Chapter 86

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***All credit goes to Reilly Roo2 Half of Railly***

*Paisley's POV*

'Funny because I have video of you too...?" I typed out to her quickly, probably going to regret sending that but she can't just hang that over my head. And what was with the whole 'A' thing? I didn't think we were in an episode of Pretty Little Liars now but who knows right?

"He'll be in here soon...Pay what's wrong?" Niall asked walking up to me after he had walking into the room. Too be honest, everything was wrong. I was so pissed right now I couldn't even think straight. I hated this hospital, I hated knifes, I hated my stupid heart rate monitor that was only getting stronger and louder at each second that passed, I hated not being able to go home, I hated not being able to talk with out my cheek hurting, I hated hurting, but most of all, I hated Amy.

How could I be as stupid to let her bring a knife on me? She wouldn't really kill me, she didn't have the guts too. Her whole tough girl attitude was all an act I should have known that from the start. But I was a stupid idiot not to realize it before. Honestly, all I wanted was to go home. I couldn't stand all this drama.

"I want to go home." I muttered, playing with my fingers and biting on my lip slightly.

"W-what?" He asked coming closer to me and standing right on the side of the bed next to me.

"I don't want to have to deal with all this drama anymore. I think it would just be best for me to go home and tell the press that what Amy said was true so I stop getting hate. It would just be better this way." I said keeping my eyes on the patterned quilt that covered my legs.

"Paisley don't say that. Everything is going to be fine. Please just stay here. For Harry...for me?" He whispered, by now I was already starting a crowd as Liam turned to face us and Louis had just stopped talking to me from my right side when Niall walked in. Zayn was sitting in the corner quietly listening I could tell.

"I'm nothing but a waste of space here with you guys. Harry's right, all I do is cause drama. You don't need me here anymore. Leaving would just be best and all of you know that." I said looking at each and every one of them.

"Who says you're a waste of space for us? Don't you see that we love having you here? You brighten everything up for us and we can come and talk to you when we have problems. Pay, you're crazy if you think all those things." Louis finally managed to speak up, tears already started to prick into his glassy eyes.

"Then I guess I'm crazy." I muttered, smiling to myself slightly. "You may call me crazy for thinking all those things but when it comes right down to it, it's true and you all know it. Your so called fans remind me of it every day. They point out all my flaws and break me down to the point where I don't see a point in living. Sometimes, when you are constantly sent hate, you start to believe everything you see. So yeah, call me crazy but if you call me crazy then so are the fans." I finally broke out of holding that all inside for so long, I was breathless to be honest.

"Paisley none of that is true." Zayn stood up from the corner and walked over to the bed and looking at me with his warm hazel brown eyes.

"It must be if everyone thinks that." I laughed to myself as the doctor came in and checked on everything, giving me some pain meds.

"When can I leave this hospital?" I asked him and he looked up from his clipboard and chuckled slightly.

"Well as soon as you were stable you were allowed to leave. So technically, you can leave now. I would want to leave too seeing how many times you've been here." He whispered the last part to me and I put on a fake small smile. He soon took out all the needles in my arms and the boys handed me a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt to change into.

"It's going to be cold but you can't wear pants until those stitches are out. Unless of course they are really loose sweatpants, but even if you wear those, you have to cover up the stitches with some cloth." The doctor said as I stepped out of the bathroom, limping slightly from the pull on my skin.

"Thanks doc." I muttered and he smiled.

"Anytime. Try and stay out of the hospitals for a little while now alright?" He asked and I laughed and nodded as I followed him out the door. The tour bus was already out and waiting by the entrance and by the time I walked up the steps and looked around, I saw Harry asleep on the couch with his phone almost falling out of his hand.

He had almost the same text from Amy as I did but he hadn't answered it yet. Storming back to my room, I slammed my door shut and started packing all my stuff roughly into the bag as I heard all the boys knocking on my door and trying to get me to open up. I sat on my bed with a pen and paper in my hands for hours trying to think about how write everything. By the time I finished it was around 11 o'clock at night. We had already parked the bus for the night and all I needed to do was meet the taxi that was outside the tour bus.

'I'm sorry for leaving, but I'm not going to say that I'm going to miss all the hate. I hope you guys know why I'm leaving and why it's better this way. I love you all, I hope you know that, and you know where to reach me. ~Pay'

I set the note on the kitchen counter and the individual notes for each of them next to it as I grabbed my plane ticket and walked out the door, taking my last few looks around the tour bus.

"I'm going to miss you guys." I muttered to myself as I wiped my cheek from the single tear the dripped off my cheek and shut the lights in the living room off.

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N is for never ending short of horrible names you call me.

I is for the interesting things you always come up with to make my life hell.

A is for the abuse you put me through.

L is for all the lying.

L is for the love that's always been hidden. <3 <3

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