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One week.

It’s been one week since the accident.

4 days since I was sent home with a broken arm.

The 3 days I spent in the hospital, I spent them with Zayn. After those three days, I felt somewhat whole again.

It was if it took something as fatal as a car crash to make me understand that I can’t give up. The past two years of my life haven’t been fair at all, but there was no way in hell I was going to make my kids go through losing both parents.

The impact of the car made me realize the importance of not giving up and staying strong not only for my kids but for my family and friends.

These past two years I’ve been looking at things in a negative way breaking myself more and more each day when I should have done the opposite of that.

I know I’m strong enough and I know at the end, everything happens for a reason.

Those three days in the hospital with Zayn made me realize what true love really is.

It’s when you face so many obstacles and problems but your love grows more and more each day. Every day, I fall in love with Zayn more even though he isn’t with me. But in a way, he is with me.

Thinking about other people’s problems, mine is probably the easiest. Others lose their loved ones forever, they have to bury them. The love of my life is still here and he’s fighting for all of us. Compared to others, I have it good.

That’s how I should have been thinking from the beginning and that’s how I’m going to keep thinking from now on.

While I was in the hospital, Zayn didn’t respond. Well, to me at least. To say that I wasn’t disappointed would be a lie but again, everything happens for a reason.

Would have I been able to handle it if he did move his hand or squeeze my hand? I don’t think I would have and maybe that’s why it didn’t happen.

I don’t know why I have this feeling that everything will be okay. In a way, I’m glad that the accident happened because that’s what brought me back to reality.

Even though life isn’t fair, you can still control the intensity of that. Your actions can change that and that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

I looked at the stairs that led to the basement and took a deep breath. I haven’t stepped foot down there since the accident two years ago and that’s going to change.

“Mommy, where are you going?” Jane asked me.

“Downstairs honey, do you want to come with me?”

“Really! You told us we can’t!” Jawaad said surprised.

“Well, now we can. You can pick whatever you want down there and I’ll tell you the story behind it okay?”

They both nodded excitedly.

I held both their hands as we walked downstairs and entered the big room.

“Wow!” Jane said as she looked around the room.

You see, when we first moved in here, Zayn decided he wanted to paint something, or spray paint to be exact.

Don’t get me wrong, I love his passion for this but you can’t exactly have your husband spray paint the living room walls. So we decided he’ll use some rooms upstairs and the basement. He was excited about the basement so much that he made it his mission to make it so special.

He wanted to spray paint every wall and make it into a game room for us.

Every painting on these walls has a meaning behind it and that’s what I meant by making it special. He never wanted us to forget any special moments, so he painted little things that expressed them.

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