That's why I..

Chapter Fifteen

Clarke POV

I am stunned by what just happened. I have never seen Lexa so angry before. I thought she was going to kill him right then and there. I wasn't scared though. Actually I thought it was kinda cute that she got so angry because of how someone treated me. Lexa notices my shock and decides staying quiet for a while before saying anything to give me time to think and process. I am thankful for her understanding. She does not speak until we are at the top of the staircase and about to enter the elevator. "That will give him a little bit of incentive"

I am at a loss for words. How could she feel nothing for Titus. From what I believe he practically raised her. He was her teacher. She has always been close with him and she just sentenced him to death. Again.

I start to worry that she is just putting on a face for me. That perhaps she is actually suffering on the inside. "Lexa I-"

"Clarke. If this is about what just happened, I would like to respectfully stop you there. Let's go eat. We were there for a long time. If you still wish we may talk about it once we are back in our room after lunch." Lexa interrupts. She used her commander voice on me. Something is certainly wrong. I will respect her wishes though and talk about it after lunch.

Lunch is delicious but rather quiet. We missed lunch with the Ambassadors of the 12 clans so we ate alone. We sit in silence until I think of something to say that is not about Titus. Normally Lexa would make conversation but she is oddly quiet too. Something is definitely up.

"Gia seemed very young. She is a child. How can anybody expect someone so young to have a role so crutial." I question curiously.

Lexa tilts her head at me, looking almost confused at my statement. "She is 9 years old Clarke. She is older than most that get trained for jobs with responsibility like hers" My surprise at her statement must show through into my face because she continues to explain. "This must be another custom that is different than Skaikru. We believe that jobs with high stakes and responsibility should be taught to the youngest possible to learn. This means that they will be well practised at this job when they are still young and will be masters in their fields while they are still young and able to teach the next. Take Titus for example. He is not old or cenile yet and is very capable of teaching a child, yet he has been fleimkepa for over 40 years" This thinking does make sense to me and I nod, taking in all the information I just received. My mind then drifts to the poor children who are robbed of the fun that childhood is about far too early. They would barely get to play with their friends, I doubt that they would even have friends. This brings one question to my mind.

"Lexa?" I say hesitantly, not knowing if it is rude to ask.

"Do not be afraid, ai hodnes (my love) you may ask me anything you please"

"How old were you when you became Heda?" I ask and Lexa shoots me a look as too ask if I want the long answer. I nod slightly and she begins her story.

"Heda's stray from this rule slightly. You cannot simply replace a Heda when you find a suitable young child to teach. You must have a night blood child and the previous Heda has to have died before a new Heda can ascend. Your ability to become Heda rests on how long you have been training to fight, and therefore how well you will perform in the conclave. I was lucky. I was found to have night blood as soon as I was born so I was taken to Polis straight away to be raised and taught by Titus. As soon as I could walk I was taught to fight. I was the youngest in my group of novitiates by at least 3 years. I trained and learnt to fight for almost 5 years before the Heda died. I succeeded in the conclave as you know and ascended as Heda. I was 6 almost 7."

She was 6 and she was forced to kill all of her friends and family she had ever known or be killed by them instead. Float me, I would not have been able to do that.