretty epic so huge shout out to @IleenParan for my vote. Thank you so much for reading. Let me know what you think of the story so far. I think for the next chapter I'm going to skip forward to Titus' death and then maybe head back to arkadia so we can get some more characters involved in the story. Anyway, let me know what you think. Keep on being awesome!