Kabanata 39

2.7K 73 11
                                    

Kabanata 39

A little scrap of hope remained within me. Despite the dread that rolled over to the pit of my stomach, I managed to dash off just so I can ask some help from our neighborhood. Tears dribbled from my eyes as I taking my pace down to the possible and nearest house. I stopped in the house of Aling Martha and they trotted together with me toward our house. As we ran my Mother's unconscious body to the hospital, the Doctor declared that she was dead on arrival. They tried their best as I have seen them making some retrieval actions but then it was all futile. But then, the urge to ask for more actions as the montage of pictures with my family attacked my mind. My tirade mortified me as I realized that I just need to accept what was happened. What would I do to pacify myself? I don't know.

Why do I need to be alone like this? I thought they would be at my side as I face the challenge of being a Mother? Why they left me all alone? The fragments of my broken heart were slowly pulverized. It was too painful that I have to close my eyes and reclined on the wall behind me. When I felt that I was okay to go and see the corpse of my Mother, I stood straight as I ambled into the room. I can't even take a glance on her face because it was making me melancholic but I forced myself to do so. I scrutinized every parts of her face. This will be the last time I could see her bare face because once her body was transferred to the morgue, there will be changes.

My Mother was beautiful. As what the other people say, I got most of my features from her. Her deep expressive eyes, upturned narrow nose, thin pinkish lips, obscure freckles on the bridge of her nose. She was really beautiful. Ang sabi nila ay kasing ganda ko siya ngunit hindi ako naniniwala. She was more beautiful than me.

As I stared on her face, I couldn't help but to cry again. I had loved my parents more than anyone else. But I know that I need to accept the fact they were not be able to stay at my side anymore, though I know that they will stay in my heart. They may not be present physically but I know that they will guide me throughout the process of this lifetime.

A moment later, Ronan, Lia, and Tana abruptly went in the room as the nurses prepared my Mother to take to the morgue. My friends immediately wrapped me with their arms as I wailed again and again. Dang it, I don't really like the feeling of being pitied of. I wanted to feign okay, I wanted to wear a facade but I couldn't do it when they can burst the bubble of protection around me, making me show what I really feel. Tana and Lia condoled as they hugged me repeatedly. Ronan on the other side kept his eyes on me. I willed myself to smile but I could not tuck even the other side of my lips.

Mabuti nalang at narito ang aking mga kaibigan para daluhan ako sa panahong sa tingin ko ay hindi ko na kaya. I was wrecked-havoc and helpless due to my losses and to have them at my side was giving me the urge to fight for this lifetime and I can do parenting alone. When we transferred my Mother to the morgue, Tana and Lia had gone to the store to buy me a food. Ronan and I were left alone in the hallway.

"I hope you will be okay," he said sincerely.

"I need to. I have a child."

"Yeah," he smiled but I know that there was a hidden sadness behind that smile.

Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa nangyayari, I was slowly considering his offer of marriage. What if I married him? He was good and I knew that he will be a good Father to my son. Dang it, ano ba itong iniisip ko? In time like this, I should not be thinking about that! I needed to repel that thought right now and focus on my Mother.

"Bakit kailangan kong maranasan ang mga ganitong sakit, Ronan?" my voice quivered.

"There are times you think it's unjust or unfair. Honestly, natanong ko na rin 'yan, Hera." he smiled at me, "But those pain... in spite of the fact that they had hurt you physically, emotionally, and mentally, it was of great teacher to craft us to be tougher and stronger. Pain is a brutal teacher, it teaches you lot of things in a way that no one wanted to experience. It was excruciating, indeed but the lessons you learned are for lifetime."

Concupiscent (Good Pleasure Series #3)Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon