Chapter 3

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the roots that once held us
are timeless
untouched by the passage of time
the same voices, the same souls

I stood in front of my house, it looks the same as before except the snow which wasn't covering the most of it when I visited last summer. I walked  through the lawn which is now covered in snow. Last summer, it felt more greener and more warmer, now it's just a serene white desert which has now got some of my footprints. I stand on the porch and notice the door. It is decorated with a string of lights and a garland with bells and red and white stars hanging down. I notice a similar faint carving on the left side of the door reading,
"Emma's heaven"
It's still there unchanged. I remember the day I carved it, that time I was 12 and that day I was bullied by some of my classmates and came home crying. That day I felt the most safest at home, home felt like the only place, the only escape giving me the warmth I needed.

I was busy in my thoughts when the knob turned and the door opened revealing my Mom. Her face lit up with bliss and longing. She immediately pulled me into a warm and a familiar hug and I hugged her back.

"How much long you have been standing here?" She asks as we pull out of the hug.

"Not long." I answer.

"Come in, unless you don't want to.catch a cold." She answers and leads the way inside.

I enter behind her and notice and brush off the ice off my hairs amd shoulders, my feet are extremely cold and my nose and cheeks might have gone red, a thing which is very common with me during winters.

"Would you like to have some coffee?" My mother asks from the kitchen.

"Yeah, coffee's good." I reply.

After a few minutes my mom comes out.

"Here." She says as she places the coffee mug on the dining table.

The hot steam hits my nostrils and soothes my cold nose. Nostalgia hits me as I take a sip. The same taste I've trying to make on my own but failed every time.

"So how's everything going on in college?" She asks as she takes her own coffee mug.

"Everything's good." I answer.

"Have you made any new friends or perhaps a boyfriend?" She asks. Her eyes light up in hope.

This is how my mom is, she wants to see as the most happiest person in the world. Despite knowing that I am terrible at making conversations, she still longs for me to have friends, someone I can run to when I am in danger. But things aren't the way they seem and people aren't interested in me.

"Why do I need more friends when I have Lisa and about that boyfriend thing, I think I'm not ready for a relationship yet." I replied nonchalantly so as to not inflict any kind of misery.

"You're 19 dear, when do you think you'll be ready to have a boyfriend let alone some good friends" She speaks in annoyance.

"I just want to focus on my studies for now."

"You don't understand Emma, you need to have someone, someone you can talk to, someone you can share your heart with and you need to socialize yourself in order to survive."

"Mom, I understand you, I respect your feelings, I really do but I don't need someone to rely on. I was raised by you and dad to be resilient and self reliant. I know you are worried about me but you need to trust me. I can do things on my own, be it anything." I speak as I try to make her believe in my words.

"If you continue running from people this way then I'm worried you would end up alone." She replies and somewhere it hit me real hard.

She's right, I will end up alone. She left me with no words. That's how my mom is, she is wise with her words and she knows the reality of things.

"Mom, I don't want to talk about this besides it's Christmas week. I want to enjoy this week with you, dad and Stella. Can't we just not talk about this same annoying thing anymore." I blurt out hiding the pain I felt. I know she's right, she always is.

"Ok, let's not talk about this, just be happy and do smile often... Ahh it's hot here, my eyes are sweating." She spoke as she tries to hold her tears back.

"Mom... I am happy and I'll be happy." I pulled her into a tight hug. My mom is the only person who can read my face.

"By the way where are Dad and Stella?" I asked pulling out of the hug.

"They have already gone to bed and I think you should also shower and sleep, after all it's too late." My mom says finally wiping the tears which flooded out from the corner of her eyes.

"Good night, Mom!" I say as I kiss her cheek and head towards my room.

"Good night, dear." I heard my mom saying from behind.

(I noticed that people are reading this book but no one is voting or commenting for the book let alone sharing. I feel terrible that I'm getting no response from my readers, please guys vote and let me know if you have suggestions)

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