183 15 26

A male hypnotist ended up in the hospital with multiple injuries. They interviewed a witness on what happened during the show.

Police: So, can you tell us what happened?

Witness: So we were watching a hypnotist doing his show, all is going well. He asked for volunteers from the audience to participate.

He called one guy & hypnotized him, commanded him "*bark like a dog!*" and the man barked like a dog.

To another one, he did the same thing & commanded him "*tweet like a bird*" and he tweeted like a bird.

Now, he upped the ante and called 5 men from the audience & he hypnotized them. When they were hypnotized, he was going down the stage seemingly to complete the act, but he slipped going down the stair & blurted out "*oh, fuck me!*" What happened next was the most horrific thing i have ever seen officers

What does the grim reaper and a pedophile have in common? They both take people before their time.

My GF was brutal when we moved. Told me anything not used in the past 6 months had to go... I just looked down and gave my condolences. 

Today, I accidentally came across an orgy full of schizophrenics. I was fucking insanity.

A cannibal went to an orgy... he really enjoyed it. In fact he had a ball! 

What do you call an orgy in Alabama? A family reunion

Book of Sadistic Jokes/Puns and Masochistic Jokes/PunsRead this story for FREE!