Misconceptions (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 25 ~ Zayn

Chapter 25 ― Zayn

Mila led me away from the rest in this secretive way. I liked how we were acting, like real friends, like partners in crime. I felt close to her and this whole afternoon with her had been great. I finally felt like we were moving on, like this was the beginning of something and I also felt like there was hope. As I watched Alex and Niall together, I realised it didn’t hurt that much, it almost didn’t hurt at all! I saw them and I just wanted that for me, I wanted Mila looking at me that way, I wanted her to hold my hand like Alex held Niall’s.

That afternoon I started to consider if I ever was really in love with Alex as I thought I was. I knew in some point I really loved her, but maybe after a while those feelings changed. Maybe all I wanted was to be loved like she loved Niall. I just wanted someone to love me for who I really was, I wanted someone to see the real me, like Alex did.

That afternoon I understood why Mila hated that I compared her to Alex. She felt like I wasn’t seeing the real her and that hurt her. Now I could understand that because it was what really made me feel so down and so hurt every time I saw Niall and Alex together.

And now that I understood that, I was only focused on Mila. I really wanted her, I wanted to try to make things work with her, I wanted to make her like me for the real me. That was why this afternoon —and night— was going so great, because we were getting to know each other better, we were discovering more things about ourselves and how we could get along quite well.

“Okay, here’s the thing. Liam doesn’t like Phebs. Not romantically speaking,” she clarified and I just nodded leaning a bit closer as she was whispering. “This is a very normal thing and probably he doesn’t realise it either. He’s used to Phebs loving him, you know? Looking at him with these puppy eyes and even if it was inconvenient, that fed his ego. And now that she doesn’t look at him like that, now that she doesn’t love him that way… he’s missing that. Well, his ego, at least. It’s not a conscious thing and I would say it’s a human thing. We like to have someone loving us, we like to know we are special for someone. He will get over that pretty soon, so we don’t have to worry about it,” she finished and I just looked at her surprised, my eyes wide open.

She just made a whole analysis in a mater of seconds and explained everything to me so easily. It impressed me how fast her mind worked and with just a few things. She didn’t even know Liam that well and even though she could figure out what was going on with him immediately. What she told me made total sense! Why didn’t I see that earlier?

“Impressive,” I told her in awe. “You just figured that out from looking at him…”

“I’m quite good at reading people. Plus, it makes sense ‘cos I know he loves Danielle and for the way he reacted when we asked him, I know he’s not confused. So it has to be that,” she mused and I nodded, following her reasoning.

“That’s how you read me the day we met. No one had done that with me before,” I commented and for a second I saw a shadow crossing her eyes. Could it be because when she read me that easily she discovered my feelings for Alex?

For some reason, I kind of liked that she didn’t react well to the possibility of me having —still having— feelings for Alex. I wanted to let her know I was moving on, that I was finally leaving those feelings behind and that everything was becoming about her.

“Let’s see what can you say about me now, shall we?” I asked her, challenging her to see that everything was different now. I wanted her to see that for herself, I wanted her to notice I really liked her.

I looked her in the eyes; a cocky little smile was playing on my lips as I leaned in closer to her. I saw her blushing a bit but she didn’t step back, she stood there holding my gaze with an eyebrow arched. “What can you see?” I pressured and I didn’t stop getting closer to her. Maybe two inches divided our bodies and it still didn’t feel close enough.