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Mary's POV

Last night . . . . Last night was something else .
I was not sober . I haven't told Ethan and I don't plan to. I was conscious of what I was doing, but mentally I wasn't fully there to stop myself. It was all on me . Percocet has just become my sedative . It drowns out all of the white noise . I'm here but not here . My body has just become a restless soul that walks on this earth .  I can't get no sleep . He sleeps in peace knowing  I'm laying by his side . He doesn't know about this insomnia I have . He has no worries . He wakes up and is alive . I'm practically dead . Call me a fucking zombie cause that's what I've become. I rely on 3hours of sleep. I act as if I'm wide awake while I'm just not there when he's around. As soon as he leaves my sight I shut down . My eyes close and I just see him . I see the partner that I lost screaming in my face telling me to quit . I don't listen I just lay there and cry in silence.  I cry because I know it's wrong. He would've left me if he saw me do it again. Ethan would just take me to therapy and be gentle. I hate his extreme kindness . Once in a while I need a stern man to set me straight. I need to hear him shout . I feel like that the only way I'll listen.

I'm drowning cause I can't hold on . I am not that strong . I'm drifting off but something tells me to keep my head above water . I try but the drowning always takes over . Water fills my lungs slowly. My body slowly becomes less and less alert . All I seem to reach for is water . It's not helping , there's no support. As I sink to the bottom of this ocean I see nothing but the light I tried to reach slowly getting farther and farther away from my grasp . I don't see an escape. I don't think I'm getting out . I don't want to drown . I'm waiting and hoping for someone to see me and pull me out of this ocean . I need to start swimming.

I can hear the percs calling .





                                           —




Ethan's POV

I just got home after a long day at the office. I've called Mary ten times she hasn't answered. I sped home as soon as I left. I can sense the trouble I'm about to face .  I'm furious. I rushed upstairs to check if she was still there .

I opened the door too see her laid up on the floor . I rush over to her concerned.

"Mary." I shook her body lightly.

Her eyes slowly opened.

"Hey Ethan ." She fake smiled .

"Are you ok princess?" I pushed her hair out of her face .

"Yeah , I just fell asleep randomly after I finished cleaning ." She responded.

I picked her up and laid her on the bed .
I pulled off my shirt and pants . I got in bed with her . I pulled her body against mine . My hand slowly caressed her face . I'm just glad she's ok .

"I love you ." I kissed her cheek .

                                           —

Her hand made its way to my hair . She began running her hands through it . She faced me . She leaned in and began kissing me softly . She pulled away for a few seconds only to whisper in my ear.

"Please me Ethan ." She whispered.

Her wish is my command. I slowly began leaving wet kisses all over her neck and chest . My hand was feeling all up on her lower half .
Soft moans left her mouth .  I was just getting her a little aroused . It was enough for her to go crazy and ask for more .  I wasn't going to make her unable to walk tomorrow. It was more something to think about.

"Ooh when you touch me, I just can't control it.
When you touch me, I just can't hold it.
The emotion inside of me, I can feel it." She was slowly growing frustrated .

   



"Wake up Ethan."


"How are you feeling Ethan ?" She asked . I barely woke up.

"Good." I pecked her lips .

She turned around and faced the wall . Silence filled the room . It felt awkward which was rare .

After two minutes soft cries was all you could hear . I was now worried.

"What's wrong ?" I checked on her .

"Nothing." She responded.

She got up and went into the bathroom . I was so confused. I was now wondering what was going through her mind . She looked so out of it .

After hearing no sound coming from the bathroom I got up and walked in . She was showering. She just stood there . I was already naked . The only thing covering me right now was the towel wrapped around my waist . I dropped it and got in with her . I wrapped my arms around her and brought her into my chest .

I didn't ask any questions. I just held her . She was going through something and I'm here because she needs comfort. That is something as her partner I have to provide.

"I love you ." I said and kissed her forehead.

She looked up at me with eyes bloodshot red .

She hasn't been acting like herself lately. I feel like someone hurt her and she hasn't told me . I feel the tension between me and her . It's so strong but we just don't acknowledge  it .  I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I just hope that whatever happened isn't severe . Whatever is bothering her is really bothering me right now , only because I don't know what it is .



She got out of the shower. I followed right behind her . She looked torn down . Her face was full of uncertainty. I'm really hoping she could have enough strength to tell me soon . From the looks of it , she looks about finished with it. What ever she's hiding looks like it's about to spill out of her . She looks ready to burst. It's eating her alive second by second. Hiding it is hurting her deeply . I need to help . I just don't know how .










Mary's POV

I'm about to drown .












I plead insanity.

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