Chapter Eleven

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Lexa POV

"Titus!!!!" Clarke practically yells. She rips her hand from where it was clutching mine and freezes on the spot. I urge her to come inside so that we can discuss this further without the general public hearing. Clarke, thankfully, understands where I am coming from and agrees to come inside with me. She stands significantly further away from me than usual and instead of smiling when she sees me looking at her, she tries to hide her wincing at walking unaided. She mustn't have realised how much I have been supporting her weight all day.

"Clarke" I make my way over to her to help her stand without pain while I continue. "Please let me help you, at least just until we get to somewhere where you can lay down. I hate to see you in pain. Please." I am practically begging her at this point. She can obviously hear the desperation in my voice because she begrudgingly accepts. The trip up the elevator and back to our room is silent and I am worried that I have ruined things with Clarke. I knew it was a bad idea to want to take Clarke with me.

Once we are inside my-our bedroom and Clarke has sat down, I prepare myself for the oncoming attack of words from Clarke, but instead Clarke breaks down crying. I rush over to the bed where she is sitting and hold her tightly in my arms. She burrows her face into my chest and I can feel her tears drenching my shirt. I pull her closer, kiss her forehead and hum a soothing tune, the tune of a song that my parents used to sing me when I was upset or couldn't sleep.

We sit in this position for what seems like an eternity although I do not mind. By the time Clarke sits up she is shaking with distress. It is clear she has something she wants to say so instead of pulling her back into my arms I take her hand in mine to support her. She takes a deep breath to calm herself down she finally speaks "I am sorry I reacted harshly to your proposition but I hate him. He tried to kill me and yet still walked away from a fight with the commander with his life. He knew you couldn't kill him that is why he did it. But I don't care that he tried to kill me, I am very used to that by now. I don't even care that he tried to kill me in the one moment since we landed here I wanted to live. I care that he made my beautiful, strong girlfriend, whom I love dearly, mourn for me like I WAS dead. He made you sit on the ground cradling my body all night with tears streaming down your face. He made you miss almost every meal for a week. He made you sleep in a chair next to me while you held my hand. He made you do all of this while still having to look strong in front of everyone because if you showed even an ounce of grief of sadness, his stupid teachings of love is weakness would be right even though they are not. I care because he hurt you and is still alive to tell the tale"

She must have spoken to Octavia to know the truth about how broken I was during the week she was asleep. This time it is not her who breaks down crying, it is me. Clarke holds me tight and inbetween sobs I manage to mutter "hodnes nou laik kwelness (love is not weakness)" In response Clarke kisses me on the head and says "No it's not. Love is strength but you don't have to prove that to me okay? I do not think you are ever weak and you need to let me know what you are feeling sometimes otherwise you may explode like a candle if you try and light it.. I don't know where I'm going with this I was just trying to make you laugh." Her reponse does make me chuckle. After a while I manage to collect myself enough to address the subject at hand. Titus.

"I know you are angry Clarke. I am too and as soon as he has trained a new fleimkepa he is set for execution by either yours or my hand. I would like you to come with me to see him to prove our strength. Although he has torn both of us down, we are strong because we are united and I would like him to see that."

Clarke nods at my statement and thinks about it for a while before kissing me on the forehead and saying "Alright I'll do it, but only if you let me draw you in my sketchbook. The only drawing I have of you is that one where you are sleeping but it's not finished and not very good"

I chuckle at her words and accept willingly. She does know that she can draw me whenever she wants I would love to be her model.

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