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Pen Your Pride

-Lucifer's Point Of View-

The next day, I didn't see Tom at school even though we only shared English class. Either he hates me and he's ignoring me, or he didn't even attend school today.

*Lunch period*

It's my first week here in Rancho and I still have only one friend- who now avoids me, of course. In fact now people started picking on me because they apparently think it's so funny.

I got tripped in the hallway by a really tall senior on my way to the cafeteria to have lunch. I get called names on every damn period. Girls are mean. Guys are douches. I don't fit in although I don't wanna stand out. I'm alone and all I ever think about is going back home. Fuck this place. I hate it.

Anywhore, I got to the cafeteria and took out my lunch bag from my backpack while listening to "Bite Back" by The All-American Rejects.

When I opened my brown lunch baggie, I found the little note with lyrics written on it, a different lyric every day just like we did back in Texas with Agus. Today's lyrics were "I used to have a best friend, now just one more enemy. All I want is nothing, because all I want is what I can't have". It's the chorus from "All I Want Is Nothing" by frnkiero andthe cellabration.

I took out the rest of my lunch and layed it in front of me. I wasn't very hungry today; my mom made me a ham and cheese sandwich although she knows I'm vegetarian. Of course she refuses me to become a vegetarian- that's why she insists so much on me eating a piece of dead animal, also known as 'meat'. So I decided not to eat it, and just eat some salad and Sun Chips she had stuffed in the bag.

Halfway done with my food, another senior walks by, this time a girl with tremendous slutty features. She kind of reminded me of Holly. Ugh Holly. The senior grabbed the container that had my remaning salad in it and threw it on my head, making tomatoes and baby carrots ruin my clean hair. Why? I had no fucking clue. After that, she left laughing her ass off along with the group of girls who followed behind her. I guessed they were the cheerleading squad. What a shitty cheerleading squad.

Embarassed in front of half of the whole school, I gathered my things and stuffed them all in my backpack not even caring if it was food or binders that I was stuffing in it. I couldn't see a thing because of the tears rolling down my cheeks. I was pissed and I never wanted to come back.

I ran across the halls to get to the bathroom and wash my face and the remnants of salad on my hair. Stained gray cheeks and bloodshot eyes were all I could see in the mirror beyond my blurred vision. This place is sick, I told myself while grabbing firmly both sides of the bathroom sink. I took a look at the mirror one last time only to find a horrible waste of bones and flesh. Yes, me. You filthy fag I muttered through clenched teeth. You filthy, filthy fag. Unlovable. Hideous. Worthless, I whispered and then kicked the door to the bathroom stall behind me with all my force, suprised that it didn't break. I flinched at the loud banging sound I had created, but I couldn't care less.

And if my day couldn't get any worse, when I walked out of the women's bathroom, from the corner of my eye I saw Thomas. He didn't seem to be aware that I had just walked past him. He was talking to Holly in the middle of the hall and I almost lost my mind, if I hadn't lost it earlier.

I chose to ditch the rest of the periods for the day and walk back home. Hopefully my mom wouldn't be there, just like always.

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