nineteen

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Regret washed over me the moment i ever so slightly open my eyes and let the light from my window peak through. The piercing ache rammed at my head like my brain had been replaced by a bull; and it was angry. My body ached and I felt sick to my stomach, literally like i could vomit any moment. I jumped out of bed running towards the bathroom as fast as possible and throwing myself at the toliet. I could feel the aching increase as I threw my head into the toliet, and it seemed to me that i just empitied the contents of my stomach.

Whenever I had drunken before it was never this bad. I used to get so shit face waisted that I would wake up in random place miles and miles away from my home. I now definitely remember why I stopped drinking so much. Sure, it was fun when you were so drunk you don't know where you are, but once you wake up with that killer headache and that pain in your stomach you always regretted it. I regret it now more than I ever will. I was afraid to move from the toliet. I was afraid of my family finding. Afriad of what Calum would do. I don't know why I did this, I just snapped.

"Garland Rose, c-can I come in." Calum knocked on the bathroom door that I some how shut before spewing my guts. MY hands shook as Calum opened the door, I knew he could be mad. Hell, I would be pissed. I had lied-  okay well not really lying, more like not tell him- about a really serious thing. I could have gotten really hurt last night; but I can't even remember anything. "How are you?" Calum says sitting on the floor next to me and rubbing my back with his hands. I could feel the warmth from his hands soothe my soar and achy back just by gently rubbing it. 

"I feel like shit." I mumble laying my head on the gross rim of the toliet. My stomach was twisting and turning in different directions and my body wasn't okay with it, I could feel myself getting sicker but nothing came up. Just an ache that flew through my soar body. 

"Crazy night?" Calum jokes pushing some hair out of my face. "Garland Rose, why didn't you tell me?" Calum stated becoming serious very quickly. I could see it in his eyes that he was hurt, he has told me so much- except why he was here- and he trusted me, sorta. I knew, I just knew he was gonna ask this. As much as I didn't want to tell him, the only way we can get passed this is to talk it out. 

"I-I don't know Cal, why don't you tell me why you were sent here?" I questioned, agruing with him a bit. I didn't want to talk about it, I knew I had too but I don't want to. I could feel myself begininng you shake badly, this had been occuring a lot lately since I stopped taking my meds. I knew I shouldn't have stopped taking them but they made me feel gross. I was always sad and annoyed and I never wanted to do anything.

"Garland we aren't talking about that right now we are talking about you." Calum growled and stopped rubbing my back. He got up and leaned on the counter not looking at me at all, just focusing on the wall. He was pissed I could feel his vibes from the toliet. He was as much defense over why he came here, as I was about my drinking problem. But I was open to talk about it, if Calum told me. He knew my secret, the biggest and only secret I've not told a ton of people. It's scary and scarring and I just don't want him to run away from me. I'm so far deep with him that I don't want this to change anything between us. Everything was so much a month ago and now look as us. We're a wreck.

"No, we are talking about this right now Calum. You just learned, probably the biggest secret inmy life and you want to hide your small secret?" Calum grunted still not looking at me. I stood up angry. "I've almost died because I was too scared to tell my so called friends that I didn't want to do drugs. I got addict because I was to stupid to think it all through. I will probably never be able to go near alcohol again with out some thing like this happening again. Why can't you just tell me?" I whimper, I've been so emotional because I wasn't taking my stupid medicine and I can really tell that it's not a good thing. "Cal, a relationship can't work if the trust is one sided." I whispered, hurt. "Please."

"You really wanna know why I'm here." Calum said, moving away from the sink so I could brush my teeth. I nodded with the tooth paste cover tooth brush sticking out of my mouth. Calum was silent for a few minutes, seeming to collect his thoughts in a reason he should really tell me. I finished brushing my teeth and rinsed out my mouth before I sat on the counter facing Calum who waas leaning on the wall behind me. "fuck." He muttered. "Okay, listen once I start i don't want you to interupt me alright. I just need to get this all out alright?"

"Alright." I focus on Calum as he looks at his fingers, nervously toying with them. You can see it in his eyes how nervous he is. He really doesn't want to tell me, but I desperately need to know. For our relationship to work I need to know why, that's all. Why was he sent here? Why didn't he tell me? Why?

"I was at a party..."

-k-e-l-s-i-e-

I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN YEARS SCHOOL LITERALLY CAN SUCK MY ASS I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH UGH. 

anyways heres a bit of a filler chapter to hopefully mend for taking so long to update. I'll try to update whenever and trust me it will be a better chapter, hopefully. You'll get the details next chapter, dont hate me!

ily so fucking much

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kelsie :)

(i don't know why i sign my name at the bottom when i already do it at the top but oh well.)

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