Chapter 15 - He told he was never looking for a friend

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Wrote: 23rd September 2014

Edited: 11th August 2015

As I headed home and eventually got home, I felt like I could breathe again after seeing Niall just one more time. It was nice. He was nice.

"How was it?" Gemma asks as I enter our house.

"It was nice seeing him again," I pause, "well bye I'm going on Tumblr!" I run up the stairs and click on my computer. Turning it on and sitting in front of it. I watch out the window to see the couple that was there a couple days ago holding hands and walking down the street together.. they're a cute couple... I wish I could have that. It was at your fingertips.

I kinda feel bad for leaving him, but he deserves it. I don't. I'm super innocent and I need to keep my innocence for someone who actually loves me.

I want someone who would cuddle me and tell me I'm pretty whilst I eat pizza. I miss you.

Someone who would hold my hand with no shame and then they'd make me feel happy and not like I have to waste my life on this fucking website! Ugh.

I miss Niall.

*Niall*

"Niall you got what you wanted now he's gone," Archie reminds me and I don't want to be reminded.

"I just want him back I guess. I miss him, I've never missed anyone so much Archie, not even my mum."

"Well don't tell me that," She gives me a knowing look and I guess she's right.

*Harry* (sorry for swapping all the time)

'Wishing you could hold Niall's hand every night', fucking Tumblr posts rubbing it in that I don't have that anymore. But I was closer than anyone.

It's like everywhere I go knows that I miss Niall. Twitter... Tumblr.. even Facebook.. and that's sad because I don't use that shit anymore.

Who goes on Facebook? Haha.. cute people who have no Tumblr. That's who, and they follow the tumblr accounts that post posts from tumblr and then say 'I'm so tumblr!' Like bitch no, calm yo self.

"Harry!! Lunch!!!" Gemma shouts and I leave my precious, precious laptop.. I know. It's painful! I practically run down the stairs and take the plate that Gemma has for me and it reminds me of Niall making me lunch... I need him now.

I don't just want anymore... I need him.

There's a difference.

Google it.

I walk sadly up the stairs again and look out the window to see some kids playing about... It's cute. I'd like my own kids. I really would, since it'd be fun. To take care of the little things with my future husband... It makes me think. How much would you have to love someone to have a kid with them? Kids are a big responsibility.

It makes me think how much I really love Niall but I'm too afraid to say because of rejection and this is why I don't fall in love. Because of the pain it causes, I'm stupid to be honest.

Why did I think someone like him would ever love me? He's all hot and shit and I look like a total... Potatoe!

He'd never love me... I hear a strum of a guitar and I check to see if my headphones are playing something.. nope. Nothing.

Where is that coming from? It sounds like... Need you now.. by Lady Antebullum?

Then I make the best decision I've ever made... I look out the window and see what is possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen..

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