Chapter 1

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Chapter 1) The Beginning

I honestly can't believe she would do this to me. What could she possibly be thinking? How could moving to the middle of no where be good for me?

My thoughts were of coarse directed at my mother or at least someone who said they were my mother. The person who raised me since birth and the one who just shipped me off to my grandmother's house obviously weren't the same person. They couldn't be. I was torn from thought when the person next to me bumped my leg while stretching.

"Sorry." The boy looked about my age and had an embarrassed smile when he spoke.

"It's okay." I replied while still looking out the plane window missing home and resenting my mother with a burning passion. As sad as it is those were the only emotions I'd even been able to feel after the accident so when I started blocking out my mom she was actually relieved that I was feeling something.

"Um..." He waited until I looked at him again before he continued.

"Are you okay? You've been really quiet this whole trip and look kinda sad or maybe pissed." I looked at this complete stranger with the eyes that even my best friend can't stand to look into anymore. People say they used to be full of life but now they're soulless and full of grief.

"Do you honestly want to know?" Most people think I come off as sweet, innocent, and I was until someone says the wrong thing to me. The boy nodded slowly as if to say 'Yeah if I didn't want to know why would I ask you?' I close my eyes for about a second then my lift my head and give him a stare that usually scares the hell out of people. Part sad and part angry.

"My sister and dad just died and now my mother is sending me to a relatives house. She says it's to cope, that the fresh air will be good for me but I think that she just couldn't take it anymore." Now the boy looked confused and asked

"Couldn't take what?" I smile the grim little grin I've used thousands of times since everything had happened.

"That one of her daughters is dead and the other just stood there, letting it happen."

He was shocked and I blocked any noise around us with the sound of Escape The Fate. I've heard too many 'I'm so sorry' or 'you poor thing' in the past month to even care anymore. Two hours later we land in a Wisconsin airport and I resist putting on my heavy sweater. Some how it just feels like I'm giving in, but I change my mind as soon the flight attendant opens the door letting in the cold Winter wind.

Walking down the steps I find my grandma right away. She isn't exactly the Grammy type. No knitting sweaters or blankets or that kind of thing but, she is one the best grandmothers anyone could ever want. I hug her and she grabs the small bag I have with me. We walked across the parking lot to a huge black truck.

"When did you get this gram?" She wasn't technically my grandma but she was my step-dad’s mom and since he was in my life since I was about 3 I always considered her my family. Not to mention she's the only one I have because my mom's parents died before I was even thought of.

"This?" She patted the steering wheel. "Last month that old car of mine almost dragged me off the road and I figured I needed something that I could trust more." She smiled at me but I couldn't smile back. "Your mom's been telling me about how you're handling all this and I don't think it's right." I look at the women sitting across from me and reply very seriously.

"What's not right? I'm not doing anything." Gram just stares ahead and keeps talking

"That's my point you're not doing anything. Jesse and Derek wouldn't have wanted it this way, they would've wanted us to go on living." I keep looking out the window as we speed past trees getting ready to lose their leaves. Red , gold, pink, green, brown. All the colors blend together smoothly into a giant blur. When Winter fully sets in all the leaves will fall and be raked, bagged and thrown away or burned.

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