18. real life

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[ 18. real life ]
J E O N G G U K

another trigger warning ):

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The following week, Jeongguk spots Taehyung at the front of school. His heart swells in his chest at the sight of the boy in his letterman jacket, parted blonde locks, and his rectangular smile.

"Taehyung!" He calls out, waving at him to get his attention. However, Taehyung doesn't seem to notice him, his gaze fixated towards the parking lot.

Jeongguk adjusts his backpack and walks faster, eager to reach him. But before he can approach him, a girl's already by his side.

"Hey there," The girl giggles, tucking back a strand of her ginger hair behind her ear. Taehyung and her exchange some words, and from the side Jeongguk watches them laugh together.

All he can do is watch as the girl gives Taehyung a hug. She holds on for a little while longer before pulling back, smiling at Taehyung with her lipstick-painted lips.

Jeongguk feels his heart drop in his chest. Something inside of him cracks a little just seeing them together, though he assures himself it's all an act. He quickly tries to pick up his heart's breaking pieces before they all fall apart, repeating in his mind this is all fake.

Taehyung and him can't be obvious, so of course he has to pretend to be interested in other girls, right? As much as Jeongguk wishes he can be open with him, this is their fate.

This is how it should be. Taehyung with a girl. Taehyung with someone who can make him happy.

Jeongguk sucks in a breath, forcing a smile on his face when he notices Grace approaching him. He can't be sad when this is their reality.

What right does he have to be jealous when the two of them can never be open about their feelings for eachother?

So, he watches them enter school together, arm in arm. It pains him to see it, but he has no choice but to suck it up.

It's all just pretend, right?

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"Hey Taehyung," Jeongguk calls his name when he passes in the hall. His face lightens up, hoping Taehyung will stop to greet him, but his smile instantly falls when he walks right by him.

"Kim!" There's a group of football players waiting at the other end of the hall. Jeongguk doesn't really get too sad, knowing Taehyung has other friends too.

Jeongguk nods to himself, trying to gather himself together. He presses his tongue into his cheek, willing himself not to get upset.

There's other people Taehyung cares about - not just him.

He glances over at their group, hoping at least he can make eye contact with him. Trying his best to get his attention, their eyes finally meet for a second.

Jeonguk smiles shyly, lifting his hand to wave 'hello' but Taehyung whips his head the other way, focusing on his football buddies and not how Jeongguk's deflates realizing he's ignoring him once more.

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