This is the first time I ever post any such thing online. I'd like some feed back on how well I did, please. And please go through the whole thing till the end.
one more thing; the idea of the first chapter is my sister's, so shout out to you lil sis ;)
Chapter 1: How the pain started.
A blue Chevy camaro and a shiny black dodge charger racing through the busy main street. The dodge was behind trying to catch up with the midnight blue Chevy, darting between the civilian cars and dodging pedestrians. it's wheels spitting pebbles while it zig-zags it's way between the cars. It crosses a red traffic light.
wheels screeching and cars stop to make way, the Chevy is still leading. one of the Chevy's passenger leans out of the car window, a gun in each hand. he aims for the black car's driver and pulls each trigger multiple times. Miss, miss, hit, miss, hit, miss. He curses that only two of the bullets he fired harmed the car, one pierced through the car's hood, and the other through the glass. it had missed the driver, who was fast enough to duck, by no more than an inch.
Both cars keep pushing their way through the slightly jammed streets, the reflection of the street lights on the cars' hood flickers on and off until it swiftly turns into a thin red line on both of the cars as they cross another red traffic light.
The charger was catching up with the camaro, the distance between them closing up to two feet. The driver of the latter pushes closer to the rain-drop coated black car, making it drift off of the right track.
The dodge driver loses control over the car, it spins half a circle before crashing into a white Mercedes.
The Mercedes gets pushed off the road, flips in the air, lands on its top, and slides, splashing water on some of the pedestrians that were running for their lives, until it finally hits a parked truck.
The dodge goes off after the Chevy, still exceeding the speed limit. It's roaring engine declaring that this won't be a peaceful night.
But this is not about the cars, not about the people driving them, this is about Jasmine. Who at this moment was coughing blood, gasping for air, heat rising around her, arms crossed over her stomach and fingernails digging in her hips, trying to make sense of all this sudden pain.
so, what do you guys think so far??