Chapter 51

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-A few weeks later-
I grab the needle from my nightstand and shoot up. I feel the warm comfort of the high hitting me and smile. I decide I should treat myself to more than just heroin. I leave my house and got a cab to a club. I sit down at the bar and order a few shots. I swallow them all down in a matter of seconds and feel a hand on my shoulder, and I turn to see a guy. He looked familiar, "Hey, can I buy you a drink?" He asks me. I smile and nod, "that would be great."  I say to him. He sits down, "my name is Bradley." He says. I start to think back to when I was Carmen and remember him from being with him in a few of my music videos, "you're a model right?" I ask him. He smiles and nods, "and you're a singer correct?" He asks me. I nod and we begin to talk for a bit after a few more drinks we go to the dance floor and dance together to some of my old songs. He seemed to really like Gods and monsters. After a bit he offered me to come back to his place to smoke crack and weed and I of course excepted. When we got to his place we did crack and started the weed when Bradley kissed me. I kissed back and we end up on his bed. Next thing I know I'm naked and pulling off his clothes as well as he thrusts his fingers into me. Then I'm riding him and we're both smoking we switch and now he's on top fucking me senseless until we both cum. He pulls out of me and tells me I'm an amazing fuck kissing my cheek. I thank him and mumbled out a "You too..." before I crash.
-the next morning-
I wake up and turn to cuddle with Abel only to find a different man next to me, "w-what?"I mumbled out confused I open my eyes more and see it's Bradley and I shake my head, what happened last night? I think as I get out of bed only to feel like I'm gonna puke. I run to where I guessed the bathroom would be and puked into Bradley's toilet. After a few more times I felt a little better so I went back to the bedroom and got dressed quickly wanting to leave before he woke up. I was successful and called a cab to bring me back to my place. When I get there I see Abel's car in the driveway and sigh slightly, this will not end well. I go in and don't see him. I brush it off, whatever. I go upstairs and see Abel sitting on my bed holding my heroin needle, "hey babe." I say to him, "what the fuck is this?!" He says to me angrily, "nothing fuck off." I mumbled pushing him aside to go to the bathroom, "I thought we talked about this Carmen?" He says to me as I go into the bathroom, "no you fucking yelled at me for it doesn't mean I listened." I say slamming the door in his face, "what the fuck Carmen!" He says through the door, "mind if I take a god damn piss?" I yell at him through the door. None of this was helping my fucking migraine, "Lizzy...w-why are you doing this...y-you know I'm here for you..." He says through the door. I sigh as I flush the toilet then washing my hands. I look at myself in the mirror and see that I'm a mess. I shrug and decide it was best to wipe off my makeup doing so, "Carmen...I love you." Abel says. I open the door and see him standing in front of me, "what happened to you last night?" Abel asked me looking into my eyes, "where were you?" He asks me more persistent this time, "none of your fucking business." I mumbled pushing past him to gather my heroin supplies and put it away, "Carmen this has to stop, the drugs and drinking have to stop." He says grabbing one of my wrists. I look up at him and his eyes widen as he looks to my neck, "what's this?" He says rubbing his hand over my neck, I push at him but he stops me, "you're fucking cheating again aren't you?" He asks me angrily. "Shut the fuck up, you just think I'm a fucking whore don't you?" I say to him feeling myself become angrier, "Elizabeth just fucking tell me, do you even love me anymore?" He asks me, "fuck you Tesfaye!" I say pushing him, "so that's a fucking no then isn't it?!" "Abel shut up!" I scream at him, "if you don't love me why are you still here?!" "I do love you Abel stop!" I yell at him then walking away from him, "where are you fucking going?!" He yells at me following me downstairs. We get to my kitchen and I grab a beer, "yeah that's right fucking drink it's what you do best." Abel mumbles. I sigh angrily ad I open it and take a swig, "you're killing yourself." He says to me. "I died a long time ago." I say back, "you've got an answer for everything don't you Ms. Grant?" "Yeah basically." I say with a smirk. He sighs and shakes his head, "im sick of the drugs Lizzy, I'm sick of worrying about you and hoping you'll survive, Lizzy I just want you to be safe and I want to protect you..." He says to me, "you don't need to fucking protect me Abel I'm an adult." I say to him taking another dink of my beer. Abel comes over to me; "Lizzy...tell me what happened last night, why weren't you with me?" He asks. I divert my gaze from him and look at the floor, "Lizzy...i-it was our anniversary yesterday." He tells me, "w-what?" I say to him worriedly, "we started dating seven years ago from yesterday." He says sadly. The guilt I had from last night turned itself up significantly. I begin to cry and hug Abel, "I'm so sorry..." I say to him, "what did you do Carmen?" He asked me again his voice cold and forceful, very different from his usual velvety loving voice, I look into his eyes and he knew. He shook his head and turned away from me, "A-Abel wait please!" I say tears streaming down my face, "baby we were both high he invited me back to his place to do more drugs and I agreed one thing led to another and-" "did you let him..." He mumbles, "was it rape?" He asks me. I bite my lip and looked up at him, "Abel I-" He sighs angrily, "just get the fuck out..." He mumbles angrily, "Baby-" "I don't wanna see you right now Lana! Just leave! Go to your fuck buddy and use him from now on!" He yells at me. I begin to cry again and run to my car. I drive to a convenience store and buy some cigarettes and beer then slowly walking back to my car I decide to smoke outside and lean against the car pulling one out. I light it and take a shaky drag. Still letting out sobs but drying my tears away. I take out my phone and send a text to Abel, it said I'm sorry and I sent it. He read it but didn't respond I started typing again but felt a hand over my mouth and my eyes open wide and I look over to see my ex, Adam holding a gun to my side, "just come with me, I don't want you to regret it lana." He says. I nod and follow him to his car, as we get closer I see my vision become blurred and feel myself pass out.
"I can't believe I trusted her, I can't believe I was gonna ask her to marry me I'm so fucking stupid." I say to myself placing the small velvet box on the counter. I waited for Carmen all night yesterday. I asked her out for our anniversary and bought the ring a few days later after thinking about it for a long time. I wanted us to be together and I thought we were doing good, she didn't drink or anything for a while actually. I sigh and grab the ring about to leave the house when I get a text from Carmen,
I'm sorry
I sigh and roll my eyes but see the 3 dots telling me she wasn't done. Then they stopped. I sighed and locked my phone and go to my car.

Carmen | Lana Del Rey x The Weekend |Read this story for FREE!